Ex Partner Struggles

[worrieddad97]

Hello everyone,

Just looking for some advice really..

I currently own a property with my ex partner whom I share two children with 3 & 5. I am unable to have the children overnight as I have moved back into my mum and dads home which isnt adequate for the children to stay overnight due to my daughter being allergic to her dogs. I have lived with my mum for 2 years now having the children 3 nights a week. I would love to have my own house and have them 50/50 but she will not sell the house or buy me out. I personally think she is not interested in resolving the house situation as due to the current circumstances she doesn't have to work as my child maintenance and mortgage payment pretty much covers everything. I have even agreed for her to take more equity than me and she still will not budge. I'm loosing my sanity because of this, I am missing milestones of my children's life because my ex partner is money oriented. I have tried everything.

Do you think I would stand a chance in court?

It's not that I am broke, I earn £2000 a month however the mortgage, child maintenance and my ex partner asking me for more money every week, rent at my parents house and the price of fuel at the moment leaves me with barely anything. Therefore, I am unable to rent anywhere on top of a mortgage. It's been this way for just over 2 years now. All I want is for the house to be sold and us both move forward financially more stable and the children being able to stay overnight with us both.

Oh, I missed that you're still paying the mortgage.

Yes, you need to get to court immediately. I'm not sure exactly how this would/should work but to my mind, she should be paying rent for your share of the house. ie you shouldn't be paying the mortgage AND CMS. I might be wrong.

Go to court. Do it as soon as possible. And get this sorted so that you are paying the right amount and have the equity you need.

Yes and get a better solicitor too !

OP this article looks relevant to you butI dont think any court would reasonably expect you to live in poverty dependent on your parents giving you a roof over your head. So I think you are in a strong position.
://www.london-law.co.uk/cohabitees-and-forcing-a-sale-when-children-are-involved/

Hi everyone, is it possible for court to defer my request for house sale until the children reach 18?

This is known as a Mesher order and is relatively uncommon now, and wouldn't really be necessary given the circumstances you describe. You're going to need to move this situation on, or you will still be here with pennies left at the end of the month when the kids are 21, because it suits your ex partner very well.

The court can order a forced sale, and you will be able to get a Child Arrangement Order. You can do this yourself, you don't technically need a solicitor but you will need to dedicate yourself to equipping yourself with the facts and learning about the process.

Email her one more time and offer her what you're willing to settle on out of court from the proceeds, ie 70/30 if the house is on the market by xx date, and if you don't get her agreement you'll go the court route, where it would likely be a straightforward 50/50 as you're not married. She can laugh all she wants but there's only one way out of this for you, and she can't sit tight unless you let her.

It’s possible but unlikely unless your children have significant additional needs.
Most likely you will get a 50/50 split of the equity so you can both house yourselves.

I am happy to split the equity 70/30 regardless of whether court agree 50/50.That is how much I want this resolving. Will the court take this into consideration? Thank you.

Yes, if you say you want 70/30 then they aren’t going to force you to take 50. I doubt it will change the rest though so I agree with above. Offer her 70/30 if agreed by such a date otherwise you will go 50/50 as you will have to pay for solicitor/court. Stop letting her laugh at you, her doing so has bought her 2years so her method has been successful.

She has agreed 70/30 however she she won't agree to sell the house yet or buy me out YET. She would have 49k with 70/30 split and I would have 20k. Would the court agree that is sufficient funds?

She will carry this on for as long as I let her, I know that. She has no intentions of resolving this as for her this is very comfortable. Thank you again for all your help everyone 👍🏼

My partner is in the exact same position. Pays half the mortgage plus his maintenance plus all the extra money she demands each month it’s over half of his monthly wage for the last four years. He moved back in with his mom which is 30 miles away from the kids and not suitable accommodation to set up agreed contact. He works so much overtime to cover what he gives to her and to try and save for a place of his own - buying a second property means the higher rate stamp duty plus he needs a bigger deposit as the banks won’t lend him as much because he technically already owns a house.
He could rent somewhere but he would have to work just as much overtime to afford it as what he has left out of his substantive wage wouldn’t cover it - this just defeats the whole point as he would be working so couldn’t see his kids anyway.
She demands more and more, laughing at him same as your ex, making threats, false allegations and generally makes his life a misery.
Seems to think that my small rented flat is a suitable option for her kids to go on weekends whilst she takes all his money.
She refuses to work full time even though kids are at school every day so she can take on the house herself and let him come off the mortgage. He’s offered to buy her out and like you made a very generous offer which was refused. She won’t buy him out. She won’t sell.
Unfortunately sounds like both of these women are very bitter and would rather sponge off you guys than make better choices that benefit the children all round.
The system seems so unfair but we have decided to go to court early next year, it’s a scary thought and completely understand where you’re coming from, but even if they do side with her it will give you some closure, that’s what we have told ourselves anyway!

Not really the point of the thread, but you could try giving her an anti allergy tablet. I'm allergic to a lot of different animals and it certainly helps me.