Which of these 3 options would you pick? Work/life/money balancing act. Tried to keep it simple!

[SmooSmed]

I have tried to keep this as simple as I can but I apologise if it is confusing to read..

I live in village A
My kids go to school in town A
My husband works in town A
(Town A is an 8 minute drive from our house in one direction)
I work in town B
(Town B is a 25 minute drive from our house in the opposite direction to town A)
We have one car
I work 22.5 hours per week
I have to decide between working 3 full days and 4 shorter days, and between a nursery next to my work or a childminder near to other kids school.

Options

3 days per week
I drop my husband at work and kids at breakfast club in town A
I drive myself and baby to town B, do nursery drop off and go to work
Finish work at 5pm, collect baby, drive home
Husband takes kids home from after-school club on the bus
Get home at around 5.30pm
This will cost us around £609 a month in nursery fees, fuel and after school club.

4 days per week
I drop my husband off at work and kids off at breakfast club in town A
I drive myself and baby to town B, do nursery drop off and go to work
Finish work at 2.30pm, collect baby
Drive to town A to collect kids from school.
Home for 3:45pm.
This will cost us around £735 whilst having nursery fees but will save us money once baby is also in school.

3 days per week
I drop my husband off at work and kids off at breakfast club in town A
I drive on to a different village, village B 10 mins further on from town A to drop baby at a childminder.
I drive myself to town B (now a 40 minute drive away)
Finish work at 2.30pm, drive to town A to collect kids and then drive to village B to collect baby
Home for around 4:20pm.
This is the cheapest option and will cost us around £430 a month.

First option

The middle one is too expensive - extra driving money and time too

The last one is awful for you - also you need to account for petrol but anyway don’t do it.

… saying that the second one isn’t much more is it? So if you prefer that do that.

But not the last one, it’s shit.

I think the temptation with the childminder is the price difference but also that if I eventually find a job in town A then I won't have to panic about childcare (there's basically nothing in that town childcare wise so if I turn down this space may never find another until my youngest starts school!)

But I do currently work in town B and have no prospect of working in town A anytime soon, it's purely hypothetical because I'm keeping an eye out for a job there. So yes, probably daft isn't it!

Is there not another childminder you can use closer to the kids school for the same sort of money?

Nope! There's quite a few nurseries and childminders in town B, but town A has nothing. Massive shortage of childminders here. There's not a single nursery in town A either.

Personally I think 3 days. That leaves you two clear weekdays to just be a mum, run around after the kids, do clubs, groups, activities and lots of chores. 4 shorter days gives you much less flexiblity and you are always chasing your own tail, always late for something, always watching the clock to avoid being late for drop off/pick up/work.

I worked with another mum, same hours but mine in 4 days and her 5 shorter days. She was always run ragged, always flustered and late. People at work made snide comments + felt she wasn't very present or committed because she was always dashing off mid afternoon. The reality was she often worked a bit later, but no-one gave her the credit. On my day off, I was out of sight out of mind + no-one judged me. In my whole day off, I got more quality time, I was less stressed, I could meet friends, go to a group. It was easy to swap my day if I needed to for kids being ill or seeing the kids nativity, after school would be happy to cover an extra session. In contrast my friend never seemed to gain much quality time, it just got sucked up by doing the pick up + getting the kids tea. Because she had no childcare to cover pick up, she couldn't swap days or work late as a one off. She felt pulled in all directions and so stressed.

Also, I don't recommend putting much weight on the future implications, a lot can happen in a few years. Kids want to do clubs, you or husband may change jobs. What suits your family now may not suit in a few years so don't let the future bind you. Not by choice, my childcare arrangements changed 3 times (first childminder got cancer, I got made redundant so kicked out of work based nursery and another child minder moved away.)

What should maybe be a bigger factor is whether the nursery or childminder fits your youngest child better. They both have their benefits. Also could the childminder do school pickup? What is going to happen in school holidays?

Thanks. That's helpful!

Honestly not a clue how I'm going to survive school holidays. We haven't sorted that yet