19mo - bedtime routine doesn't work anymore

[gabbro86]

Hi all, I'm a dad to a beautiful 19 months old boy.
We've been doing the same bedtime routine for the past 6+ months:

• Dinner at around 6:30/7
• Stories/playtime
• Upstairs between 7:30 and 8
• Bath, brush teeth, PJ
• Handover to mum (he didn't want to go to sleep with dad...), who'll lie next to him in his toddler bed, until he falls asleep between 8:30 and 9

For the past two weeks, after the handover to mum, he's cried for dad to be in the room as well, which is perfectly fine for me... but that's not the only thing that's changed: while the whole routine from bath to falling asleep used to take no more than 45 minutes, it now lasts 90+!! He's never asleep before 9:30, spending time playing with the pillow, walking around, asking for songs, drinking water (he drank about 400ml one evening), jumping, rolling around the bed, lying on it and kicking... it's quite mad to see! We try to keep interaction and talking to a minimum, but it doesn't seem to change much.

We tried both pushing bedtime forward and back, no luck. Worth noting that there's no big change between weekdays (when he naps at nursery for about 2 hours) and weekends (when he's usually out and about with us and only naps for about 1 hour).

Another thing that changed is that he willingly goes upstairs when we say "time for sleep!", and he actually goes to his bed, closes the door and says "sleep! sleep!" - we tried cutting the routine short and just changing him into his PJ, but it still took a good hour for him to fall asleep.

Anyone else went through this? I know it's probably (hopefully!!) just a phase (18-month regression??), but I still welcome any advice🙂

I would ask nursery not to let him sleep for longer than one hour so he’s more likely to be a more tired in the evening. Can you bring his night time routine forward? Dinner at 5-6 (I appreciate this may be difficult around work), playtime, bath then bedtime routine. Stories in bed and say goodnight and then leave him to it with some sort of illuminated clock or nightlight? Mine had a grow clock which I set for 7am and they weren’t to get out of bed (unless they needed toilet) until then. They are all really good at going to sleep now and staying in bed.
I find running them ragged and encouraging lots of exercise also helps them sleep!

It's a phase, just keep doing your routine, no changes.

The only thing I would say is that it is a terribly late bedtime for a 19mo. Bed by 7pm would help with any silliness caused by tiredness and also you and your wife get an evening!

@FatherJoseFernandez did your kids understand the gro clock at 19 months? Everywhere I've read it says it's good after at least 2 years old... If we leave the room he starts crying desperately, with or without a night light.

@luckbealadytonight he wakes up in the morning around 4 for some water, and then up for the day at 7:30/8. So he does sleep for at least 10 hours at night... He hasn't gone to sleep before 8 since he was 1, no matter how hard we tried.

It sounds like he just isn't tired. I would definitely ask nursery to limit naps to 1hour max, and spend some time running around outdoors before dinner.

18 month regression. Be consistent with your routine. It does pass.

We had a similar regression at the same age. Always another story, we had to be very firm on “only two” as he was pushing it every night. I wouldn’t stay with him until he falls asleep, there may be protests but having mummy around is way too much fun. For mine anyway.

Thanks for all the comments, we'll wait for this (too) to pass.

Btw, he can open doors, so if we leave he cries for a few seconds, then remembers his skill and he's out of the room looking for us 😅

No mine wouldn’t have understood the concept of the grow clock at that age however having it in the room as a nightlight and if you keep explaining as they grow that it’s ok to get out of bed when the sun is on the clock, they’ll eventually catch on. Good luck!