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Parenting

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Original poster

Bad feeling

11 replies

ElOlEm · 04/12/2023 21:47

I always planned on having 2 children, I’d have liked 3 as I wanted a big family, but wasn’t willing to do pregnancy three times. Weirdly and morbidly, I had this thought about losing a child and how I didn’t want to be a lonely, old lady, so the bigger the family, the better.

I now have a 4 year old and got pregnant with twins! Who are now 19 months old. The 3 of them are my everything and it’s like the twins were meant to be (coz I didn’t want to do pregnancy 3 times, but wanted a big family). ANYWAY, I’ve now got this awful feeling I’m going to lose my son young and then thought ‘omg, maybe I was meant to have 3 kids and my premonition was right?!’

I do have anxiety, I’m a worrier, but I just can’t help feel like I thought about this before they were even born and maybe it’s a sign? I sound crazy, I know, but it makes me feel sick.

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Beamur · 04/12/2023 21:48

Sounds like your anxiety around this has got to a point you should speak to someone. Maybe your GP?

pjani · 04/12/2023 21:52

Yes, definitely chat with your GP. Some talking therapy or medication, if you're open to them, could really help lift these doom-laden feelings. Because they are definitely that, worries or anxieties, and think of all the mental space you'd have for other things if you didn't have those.

flowerchild2000 · 04/12/2023 21:55

I have bad anxiety and PND and this was for me, a major aspect of the PND. It was really bad the first year but got a bit better after that. It's not a sign, it's your hormones off together with anxiety. I started a new med that has been helping a lot, I do suggest reaching out to your doctor to see what you can do.

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OpenLanes · 04/12/2023 22:03

It's anxiety/intrusive thoughts.
Speak to a doctor as it could cause depression if it continues. Talking therapy is likely to help.

Original poster

ElOlEm · 04/12/2023 22:03

Just to clarify, this doesn’t take over my life. I do think about it regularly and it upsets me in the moment, but I’m a busy mum of 3, so I do move on from it until the next time. I don’t feel as though I need medication.

I guess ever since I spoke to a clairvoyant (I know, you’re going to tell me red flags) they said that basically I had the power to see things before they happen, I just needed to be more in tune with myself, so now whenever I get these strong feelings, straight away I think it’s me seeing into the future.

I am fully compos mentis, I promise 😂 I know this all sounds so far fetched, I recognise what I am saying sounds daft to others, but in my head it all makes sense 🤦🏻‍♀️.

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daisidoo · 04/12/2023 22:13

It’s just anxiety. Your thoughts can’t change something like that. Not a premonition. It’s not a thing. You have my full empathy as I feel like this sometimes and it is horrible. He and you will be ok xxx

daisidoo · 04/12/2023 22:16

ElOlEm · 04/12/2023 22:03

I am fully compos mentis, I promise 😂 I know this all sounds so far fetched, I recognise what I am saying sounds daft to others, but in my head it all makes sense 🤦🏻‍♀️.

I think it’s BS! Your son will be fine. Life doesn’t work that way. No one out there knew you needed twins, your body just released two eggs that month/embryo split into two in your body. In that moment your body had no clue whether it had your son, ten sons, or no kids already… it just happened randomly. Promise you it’s not correlated and is just your brain trying to cling onto something to keep you in fight or flight mode. It’s nothing more than intrusive thoughts but anxiety is a BEAST and I know how it feels!

flowerchild2000 · 04/12/2023 22:39

I just wanted to add that you're not strange, this is unfortunately normal but not talked about enough. There's days and days at a time I won't leave the house even if I really need to, because I have that horrible morbid feeling something bad is going to happen. I used to get vivid mental images of said terrible thing happening. It has gotten a lot better and less realistic, but it's still there, like very strong pangs of anxiety. You're not alone at all! It does get better and as I said, nothing bad is "supposed " to happen. You're very blessed with your children and that is what is meant to be.

flowerchild2000 · 04/12/2023 22:46

I highly recommend eliminating any caffeine or other stimulants from your diet. It makes things 10x worse for me, I might just be sensitive to it but it does increase anxiety for most people.

Flump8 · 04/12/2023 22:52

Do see a doctor now, before you give birth, as this may worsen after the birth. Even if it doesn't feel too severe now, you can prevent it from worsening later on.

Original poster

ElOlEm · 04/12/2023 22:55

Im not pregnant 😆

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