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Original poster

Feeling guilty about what I'm feeding my baby

77 replies

lookingforadvice2402 · 03/12/2023 14:01

I went round my cousin’s yesterday.
We both have young babies but don’t get to see each other that often.

She feeds her DS absolutely anything. (13 months) He eats chocolate bars, McDonald’s, loads of frozen food put in the oven, pastries for breakfast, golden syrup in his porridge.. He even has an advent calendar! (Although don’t get me wrong, some fruit and veg are thrown in there too, it’s not all complete junk) (e.g processed sausage rolls with carrot & cucumber sticks a standard lunch)

My daughter is 11 months. I am that ‘organic mum’.. nearly everything is organic & made from scratch so I know exactly what’s in there (I even make my own stock cubes!) I am maybe too over the top.

She couldn’t believe my DD hasn’t even eaten a chicken nugget or a bit of chocolate since birth. And was almost sad she didn't have an advent calendar like she was missing out.

My mum was exactly the same with me growing up. ironically, I grew up overweight as I was snacking in secret whenever I could. And my healthy weight friends were always allowed the chocolate & sweets.

Do you/ did you let your baby eat ‘treats’ ?

Am I being too over the top?

OP posts:
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Daisies12 · 03/12/2023 20:43

Seems like a brag, stop being a martyr. But babies shouldn’t have chocolate and fast food.

TakeMe2Insanity · 03/12/2023 20:45

Theres a middle road.

Nameychango · 03/12/2023 20:48

Hi, your cousins child might be eating a bit too much sugar. Salt and processed food perhaps, depending on amounts and frequency but I am a little concerned about your extreme need to cook and consume everything unprocessed or organic? It does sound a bit extreme. What about if you can't for some reason?

I know there is currently much media hype and scaremongering around UPF and most people could do with eating a bit less of it and increasing Whole Foods, fruit and veg etc like your you give your child however, I don't think it's entirely healthy to be quite so binary about it. Relaxing the boundaries is healthy sometimes as is not judging food as 'good' or 'bad'. It's important to remember food is just food - it's all about balance and nourishment- not obsession.

I would try increasing a variety of food, textures and flavours from now on while eating their current diet.

Look up orthorexia, and be mindful that this is type of thinking about foods may not be helpful and might lead to issues around food going forward?

One last thought, I have 3 kids and I have met a lot of kids over the years - I'm always sad when there is a child who's parent is so stressed about what their child eats at birthday parties or has a long list of what they won't let them have. I remember once at a birthday party I saw a 10 year old have a full on panic attack as they went to Five Guys and he wasn't allowed "any fizzy drink" and all his friends were drinking them.
🙈, poor kid! He was crying and so anxious. I'm not saying this would be your child however we all know the mums who ban McDonald's etc 🤦‍♀️🤣

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User56785 · 03/12/2023 20:48

Change what you are doing if you feel guilty about doing it.

hellsBells246 · 03/12/2023 20:49

I agree with you, op. You are the only one with influence over your dc's food now. Give them the best start in life by feeding them real food, not processed stuff. There will be plenty of time as they get older when they will be aware of and will ask for 'junk' food. No point giving it to them now.

LittleBearPad · 03/12/2023 20:51

You’re feeling guilty. Really?Hmm

RedRobyn2021 · 03/12/2023 20:59

My DD didn't have chocolate until she was past 2, she actually had a dairy allergy and that's why. So it was a lot easier to keep that stuff away.

They're a baby, they don't know any different, IMO your friend is doing herself no favours.

Do you ever listen to the Zoe podcast? What you're doing it much better for your child's microbiome

Doodledeedum · 03/12/2023 21:00

My baby has a little bit of everything
Some days we have ready made food, some days I make food from scratch, she has fruit pouches and actual fruit. Fast food and the like some days.
I let her taste anything I'm eating- including crisps or chocolates... when I say it's finished - she's quite happy to go on her way.
we have a drawer of snacks and they can be asked for ( by my SS) and if it's not near a meal time and they say it's just a snack and they're not 'hungry for a whole meal' they can have some.
They usually stop without being told to ( you know the 'eat something till they feel sick' mode!)

Toddler either eats or doesn't
I never push it. I figure she will eat when she's hungry and if she doesn't eat it stays to the side till she's ready. If she only eats a morsel of food and is done I try and give her some more a few minutes later - if she doesn't want it I leave it ... I want her to judge when she's hungry or not. Don't want to go through the whole 'you just finish your meal' process with either kid.

Interestingly partner and I both grew up in a household where snacks were there for taking and we never took the mick with how much we had. I want the same for the kids
Neither of us are over weight and don't gorge on any 'naughty' foods.

Denimdenimdenim · 03/12/2023 21:00

I would loosen up a little OP. As PP have said, eventually they'll grow up eating whatever they feel like anyway. Or sneaking food which is actually very sad.

A few treats every now and then is fine.

wineoclock90 · 03/12/2023 21:01

Daisies12 · 03/12/2023 20:43

Seems like a brag, stop being a martyr. But babies shouldn’t have chocolate and fast food.

Give over. Its totally fine

OdeToBarney · 03/12/2023 21:38

I think I've rolled my eyes so hard they're currently in the back of my head.

