Allergies at nursery

[SundanceLeopard]

Could some of you lovely people offer a heartbroken mum some advice please!?

Mum of an almost 2 year who attends nursery full time - I have been told today that the nursery are changing their dietary policy and can no longer provide my child with food due to him having allergies outside of the 14 main allergens (have previously had no issue). We can bring food in for him but are very limited as has to be nut free and cannot be reheated due to food regulations. Not to mention he's there for lunch and dinner so that's 10 meals a week.

I've now been left with the choice of providing repetitive food due to limited options which may not be very nutritional or pull him out of the nursery where he's made great bonds with the children and staff. I'm feeling like he is being punished for having allergies and to top it all off, no offer of a discount of fees 🫣 heartbroken is an understatement.

Errm what the fuck, that's ridiculous! I'd question why you won't be getting a reduction of fees given the fact they now won't be offering the same bloody service and I'd be seriously questioning why they won't now provide food despite doing so previously it's not very inclusive.

Argh that's very frustrating.

I would suck up the repetitive meals if he's happy there and just strive to get as much variety at home.

I'd be very unimpressed with the lack of a discount especially given they used to be able to cater for him.

Re nuts, are there any children who actually have a nut or peanut allergy? Not reasonable to expect you to restrict his diet unnecessarily (and I say that as the parent of a child with a peanut allergy!).

@YourNameGoesHere I agree, definitely not very inclusive. It's secluding him from everyone else just because they find it easier to restrict which allergens they can cater for. Yet in the change of policy they have said that all beef and pork will be removed from the menu going forward for those with cultural or religious preferences - I wouldn't usually have a problem with this but it's like one rule for one and not for the other

@ColleenDonaghy the problem is the only time he'd be eating at home with us is the weekend so he'd only get variety 2 days a week. Last time I'd checked they didn't have anyone with a nut allergy at the nursery but it's company policy that they remain nut free 🤷‍♀️ it's bad enough that they've been given him weatabix with water because they can't give him almond milk which is the only milk he can have, then they add this on top 🙃

Do they get their meals delivered from an outside caterer? If so, I imagine it's that company that's changed their policy to say they'll no longer be providing meals free from his particular allergy. Not that that makes it less annoying for you, it just might not be the nursery having one rule for one and one rule for another

I'd definitely want a reduction in cost though.

@CrispsandCheeseSandwich Unfortunately not, they moved to in house catering last year. This is definitely a company decision and a cost cutting exercise as they don't want to employee extra resource

That is infuriating. And presumably plenty of children having milk that your child is allergic to! There's no logic to their position at all. I know allergy UK doesn't recommend nut free schools, I wonder what the story is with nurseries.

Could you contact head office?

Overall though it's really disappointing and I would consider moving him. Just not an inclusive attitude.

On the variety thing, we do a dinner after nursery that the kids sometimes eat and sometimes don't, if you changed to a snack at nursery and a meal at home it would probably be fine but I fully understand why you don't want to.

You leave your child in a nursery that feeds him weetabix with water? Sounds bloody grim to me. Food and nutrition is important, so despite the disruption I'd be finding a new nursery if I were you

I agree I would consider moving him. The fact they presumably have various allergens around your child but won't allow him to have the milk is just another example of how they are not inclusive.

They don't sound like the kind of environment I'd want my child in, they obviously prioritise profit over the children in their care.

I would consider moving him, or alternatively send in a simple lunch (sandwich etc), and a snack for nursery dinner time, and then give him dinner at home. We've always given our DDs dinner at home after nursery as nursery tea has always been quite small and given pretty early.

Giving dinner at home may be a good idea but then feel he'll see all the other children around him eating a meal and pudding and feel left out which is what I'm trying to avoid altogether. As much as I hate to say it probably is best to move him, it breaks my heart as he has so many good connections and relationships with all the children and staff. It feels wrong to punish him for something the company has control over.

I'd just move him tbh.Having made the decision, nursery will probably really dig their heels in on this.

We moved our youngest to a new nursery when he was 2 (for logistical reasons) and he settled really quickly.

Can you send a beaker of almond milk for hi weetabix in the morning?

What are the allergens, maybe we can offer some lunchbox suggestions?

Is he allowed a food flask that way he can have hot food without them needing to reheat?

@CyberCritical he has a few which really limits his options. They have said we can take a flask in but not sure that would help much with his allergies: milk, soya, oats, coconut and pea protein.

It's annoying because they've done a real good job of providing meals for him for the past 18 months!

Also had a firm no taking almond milk in for him due them being nut free

Would he eat soups or stews? They'd keep warm in a flask presumably.

Are there any foods from their kitchen he could have? So they do the mash, you send the stew? Probably not with milk I suppose. Could he have the veg from them?

@ColleenDonaghy If they could provide part then that would be perfect but unfortunately they're flat out refusing to cater for him at all now. Otherwise like you say, it would open up so many other options

It's just so awful that they won't cater for him, but they'll restrict his options because of others' allergies (or possibly others' potential allergies!).

Honestly I think you just need to move, the attitude is worse than the logistics.

Which one is out of the allergies they cater for? Is it pea protein? Unfortunately they shove that in every vegan/vegetarian protein substitute thing

@ColleenDonaghy Sadly I think I agree. Its such a shame that we live in a world where people prioritise profit over a child's happiness

@flowerygloves it's the pea protein and the coconut. They had been doing a great job of managing his allergies so I know that it's possible. Just simple corporate greed I believe ☹️

I imagine they are having to cut costs so are having to feed everyone shitty processed pea protein coconut blends that don't resemble food.

I'm sorry you're dealing with this

Are you under the care of the allergy consultants at your local hospital? If so try calling the team and ask to speak to an allergy nurse, they may be able to call the nursery on your behalf and advocate for you.

It does seem very discriminatory to me, esp if they aren't able to reduce your fees accordingly.

@flowerygloves Thank you, I honestly wish it was something just effecting me and not an innocent 2 year old. Cutting costs whilst also putting their fees up every 6 months 🥴

All early years providers are struggling with costs.

Your child is just an obvious victim of it where they refuse to cater for him any longer due to his extensive allergies meaning they have to be more creative in providing him with food.

Oh and the pork and beef thing is cost saving. However they can pretend it goes under a diversity of religion banner.

My own DD's former nursery didn't serve meat at all due to the area it's in there as her childminder did. Her childminder I later found out after 4 years is vegan.

@EasterMummie Discharged from the allergy consultant but still have a dietician so may give that a go, thank you