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Parenting

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Original poster

Guilt over childcare...

6 replies

Lilypie · 13/03/2008 12:37

Anyone else have their heart ripped out on a daily basis when they drop off their child to creche / nursery?
My dd is nearly 3 and has always loved her creche but recently I have needed to leave her in a bit more than the normal 5 afternoons a week as I have been busy with work and also had a nasty tummy bug and needed to rest up for a day. I go home crying every time I drop her off after she clings to me as I try to leave and screams for me as I'm walking away.
Am I damaging her in some way by leaving her when she so obviously wants me to be with her? My guilt over this is huge...

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Notyummy · 13/03/2008 12:46

Oh god, this is so hard. I haven't experienced this yet, as dd is younger and has always appeared very happy (been in nursery since 6 months old, 4 days a week 8 - 5, and is now 20 months). She has cried once in this period on being left, but I can't help thinking that we may reach a phase when she changes her mind...

Does your dd always cry? How quickly does she settle? Can you hide somewhere for a while and comfort yourself by checking that she seems happy quickly once you have left? Would another setting help in the long term?

Original poster

Lilypie · 13/03/2008 12:58

She didnt always cry no, she used to love it but I've had to leave her in more often over the last 2 weeks and I think she's really feeling the separation. She seems to go through phases, sometimes weeks will go by and she'll not cry at all but in the last 2 weeks she been worse than ever. I just feel like I should quit work and stay with her all the time but I know thats not the best thing for either of us.

OP posts:

Kindersurpise · 13/03/2008 12:59

Does she cry for a long time when you leave her?

Could you phone nursery and ask how she is about 15 - 20 mins later?

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Original poster

Lilypie · 13/03/2008 13:16

I do ring and they always tell me she's fine only minutes after I leave.
She's been a bit whingier than normal outside creche too, she'll cry at the drop of a hat, it feels to me like attention seeking which just adds to the guilt.

OP posts:

Pinkranger · 13/03/2008 13:22

my ds did this with nursery when he started, and as soon as i was out of sight he seemed fine ( i could see through the window and used to take a sneaky look 5 mins after) - it will get easier, i am also a childminder and one of the children i look after used to do this to there mum, to the point of screaming and thrwing himself on the floor, as soon as mum has gone he stops just like that and sits at the table for breakfast

Kindersurpise · 13/03/2008 13:28

My DS went through a phase of this, took a couple of weeks till he settled down. I would cry all the way home then phone to be told he was fine, playing away happily.

I got DH to take him for a week or so and he settled in again. He would give DH a cheery wave and disappear into the kindergarten.

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