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Parenting

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Original poster

10 month old prefers dad to me

5 replies

Snowey1223 · 05/12/2023 20:35

10 month old baby boy. I have been back to work approx 6 weeks now, 2 days a week with grandparents, 2 days a week at nursery and then 2 day with me

i am the primary caretaker, I was off 10 months mat leave alone with baby. Husband a lorry driver so works sometimes 50+ hours a week and occasionally weekends and occasionally out overnight. I feed clothe run him about take him out with me etc

on an evening husband normally looks after baby and plays with him etc as I’m normally cooking, tidying, doing washing, getting things ready for the next day. Husband puts baby down for bed at night, if at home I do all naps during the day and do all night wakings.

now baby is crawling he doesn’t want me he wants dad. If I put my arms out to him he wants to stay with dad. Is this normal? I know it’s silly but I’m taking it personal and feeling like I must be a bad mum as I thought babies always preferred mum.

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bogoblin · 05/12/2023 20:42

Totally normal! Try not to take it personally, although I know it stings. It definitely doesn't mean you're a bad mum at all. I remember when I went back to work after my first I'd be racing through the front door dying to see him and his attitude would be like Oh, you're home again are you? Alright then. And there's me having missed him all day only to be aired! 😂

He's had you all to himself for ten whole months - what a beautiful bond you've been able to build! You'll always be home to him. Sounds like he's just enjoying a bit of time with his dad.

When they're playing and you get a moment, get yourself a brew, watch them enjoy each other's company, and enjoy the peace. You're doing a great job!

Mothmansknickers · 05/12/2023 20:56

Both my girls prefer their DD. I get quite jealous, not because they prefer him but because I never knew my DD. I feel really happy that they have this wonderful relationship that I never had.

Mothmansknickers · 05/12/2023 20:57

Oh, and just to say, what you're feeling is completely normal!

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MilkChocolateCookie · 05/12/2023 20:59

This is really normal OP. My DD preferred her dad, and I was a SAHM at the time while he was working long hours! Now she's a teen and we're really close.

Dyra · 05/12/2023 21:13

Your son is so secure in his relationship and love for you, that he takes it for granted now. He certainly doesn't hate you, and you're not a bad mum. Quite the opposite. It's completely normal for small children to have a preferred parent, and to flip flop between them. Doesn't make it any less heartbreaking, when you're the one being rejected though. But it will pass.

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