Meltdown 11wk old

[ImiO]

I went out to meet friends for the first time with my baby today and she cried and cried and cried. I cried. I felt so embarrassed and like a failure. Nothing soothed her. Wouldn’t sleep. Wouldn’t feed. I wasn’t anywhere overstimulating / busy. Other babies her age were just quietly chilling in their prams.

Have lost all confidence in myself to go out again with baby in a setting that isn’t a short walk or errand.

Is it possible that she’s coming down with something? Often you only realise after.
Don’t let it knock you, we’ve all been there.

@DustyLee123 im not sure. Checked her temp, no obvious symptoms that I could see.

This happens to lots of people at some point. What is her sleep like? Sounds like she was uncomfortable or overtired. If you can time it so she falls asleep before you get there, that might work better another time. Ie feed her, change her, walk to where you’re meeting with her in her pram so she falls asleep on the way. (My oldest was a lot like this. You just have to find out what works for you both).

Perhaps she felt your anxiety. The more stressed you got, the more fractious she got.

This feels so bad in the moment but the only thing that happened was your baby cried and you were there to comfort them. Even if they didn't want to feed or sleep, you were there.

Don't let this knock your confidence. Baby could have cried all day if you'd stayed in today aswell, you never know.

I remember taking my baby out into town on my own for the first time, she was 2 months old.
She cried the whole time and it was awful. It knocked my confidence a lot and I really struggled.
I eventually told myself that I need to take her out or I'll be stuck inside forever.
She's 8 months old now and she's a dream to take out, she loves looking about and being nosey.
I know it feels awful but don't let this set you back, face it head on and take her out again on your own, even just for a walk around town to build your confidence back up. If she gets upset you can always bring her home.
I promise other people don't care and the cries sound so much worse to you.

Are you OK OP?
How did your friends react? Are they mums too?

This happened to me, first baby and my friend with no children. She was over an hour later (trains) and he got fed up, plus looking back an itchy cardigan!
Whole coffee shop staring at me and she was also flapping. She still mentions it now sometimes wait till she has kids

ah man, it’s just babies. It doesn’t stop for a good few years. I took my 4 year old to meet a group of new friends and she threw a never before seen kind of tantrum that made me cry. Got to love them.

@ImiO

Babies cry. They all cry. Some cry more than others. Some cry at inconvenient moments. Sometimes they cry for no reason at all.

It is nothing even remotely to be embarrassed about. Nobody will have thought anything of it at all. Your baby was doing what babies do, and you were there to comfort her, even if it didn't seem to make any difference.

If a baby is going to cry, you might as well be out and about and chatting with friends, because it's actually easier than just being at home with an inconsolable baby.

Don't worry, everyone gets that baby's do that - even people who don't have children know that they themselves will have been the non-stop crying baby for their mums on a lunch date one time.

Quite possibly has a cold coming on, everyone's got one atm

@DustyLee123 wow thanks so much for that - helpful

This is exactly what I did. She slept 30 mins then wouldn’t sleep again, I tried to rescue the nap @Changed18

It
Was
A baby being a baby! Don't fret about it. I didn't really leave the house till DTs were six months.

Your friends could come to you instead.

Thank you for being kind :’( @eeeex

They absolutely do pick on your stress... and cry 😬

@LightSpeeds yes I’m sure that’s what set her off to begin with, when I was perfectly calm. Thanks

Honestly don’t know why I bother writing on here for support. If I could delete this thread I would.

It happens. Don't let it put you off going out. Sending hugs x

I don’t think posters are trying to upset you, just offering ideas why baby wouldn’t calm down, it’s true that they pick up on mums stress. It definitely happened to me when mine were small.

Please don’t let it put you off going out places, people know that babies cry. One of mine used to cry on every bus journey so I know it feels stressful and like everyone is looking or judging but it does pass and they move on to laying down on the floor and having tantrums instead. .

Oh girl I've been there, I once called her dad crying to come and get me in the early days a she wouldn't stop crying! It can be so hit and miss. They can't tell us what's wrong with them. Could have been trapped wind, we wouldn't have had a clue! Here is a story, mines 19 months old now. And I'm only nursing for her for a nap and bedtime. Well didn't she have a meltdown because she was overtired. It wasn't nap time. She was just ready for her nap earlier that day, so there I sat on a packed out bus, breastfeeding my toddler as she fell asleep, trying not to cry myself. The meltdown stopped and she fell asleep and I popped her in the buggy and all was good. It happens, and we'll be embarrassed and we'll get over it. It's hard to predict what can happen.

Whenever I hear a baby crying, I’m totally sympathetic. I’m sure everyone around you is too. We’ve all been there!

plus, as per a pp, your baby’s cry sounds much worse to you than to anyone else.