Mean for asking partner to give up hobby??

[Mummabear10032021]

Am I mean for asking my partner to give up his hobby? We have 2 kids (2 and a half and a 5 month old) he works 6 days a week, sometimes not home til 7 and 8 in the evening. On a Friday evening we literally comes in the door and goes off soccer training from 7-8 but more like 9 by the time he gets home. He works all day Saturday and is gone all day Sunday playing a game. I'm just so fed up of having the kids on my own 24/7. I told my partner he either gives up working Saturdays or gives up soccer cause it's not fair on me. Am I mean for asking this of him?

I barely did any of my hobbies during the first 3 years of DD’s life. Parenting was a huge time commitment in those first few years.

it was easy as a mother for me to see that parenting came first and my hobbies came second. I don’t understand why fathers don’t understand this intrinsically.

No, he’s taking the total piss. You should be getting equal time off. So you get an evening a week off and some weekend time. Theres no time for that in the current set up so he needs to give some stuff up

How can it take an entire day to play a game of soccer?

Er, no, he needs to stop that right now. It’s totally normal to have to ditch hobbies in the pre-school and even primary school years.

He needs to put in family time, and you need equal time off.

Does he have to do such long hours / or can that change when you go bank to work? As is it’s hard on both of you.

Because they haven't grown baby for 9 months and then pushed it out in agony/ecstasy. Don't think any man can fully get that

@EatMyHead well if the game is away they have to be there an hour before the game and then travel there so say a game was on a 2pm he would be gone since 11:30/12 and then it's a 90 minute game and then the to come home again it's nearly 5pm? Too late to do anything or go anywhere then

Sorry no, he is selfish. He can have a hobby but not one that takes over half the weekend.

So what was the conversation about how this was managed before you had kids and between baby 1 and baby 2? Surely it must have come up…

But no, yanbu. He’s out of the house too much. You need some support and break from the children and he needs to see some more of his children (he must barely spend any time with them.

It's not just about you having equal time off, either. It's really important to have time where you're parenting together, rather than just tag-teaming it.