Minimising daily tasks to avoid asd shutdown/meltdown and maintain my level of parenting

[Managingwithlimitations]

My priority is being a good parent, to do this I have to limit other things so I do t get overwhelmed (asd and adhd and a chronic pain condition)

Does anyone else have to do this ? I find it such a juggling act and it’s hard to even organise what i should avoid soon so that o can prioritise my parenting

Some things I have to do / avoid
-no school runs ever
-always get shopping delivered as can’t cope in large shops
-don’t take phone calls unless it’s an emergency -never accept unplanned guests either

Yes. I have a chronic condition and I suspect ASD.

I really have to manage how much I do and when. It fluctuates but when I'm in shutdown it really is the bare minimum.

I just feel like I have to at al costs maintain a high level of parenting to my dc so I have to make so many judgements, sacrifices even to keep that as my top priority and it can be hard and almost draining in itself

Yes I am now medicated for ADHD which helps but have found that asd sensitivity is now higher.

I have avoided inviting kids over for play dates. Had a few now but still don't like to and need planning I don't invite people round. I avoid social events.

The strain to get it right is huge. A massive drain when they were babies especially.

I believe all 3 of my kids are ASD/ ADHD and the guilt when I get overwhelmed and shout and then upset them. I can't control it. :(

It's hard but I believe if you are worried about getting it right your doing your best, that's what my mum says lol

I'm in a similar position (ASD and inattentive adhd with chronic pain) and finding perimenopause mixed in is really hard going and I'm irritable as fuck lately and feel like a shit mum. Meals are the thing I find hardest at the moment . The school run is 5-6 miles walk daily depending on which route we take but walking is my sanity and necessary because I don't drive. All 3dc are ND too although undiagnosed as yet.

Things that suffer are housework and meals. I feed the children but lately I've been too wrapped up in other stuff to look after myself. I am in bed by 9pm and that helps me manage mentally but not much gets done.

I have no solutions, just solidarity.