You are going to give your child an unhealthy relationship with food. It's all about balance and not attributing "good" and "bad" to foods. It's just food. Some we eat more often than others.

My DD is 19 months and eats a ton of veg and 2/3 portions of fruit a day (though I try to limit fruit to 2 portions). Her favourite meal is pasta with homemade green sauce (broccoli, spinach and peas) with some kind of protein thrown in and more veg on the side. She loves porridge, nut butters, pulses, avocado etc etc. BUT - today I had to share my mini cheddars with her, and my mum gave her a tiny bit of cake. And she has an advent calendar. The world hasn't fallen in yet.

BurbageBrook · 03/12/2023 21:42

11 month olds don't need pudding or sweet treats etc. Their diet sounds great. When they're older, don't be that parent who won't allow them cake or sweets at a party or a biscuit at playgroup etc. But their diet sounds excellent!

DinaofCloud9 · 03/12/2023 21:44

Oh come on. You obviously want everyone to start slating the other mum. Stop being so transparent.

Katy231 · 03/12/2023 21:46

My kids just eat whatever I eat at home. We all eat the same food. I hardly eat processed foods so they hardly eat processed foods. When we have a treat, we all share it.

So my 10 month old has had chocolate but it's as much chocolate as I want them to have for the rest of his life.

I don't majorly restrict from my toddler too. He gets to have treats on special days like parties and family gatherings. Day to day, everything is home cooked. But we did have a hot chocolate today and I did put lots of cream on top for us all.

theduchessofspork · 03/12/2023 21:49

At 11 months she won’t care, but as she gets older I’d aim for a middle ground

Wolvesart · 03/12/2023 21:50

I think for 11 months you are doing things the right way. No chocolate before age 2 is perfectly normal, although I would not snatch it away if someone else offered it and I’d not get upset about the odd biscuit. But 11 months is a baby so no fast food, no chocs and minimal awareness of the concept of Christmas. As for chicken nuggets, never bought them for a child, never intend to.

Mummymummy89 · 03/12/2023 22:10

What you're doing it much better for your child's microbiome

Actually, at op's dc's age the best thing for her microbiome would still be breastmilk, which op hasn't mentioned.

I really don't see much benefit in, say, home made stock vs low salt stock jelly cubes. There are no nasty ingredients in those. It's very similar stuff.

But home made stock takes literally hours to make. Diminishing returns!

IVFfirsttimer91 · 03/12/2023 22:15

MammaTo · 03/12/2023 18:07

I feel like this is a stealth brag. Look at how well I feed my child compared to this kid living off turkey dinosaurs and microwave meals.

Completely missing the point of this thread but oh my god. I could really go for some Turkey Dinosaurs right now!!!!

Devilsmommy · 03/12/2023 22:24

BadBadDecisions · 03/12/2023 17:08

This is the most embarrassingly transparent humblebrag I've seen on here in a while 😆

🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤣🤣🤣

Thethingswedoforlove · 03/12/2023 22:24

theduchessofspork · 03/12/2023 21:49

At 11 months she won’t care, but as she gets older I’d aim for a middle ground

This

Devilsmommy · 03/12/2023 22:25

Moancup · 03/12/2023 17:14

DS is 16 months. He doesn’t have treats as that’s a ridiculous concept for a child of his age. He does have baby biscuits a couple of times a week. He’s tried dark chocolate and loves it. He’s tried cake and didn’t. He likes processed foods like a greggs sausage roll and tinned spaghetti hoops, but they’re not staples of his diet. Nursery do seem to give him baked beans a lot. He eats fish fingers at least once a week. He also eats a lot of lentils. He doesn’t care for potatoes but will eat celeriac, the weirdo. My priorities have always been calories in and variety and I’m probably a bit to lack on salt.

Glad I'm not the only one whose child loves a Greggs sausage roll. He's 14mo and bloody loves them 😆

Mummymummy89 · 03/12/2023 23:31

e.g processed sausage rolls with carrot & cucumber sticks a standard lunch

I'd be delighted if dd ate this as her standard lunch but she wouldn't touch the carrot and would only nibble at the watery bit of the cucumber.

We have done everything by the book to encourage her to eat veg, offering a variety at every meal, eating together at the table, giving her what we eat, not making a big deal of it... she will basically only eat cheese and apples. Ploughman's lunch for the win.

Op come back to us when your dc is 3yo, things will be very different then and you'll wonder why you bothered.

kneehightoacat · 04/12/2023 07:32

I think you're a bit OTT
Making your own stock cubes?

Your friend is too! That sounds like a shit diet. Why does a baby need McDonalds or an advent calendar ?

The thing is 80:20 ratio clean cooking / processed

The odd freezer dinner is ok once a week

ReallyVeryOverEverything · 04/12/2023 07:46

How is your 'guilt' today OP? 😆

SheIsStuck23 · 04/12/2023 07:50

MissBuffyAnneSummers · 03/12/2023 16:46

Do you really feel guilty or are you just bragging about his wonderful you are in comparison to your cousin?

I’m pretty confident this is what’s really going on…. 😂

Come on OP, tell us something else you do that makes you a better parent than her…. 😂

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