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Sad to stop breastfeeding

32 replies

Srx1 · 28/11/2023 15:43

Apologies for the long intro but I thought it would be helpful to explain our situation.

My baby turned 1 and I currently breastfeed him mid morning, mid afternoon and then before bed plus I feed him to sleep through the night. I recently started cosleeping with him in the spare room when he wakes up from midnight or later ( if i manage to settle him back in the cot after the first night waking) as I just.couldn’t.do.it.anymore., sometimes he wakes only twice but sometimes he wakes as soon as i put him back down and it just goes on and on).

Me and my husband can’t agree on what to do. He doesn’t like this arrangement and wants to sleep train him and I definitely decided against that. I enjoy cosleeping and I don’t mind feeding him to sleep for now. He is very attached to me and the boob. But I'm worried where would that take us long term.

I decided to start weaning him slowly leaving night feeds last ( dreading stopping that as he won’t be happy) in preparation for nursery ( 2 full days starting in couple of months time, and in hope that it will help him sleep better once he’s off the boob and starts nursery). I know it might not make a difference but I don’t know what to do anymore, I’m tired of all the conflicting information and my husband not agreeing with me is so difficult and sad and I keep questioning myself.

We had a tricky bf journey ( tongue tie and mastitis several times) so I’m happy we got this far but stopping now makes me very emotional 😢 Of course a part of me will enjoy having my body back but I can’t help but be sad about it all ending.

Did anyone have a similar situation?

OP posts:
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Arwen7 · 29/11/2023 08:21

I would personally sleep train which will probably make the night wakings better and stop the need for cosleeping and continue with the breastfeeding as you want to and for the immune and all other benefits (that's what I did with my DD and we still bf). But understand if that's not for you x

Srx1 · 04/12/2023 23:05

Ahh it takes me ages to get a moment to reply 🙃

@Dryshampoofordays @Portporlee nice! Are you sleeping in your marital bed or spare room?

@Tgilaura that sounds good but I am so worried as he gets soooo upset if you just hold him and pat him, my husband went in to comfort him the other night and he just wasn't calming down, kept turning his head towards the door looking for me. I am so worried it will never work for him. He is such a loud crier too. And I know by his cry he won't stop and I have to take over.

@RedRobyn2021 that is amazing, I keep thinking that my baby gets upset if husband tries to comfort him because I have always been doing the bedtimes.

Yeah we keep discussing it and he seems to think based on what he read that there are no negative consequences if you sleep train but I said definitely don't want to do that.
That is so good that she night-weaned herself and everything! I wish mine did that, I am honestly
dreading it, he is so boob obsessed.

@värskekapsas thank you I will look it up!
Yes I decided I will continue BF, thanks everyone! I am not ready to stop and he definitely enjoys it and as everyone said it will be helpful with bugs at nursery. Really hoping he will eventually stop being so obsessed!

@Newbie1011ahh it's good that it worked out for you. Us co-sleeping is ok for now and I definitely get more sleep than before getting up non stop but I am kind of torn. It is the easiest option at the moment but I know my husband isn't happy with this. I also miss my bed and don't want this to impact our relationship and I hope it is just temporary solution, considering all this. But I am dreading night weaning and I kinda know I need to do it for sleep to improve. But I don't know where to start with night weaning so anyone's tips are very welcome! How did you do it @SheIsStuck23?
@Arwen7 I can'ttt :( after learning some stuff about all that and I just know how upset he gets, I can't do it

OP posts:
coverp · 04/12/2023 23:19

Mine was 2 when we night weaned so she was able to understand a little better. But the whole thing was a lot less traumatic than I imagined it would be. I didn't send DH in as I knew she'd be livid and confused. I kept everything the same but just said "milky in the morning" and cuddled her back to sleep. We cut down from feeding on demand to just bedtime and morning, and now just do bedtime. She hated it for 3 nights and then started sleeping through (mostly) having previously been up at least 3-4 times for a comfort feed.

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SheIsStuck23 · 04/12/2023 23:42

@Srx1 - I used a sleep consultant to guide me with the night weaning and self settling and she was fantastic.

Prior to using her my son had no sleep patterns overnight or with naps, he had so little sleep in a 24 hour period and he would only go to sleep if I breastfed him to sleep. He would wake up 3-4 times a night and only settle if I breast fed him again. He was completely unable to self soothe or sleep without a breast feed first. I was exhausted.

With the guidance of the sleep consultant and her HUGE overhaul of his daytime and nighttime routines (including meal times, nap times, bedtime routine and sleeping arrangements) alongside using controlled crying (which was very hard at first) everything was turned around in less than a week.

I went from having the baby I described above to having one who had two set naps a day in his cot, both 1.5 hours long, and sleeping from 7pm - 6am with no wake-ups. He was also able to settle himself off to sleep without needing to be breast fed first, both with his daytime naps and at bedtime.

