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Seven Year Old Boy with Challenging Behaviour

11 replies

Noveltyrocks · 10/12/2023 19:32

My 7 year old son has been playing up massively recently but this weekend really takes the biscuit. We have a few elves on the shelf in our home and think he thought he could blame the elves for his naughty behaviour.

He took my husband and my bank card. He wrote his name on my husband's bank card and decided to colour my red Santander in with black marker so nothing was visible. He reached my husband back his card but it was the next day before I realised mine was missing. He told hubby that the elves had done it and laughed.

When questioned about mine he said he could not remember where he had put it but he thought he had lost it in the toy room. I said I might have to report it stolen if I had lost it in town and he said no it's in the house. I said we are going out now and I will have to find other means to pay but that most of my money was linked to the card.

Fast forward a few hours and I told him no screen time until he found it. Of course he said what if it's never found? I replied saying then no screen time. My daughter and I looked for ages and he looked very worrying and confessed I put it in the bin as I coloured it in.

Totally furious and surely this is not typical behaviour for a 7 year old boy?! I gave him a good ticking off and sent him to his room for the night. He said he felt bad for doing it.

I am going to leave a note from the elves tonight saying they have returned to the North Pole to inform Santa of his behaviour. He will be devastated they are gone.

How else should I deal with this? For reference he is not learning difficulties as he is at the top of his class for everything.

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AutumnNamechange · 10/12/2023 19:50

Hmm this sounds like behaviour you'd expect from a toddler. He is clearly struggling with impulse control. Are you sure there is no neuro-diversity? Some kids are very good at masking at school and lots of ND children do not have learning difficulties.

Noveltyrocks · 10/12/2023 19:54

AutumnNamechange · 10/12/2023 19:50

Hmm this sounds like behaviour you'd expect from a toddler. He is clearly struggling with impulse control. Are you sure there is no neuro-diversity? Some kids are very good at masking at school and lots of ND children do not have learning difficulties.

I am not sure if there is any or not. He may have a few signs of ADHD (like lots of people) but not enough to warrant a diagnosis. Normally he can control his behaviour in school and sit and concentrate to finish homework to a good standard.

He has had some minor anxiety recently so not sure if it's related to this. I honestly don't know what to think anymore.

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3ormorecharacters · 10/12/2023 19:54

I'd lay off the Elves business. I think it's confusing for lots of children anyway tbh to be celebrating and laughing at naughtiness. All the Santa / elves / naughty and nice list business at this time of year puts a huge amount of pressure on children and I think is often actually quite confusing and stressful for them. Suffice to say I'm not a fan! There are plenty of other ways to make magical memories at this time of year.

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Noveltyrocks · 10/12/2023 20:04

3ormorecharacters · 10/12/2023 19:54

I'd lay off the Elves business. I think it's confusing for lots of children anyway tbh to be celebrating and laughing at naughtiness. All the Santa / elves / naughty and nice list business at this time of year puts a huge amount of pressure on children and I think is often actually quite confusing and stressful for them. Suffice to say I'm not a fan! There are plenty of other ways to make magical memories at this time of year.

I hate the elves. His school started it and I always refused. He saved up some Birthday money and wanted to buy his own elves, so I've got stuck with it this year.

I guess it is confusing for them. I had given one of the elves my bank card the other day and I was not that mad about it, so who knows maybe he thought it be okay to take my card. Hard to know what goes through a 7 year old's head.

They are definitely banished this evening with a written apology saying sorry we were so naughty lol.

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PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 10/12/2023 20:13

I had given one of the elves my bank card the other day and I was not that mad about it, so who knows maybe he thought it be okay to take my card.

There’s your answer…!

itsmyp4rty · 10/12/2023 20:43

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 10/12/2023 20:13

I had given one of the elves my bank card the other day and I was not that mad about it, so who knows maybe he thought it be okay to take my card.

There’s your answer…!

Agreed. He's learning what's acceptable from you via the elves. Don't have the elves doing anything that you wouldn't be ok with him doing.

Glitterbiscuits · 10/12/2023 20:44

It's not him. It's you. ( and the elves).

Eveningintheafternoon · 10/12/2023 20:46

I actually don’t think it’s a big deal. It’s really annoying for you obviously but he won’t fully understand that. It sounds like he did something silly without fully understanding just how silly it was and when challenged he did admit it. Children do get carried away with silly behaviour sometimes and while being told off is right I wouldn’t overegg the pudding, so to speak.

Eveningintheafternoon · 10/12/2023 20:48

and I wouldn’t (personally) involve the elves in anything relating to this. It’s blurring the boundaries between actual and fantasy. He knows they aren’t really real, so by having them write an apology it suggests that any annoyance at what he did isn’t real either and is part of a game.

AutumnNamechange · 10/12/2023 21:20

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 10/12/2023 20:13

I had given one of the elves my bank card the other day and I was not that mad about it, so who knows maybe he thought it be okay to take my card.

There’s your answer…!

That puts a whole new slant on things OP! You gave him the idea that messing with bank cards was a thing. Go easy on your son - the run up to christmas always sends kids a bit crazy!

Noveltyrocks · 10/12/2023 21:41

I agree the run up to Christmas is hard on them because there is so much going on. Hopefully he will settle soon.

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