Chest co-sleeping?

[CeCe2023]

Hi all, I wondered if anyone had any experience of safe chest co sleeping?

My daughter is almost 5 months and won’t sleep anywhere but on me or my husband. I’ve tried everything to get her into her bassinet and have attempted safe Co sleeping but she hates being on the mattress. She likes to sleep belly down on our chests or nothing else!

Until now we’ve done shifts but this is just becoming unattainable and affecting so much. I have seen some guidance on safe chest sleeping online but it still feels like such a risk, but I feel we have no other option?

I try her in her crib multiple times a night and she’ll do a maximum of 30 mins atm then it takes ages to calm her down.

Does anyone have experience? No judgement please!

Look up HappyCosleeper on Instagram, she’s talked a lot about this and how to do it safely. Chest sleeping on mum is biologically quite different to prone sleeping in a cot though. I’ve exclusively coslept with 2 babies but both have been happy to lay with me on the bed in cuddle curl, so not the same as chest sleeping. Please don’t feel guilty, you’re doing nothing wrong, our tiny apes are just doing what’s natural to them, which is clinging to us for safety.

You have multiple options. There is no such thing as safe co sleeping with the baby sleeping on top of you

I always did it when DS was poorly and congested or having a particularly bad night. Make sure you read up on all the safety advice and follow guidance as closely as possible.

To be honest, I did find I was much more cautious with this position and only did it when absolutely necessary. We would cosleep in cuddle curl usually as this felt much safer to me, and I would sleep better too - but safe chest sleeping is better than no sleep or even falling asleep in an unsafe environment as you are too tired.

Thanks @BuffaloCauliflower hers is the guidance I’ve seen! Love her content!

@Pastaf0rbreakfast these are my thoughts,
I’m scared of falling asleep unintentionally and would rather plan and be safe.

@Ihatethenewlook please do let me know these other options because I have been trying everything for the last 5 months and haven’t had more than 4 hours sleep a night whilst my DH holds her in that time!

That must be so hard! I would try to persist with other options and make sure there isn’t some reason she is uncomfortable on her back like reflux. I guess you have tried warming the cot and dummies etc?

Does anyone know if chest co-sleeping is considered safe after 12 months? We’ve had several periods of illness recently where our 16 month old will only sleep on my chest and the sleep deprivation is killing me!

I did that for 2 whole winters to be honest, as DS had reactive airways and it’s the only way either of us would sleep.

I did that with DD for the first 5 ish months. She didn’t sleep otherwise, and so the options were sleep with her on my chest, or be too tired to safely care for her.

She suddenly started doing longer stretches in her cot at about 5 months, and is a decent sleeper now at 7 months.

So I don’t have any real tips, other than to say guidance is guidance, not law. Sometimes it’s just not possible to follow.

It's fine! You're their mum, that's were a small baby is designed to be.
I would probably not let dad do it. A mum is so attuned biologically to the baby, that you will wake if baby moves etc. as long as you're not smoking, drinking etc then it's fine. Especially if you breastfeed.

In fact, a friend of mine was actually advised to do this by midwife on a home visit. Not in the UK. But I was pleasantly surprised to hear a professional, advise something natural and beneficial to mum and baby

Don’t feel bad, if this is the only way you are able to get some sleep yourself.
I Co slept with both my children till age 7 & 5 years, neither of mine once slept in a cot after many fail attempts with my first. I did however sleep in a different bed from my partner and would never allow my partner to co sleep with them.

No judgement here, you have to do what works best for you and it's much better to do it safely than accidentally fall asleep (which I did a lot with my terrible sleeping firstborn).

Cosleepy on Instagram has a pinned post on this and is generally a good source of information and support on cosleeping.

I used to do this for a few hours every evening e.g. 7-12pm but my husband had to sit up next to us on the bed awake to ensure that nothing went wrong. He would usually work on his laptop or watch TV with headphones on. It was the only way that baby and I could get at least a bit of sleep - desperate times!!

Thank you all so much for your comments. I’ve been so conflicted since she was born! It used to be easier as I could be up and down trying her in the cot (sometimes there is a miracle and she sleeps an hour in there) but I’m so exhausted I physically sometimes can’t and so sit up with her, in an endless cycle.

I don’t smoke and EBF, and would never let DH sleep with her as he is a heavier sleeper and doesn’t have the instincts. I’ll sometimes put out a hand to catch her before she moves 😂

I still want to persevere with the cot, but having this as a potential option takes the pressure off a bit!

Doesn’t help we’re dealing with a regression and she’s awake with split nights 2-4 hours a night!

It’s so hard, love her so much and just want to be the best I can be for her 😞

Would your budget allow for something like an owlett sock? Just to put an extra layer of protection if you did decide to cosleep?

@CeCe2023 How did you get on, did your little one ever go down in her cot on the end?

Hey! Haha nope! She would only sleep on me or DH until she was 9 months, then she finally slept next to me and we coslept until she was around 13 months, then transitioned her to a floor bed in her own room! She’s doing well in there and the floor bed is amazing for settling and staying with her on bad nights/when she’s poorly etc!