Have 2 teens, eldest 17. Separated from their dad when they were very young due to abuse which has carried on for most of our lives.
Both are well looked after, been taught values how to behave and both loving.
My daughter is a normal teenager, has had trouble in school but over it now. She hates going to her father, sees him very little.
My son has never listened, always been naughty. Showing no respect towards me. More than the usual teen stuff. Is agressive physically, throws rubbish on floor in our home, steals, breaks things, will not do anything at all to help me or contribute.
I am disabled also, have done a pova on myself via social services, they have done nothing.
I have had police involved, they wanted to charge him with gbh, but I didn't want this for my son as I love him so much. Was given a talking to by police as they do.
He has not learnt, and continued with what is domestic abuse.
I always suspected he had 'traits', school refused to do anything, so did gp and cahms. After years of waiting for cahms assessments, I was told they lost his referral and he was now too old for a new referral. I tried to go the private route, my son refused, so did my ex. Social services have also been completely useless. I asked for counceling and also young carers. All been refused by him, or service not available.
Many have said he could be worried about my illness. That's why 'missbehaving'. What he is doing is actually making me sick, and shows no empathy. Has always switched on the I love you mummy to get what he wanted.
I was told by my ex and his family that I was lying and should record him when he behaves like this. However , they just say I'm lying, that I taunt him then record him when he gets angry. And that he is a normal teenager and me horrible for sending him away.
Classic gaslighting behaviour from all.
I have sent him to live with his father this year as the abuse was too bad.
Have been keeping in touch , first cinema, days out etc and odd sleepovers.
The behaviour is not any better, he continues to be aggressive, I should not be having to record on my phone for evidence when trying to wake him for college or work etc incase he beats me up, or one day , worse.
His behaviour is exactly the same as his abusive father.
I have said several times now that not allowed in my house unless shows respect. He keeps turning up when out with friends, or his father refused to go and get him in the middle of the night. His father on many occasions has left him in the middle of nowhere all night, switches phone off and goes drinking, or to bed or even away.
His father does not look after him, his safety, has no idea where he is, no money for food bus etc. No clothes, shoes without holes in. He is always asking me to transfer money.
I have said he should get own flat, that I will support , (there are charities who support teens in own housing up to 25). He won't.
I love him, hate this. But he will actually end up hurting me one day, no, he is, and will kill me or someone else if this continues.
Is nice as pie to some people, will help ex and his family by doing chores and they think he is lovely, but would do nothing for me. Is like he saves up all the nice then lets out the evil on me. This is why I do not believe his behaviour is down to a learning disability like people like to say to guilt me.
I know am being abused. Can anybody advise anything please? Anyone been through similar? I was actually thinking of a court order like in domestic abuse.
But it breaks my heart as I love my boy, and want the best for him
Thankyou