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When will DD allow dad / my DH to put her to bed?

3 replies

lucieth · 29/11/2023 23:44

DD is nearly 2. In a SAHM, my husband works full time. He's a very loving dad and does his very best to share in parenting and house chores whilst working, but naturally being a SAHM I spend a lot more time with DD than him. They do have a great relationship though - when he gets in from work she runs to the door shouting PAPPIIII (daddy in his language) with hugs and she belly laughs with him like she doesn't with anyone else.

DD absolutely refuses to be put to bed or resettled at night by my DH. It has to be me, otherwise she will cry MUMMMYYYYYY and refuse to go to bed. I can count on my hand the number of times I've been out for bedtime but each time she will cry and bedtime will take 3-4 hours. Once she still won't go to sleep till I come home at 11pm (bedtime normally 7:30pm) and other times he could only put her to bed by doing it in our bed (as opposed to her cot where she normally sleeps) and stay will her in the dark from 7:30 in the bed.

It makes me exhausted as it clearly means he can't help if she wakes at night (feels like every child sleeps through around 1 year old but here we are at 22 months still having 3-4 wakes per night) and if she wakes whilst I'm showering by the time I'm out she's been crying for a while and woken herself up more.

Hes not always home before bedtime from work so can't commit to always doing it more often. Plus it's truly torture for everyone if he can't put her to sleep for 3-4 hours and it feels right for me to step in.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Headband · 29/11/2023 23:47

Can you try putting her to bed together for a while?

lucieth · 29/11/2023 23:47

Just to add, DD is very happy to be left with him in the daytime. She just calmly waves and says 'bye bye mama' when I head out.

OP posts:
olderthanyouthink · 30/11/2023 00:09

DD wouldn't let DP put her to bed but when I was pregnant and dying of exhaustion she didn't have much choice if I passed out first or was just too tired to move. He used to come and show her me sleeping (or pretending to) and then take her to bed or maybe put her to bed next to me then I could get up and leave, she went down quicker for him. She was about 2.5 at the time, she didn't start sleeping though till 2.5-3 either btw.

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