Accepting money from friends - how to discourage it?

[iheartdusty]

DD is 6. Every so often she comes back from a playdate with money that isn't hers. She confesses that her friend gave it to her, and she knows I forbid this and will make her return it.

However, I am finding it tricky to explain exactly why she must not take it. I am pretty confident that she does not steal it, she made me promise not to be angry before she admitted tonight where the latest had come from, so I think she would admit it if she had picked it up from the other house.

Am I right to not allow her to accept money from her friends? I would not stop her from accepting or giving away a toy or a plastic bracelet, for example, and she doesn't really grasp the distinction. But I can't quite put my finger on why I think she mustn't take it (or indeed give her money to her friends).
What do you think?

i had this with ds2 i explained that pennies are for money boxes but small toys can be 'swapped'

Is it from her friend or her friend's parent? Some parents dish out money when other kids are about and give the friend some as well as their own child (normally when they are out shopping). In which case I think you need to talk to the parent.

But in terms of giving things, couldn't you say it's only acceptable to give and receive things on birthdays and christmas because otherwise it's not 'special' on those days anymore?

I feel the same way as you, iheart, but I think it's because my mum was always so strict with me about it.
I guess it's because money can't actually be played with (well, unless playing shops), so what is the point in swapping? It's more fun to swap toys.
Mum used to bark at me that she didn't want friends to think I needed money, so I kept in line feeling it was more a pride thing.

We said it was wrong to accept money cos although it had been given by other child

If the other child's parents asked where their pocket money had gone

The other child may feel under pressure and then say that your child took it or persuaded the other child to give it to them

ANd we said that although we knew that our child wouldn't do that we wouldn't want the other parent to think that our child had taken it

Does that make sense?

It is definitely from the other child. I like the idea of saying toys can be swapped, and I don't want to stifle the kind and generous natures of DD and her friends. They are forever exchanging little love notes and the like.

RTKDM, I think you have it. Bit of a mouthful to explain with all the hypotheticals, but that's the essence of it.

thanks everyone