dream feed nightmare!

[Wrigglepants]

Baby is 24 weeks and never been a good sleeper. Did dream feed from february by leaving him in the cot as taking him out was only waking him. Stopped feeding lying down about 2 weeks ago as realised it had given him an ear infection, so started to take him out again (took it back from 10.30 to 10pm), but he has always stirred,and it never really has worked for us, but for some reason I continued with it,(woke at all sorts of times in the night etc). Decided to give it up totally on Sunday as he was waking at 3am everynight with a full nappy and then again at 4am etc and had nothing to lose and finally realised that the dream feed was creating the problems in the night. However, I don't expect not to feed him in the night, but decided it was better to go natural. However, I have now got him waking even more. First night he woke at 10pm, put dummy in and he settled back until 7am (with no food at all) with wakings at 4am, but he put himself back, Second night, the same. The third night and fourth night he woke all night every 45 minutes from 9.30pm until morning which was hell, with me just trying to settle him back each time, but it only lasting a short time before waking again. Thought as he'd gone two nights before without food and he is on three solid meals a day and feeding well, that it wasn't food. I realise now I have mucked with his sleep cycle big time and am now unable to correct it. In desperation the last two nights I have fed him at 10 ish when he has woken and he has had a more settled night, waking at 4am, but waking early for the day at 5.30 or 6am. I don't know what to do? By feeding him now at 10pm when he wakes for it, am I enforcing another habit and problem? Plus, I can't see he needs it then as he is fed a big tea at 5.30pm and bottle at 7pm. Why did it work for two nights? Shall I feed when he wakes but only with water, or shall I continue as it is and hope he will give it up with time ? ( In my heart I think I am just re-enforcing a waking habit by feeding him) I really regret mucking with his sleep cycles but it seems now it is the worst of all worlds and I am now creating more problems. Any advice welcome about what to do tonight or in the long run?

oh dear i didnt want to not post a reply although i have nothing useful to say! This is something i struggle with all the time, what is best for the baby!??? i dunno! i secretly agree with you that he doesnt need the 10pm feed and it probably is just about comfort for him. the only problem is that it is such hell getting baby from lovely comfy BF's to go to sleep to doing it themself.
You have just got to decide what you think is best and stick to it. say "right. as of today, no more night BF's" and then just go through the hell that is the adjustment period! It will get better, he just needs to learn.
All the best!!

How do you know he isn't hungry?

He may well be going through a growth spurt or a developmental phase. Both of these can cause disruption in sleep patterns.

Personally I would carry on with the dreamfeed. I don't know much about ff, but I didn't think you were supposed to feed from a bottle when they are laying flat?

From experience, make a plan and stick to it. Chopping and changing things gets you in a flap and disrupts the lo.

I had this exact problem with ds where the dream feed we were doing seemed to make things worse. Instead of the time he spent asleep after 10/11pm getting longer it got shorter and shorter.

I dropped it at around 4/5 months old and we had a month or more of really really bad sleep. I can't say I solved it really he just seemed to grow out of it and settle down with time.

FWIW I think he still needs at least one milk feed (and probably 2) between 7pm and 5/6am when he wakes for the day. So if you really want to keep feeds to a minimum but you want him to set his own pattern you may want to make some rules like

After 7pm maybe feed him the first time he wakes up - whatever time that is. Then after that maybe feed him if it is more than 3-4 hours since his last feed, otherwise try not to feed him until 6am or whatever you decide.

Of course rules with babies are made to be broken {grin]

My views is that milk should be more important than food at this age so I wouldn't try and make him do without at night, unless he sleeps without waking by himself.

I would not wake him to feed him though.

I think at this age he does still need to be fed in the night. Not all night, not every time he wakes, but once or twice.

If the 10pm feed is helping him to sleep through til 4, I would continue giving it. He might be stocking up for the night so that he can sleep longer.

It will even itself out. We had lots of problems around that age as DD was trying to figure out the right balance of solids/milk and teething makes a huge difference in the sleep schedule.

Good luck with it all, it's so hard to know if you're doing the right thing!

Try the dreamfeed at 11 rathe than 10. And leave him in his cot, but get a rolled up towel and pop it under where his head meets his neck. This way neck straight, and you cn easily just life him slightly, remove towel with hardly any movement. Plus, I used dreamfeed for both my children and they do stir a little everytime - this is normal and does not mean they are awake so don't get panicked!

I am the other way from the other posters. At 24 weeks I think he should be able to go from 11pm til 0530/0600 next morning without any other feeds. If he wakes hungry a few times, babies usually just start taking more in the day IME. But,this will only be successful if the amount of sleep he has in the day is limited and you are ensuring day feeds are increased to take into account the amount he usually takes in the night.