As an average he was getting an extra 6 hours sleep per 24 hour period than before we’d sleep trained - and six hours extra sleep is a significant amount at that age. He was so much more rested and as a result he was much happier as were me and my husband.

Srx1 · 06/12/2023 21:11

coverp · 04/12/2023 23:19

Mine was 2 when we night weaned so she was able to understand a little better. But the whole thing was a lot less traumatic than I imagined it would be. I didn't send DH in as I knew she'd be livid and confused. I kept everything the same but just said "milky in the morning" and cuddled her back to sleep. We cut down from feeding on demand to just bedtime and morning, and now just do bedtime. She hated it for 3 nights and then started sleeping through (mostly) having previously been up at least 3-4 times for a comfort feed.

Ahh this sounds great.. I wish I could do it like that - I feel like he will not like stopping so it would be easier to just explain it to him haha

OP posts:
Srx1 · 06/12/2023 21:13

@SheIsStuck23 Wow that sounds intense! Great results though. Did the sleep consultant advise controlled crying?

OP posts:
SheIsStuck23 · 06/12/2023 23:37

Srx1 · 06/12/2023 21:13

@SheIsStuck23 Wow that sounds intense! Great results though. Did the sleep consultant advise controlled crying?

During our first consultation she spoke to me about the 5 different methods of sleep training she specialised in and asked me which one I wanted to do.

I chose controlled crying because I needed quick results whereas the other methods although more gentle could take weeks/months to actually see an improvement.

With controlled crying we did intervals of 2, 4, 6 and 8 minutes with 8 minutes being the longest he was left for.

She warned me that emotionally it would be very hard so she advised that before we started doing the training we write a list of all the reasons why we were taking that approach. She said that anytime I felt myself wavering during the crying then I should read back the list to myself to keep me on track and remind me why we had got to this point:

I was exhausted from having so little sleep. I was having maybe 3-4 hours broken sleep every night and after 9 months of it I was just broken.

My son was exhausted from how little sleep he was getting and I could see how it was affecting his temperament.

I have a chronic health condition that is triggered by sleep deprivation, and triggering my condition could lead to serious consequences.

I was due to return to work as a nurse and there was no way I could do 13.5 hour shifts on 3-4 hours of broken sleep a night. Including driving up and down the motorway to get to work and back.

My life felt very bleak because it all felt so endless. I was starting to get frustrated with my son, I would dread the days and dread the nights. I would spend some days crying because I was so tired and because I didn’t know what to do. I was worried it was affecting my feelings towards my son.

I was worried that my marriage was in jeopardy because the lack of sleep was affecting us as individuals as well as impacting our relationship. It felt like we argued all the time and it was because we were just so tired and every day and night was like Ground Hog Day for us.

*

I’m glad she told me to write the list as it was much needed….and I would just read it over and over again during the minutes that I was away from him whilst he was upset.

When we went into him we wouldn’t make eye contact and would just lie him back down in his cot and say, “It’s okay sweetheart, it’s bedtime now,” (or words to that effect) and then leave the room.

It was hard but I knew it was just habit and a habit we had to break before I completely burnt out or before my marriage fell apart.

The first night it took him about 50 minutes before he fell asleep, the second night was about 30 minutes, the third night was about 15-20 minutes and then from night 4 onwards he just lay down and went straight to sleep within 5-10 minutes with no upset at all.

If he woke in the night we would treat it in the same manner as we did when we put him to bed: minimal interaction, lie him back down and go in at intervals of 2/4/6/8 minutes as required. The first three nights he did have wake-ups but they only lasted maybe 10 minutes, whereas before I would have got him up and breast feed him and then go through the rigmarole of trying to re-settle him only for him to wake up again an hour later. So the wake-ups went from being 1+ hours long to about ten minutes.

The daytime naps were what took a little longer to address as he was so used to falling asleep in my arms at the breast and me then just sitting there for however many hours it took for him to wake up, so being placed in a cot when awake and without a nipple in his mouth was not something he was happy about. But within a week he was self-settling and napping in his cot quite happily.

So yes, it was a challenging week but the outcome was exactly what was needed.

As well as sleep being important for adults, it’s is also very important for babies in terms of their development so it helped me to think about that aspect too. It’s not just the adults who benefit from getting more sleep.

Like I said, my son was getting long blocks of uninterrupted sleep which is so important, and it meant he was having an extra 6 hours sleep per 24 hour period compared to what he was getting prior to the training which is a significant amount of added sleep for an infant of that age.

I used to think I would never do any sleep training but things just couldn’t go on and with the guidance and reassurance of the sleep consultant it was all done with such accuracy (due to the fixed changes in his routines and her fixed rules about managing bedtimes) which is what made the whole process so much easier.

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