How to wean a boob obsessed toddler?

[MummyMumMom]

I’m not looking to wean right now but I’d like to have stopped breastfeeding by the time my toddler is 2ish so I’d like to work towards gradually reducing so that it’s as gentle as possible. He’s currently 16 months old. But he is boob obsessed.

We’ve already night weaned as he was waking hourly for boob (now sleeping through 🙌🏻). It went better than I thought it would. But during the day, if I ever say no to boob he has a complete meltdown (the only reason I say no is if it’s too close to a meal time as he doesn’t eat otherwise. Very fussy eater). He has a complete meltdown before the first feed of the day too, as well as his post-nursery feed. I feel like I need to stop his post nursery feed though as he barely eats all day at nursery, then has a breastfeed when he gets home, then won’t eat any dinner as there’s not enough time between him getting home and going to bed. But I can’t see how this is going to be possible??? I try to distract, which can work for a bit, but he doesn’t ever fully forget about it and he’ll quickly ask again.

How do you gradually wean a boob obsessed toddler??

Hi, I don’t have any advice but I’m in the same boat! But my DS is 22 months.

Can I ask what approach you used to night wean? Mine is waking every hour and I can’t cope with it anymore. I’d be interested if you managed to do it gently so it wasn’t too traumatic?

Can you meet him with a snack after nursery? If he isn't eating at nursery, then he will be very hungry. Some fruit and cheese or something he would be happy to eat and that you don't mind if he eats less of dinner for iyswim? You could let him eat it on the way home (if you are in buggy) or give it to him with a cuddle in the car before he goes in his car seat.

Then when he has eaten, you can say "I'm sorry, there's no milk until bedtime today. Let's do dinner and bath first". First week will be hard, but then he will get into a rhythm.

Same boat OP, with 14 month old. She just won't stop if she wants it, she just keeps trying to sit on my lap and lay back over and over again, very rare to be able to distract her🙈

So far she's never accepted any other food or drink as a substitute once she's started trying to get milk, though she eats well outside of this.

Go away for a mini break and leave him with your partner. Your milk will dry up and he will have got used to a different routine.

@Dancingamaryllis I don’t think any form of night weaning will be completely gentle/not involve some tears. But he took to it quite quickly. Our starting point was boob every hour so I didn’t go cold turkey. I started off with only feeding twice a night and only between 11pm-5am (I knew he’d fine with this as he’d done this consistently before everything went tits up due to illnesses). Any wake ups before that, my DH would go in and sit next the cot stroking his back, shushing etc. until he went back to sleep. He was obviously very upset at first but within a couple of days, he totally accepted my DH going in to soothe. When I chose to feed, I made sure to keep the light on and made sure he stayed awake so that he went back into the cot awake. My DH then came back in and soothed him to sleep in the cot. I then reduced to 1 feed, then no feeds. Eventually, my DH needed to help him less and less. He only needed to shush him from the doorway. We never left him alone though. It took about 1.5 weeks for him to sleep through for the first time in his life. Now if he wakes in the night, my DH still goes in to soothe.

@ChatBFP A snack on the way home is a good idea to try, thanks. I’ll see if it helps! I think a lot of it is comfort as well though as sometimes if I say no to boob before a meal, he’ll immediately ask for it after eating so he definitely doesn’t just associate boob with hunger!

@MummyMumMom is that Jay Gordon method?

I need mine night weaned too but I am dreading it

@Srx1 It’s not the exact Jay Gordon method but there are some similarities. But it’s what worked for us. We’re now dealing with 5-5.30am wake ups though 😩

Agree with the going away and getting partner to deal. I got sepsis when my child was 16 months old and my husband had to deal with all the wakings and she'd stopped asking for it when I got discharged from hospital after 3 days. However, milk won't dry up as I'm afraid I'm still lactating 6 months later! Urgh

Agree with @boudiccathecat. Just go away for the weekend and leave your partner to deal with it. Then be militant when you return that you don't restart. From what I've read I don't think many people have much success with the gradual reduction approach by this age. Personally I'd probably wean now rather than wait but obviously up to you. There is no real reason to continue beyond 12 months unless you want to and it doesn't sound like it's a particularly positive experience for you or him anymore. Might be better to cut your losses with it and move on.

I put plasters on my nipples and told DD my boobs were broken 😅