Ex is a nightmare to co parent with!

[Omaze21]

Me and my partner split up a year and a half ago due to him being a compulsive liar, gambler etc etc.
since the split he takes ds a couple of nights a week.
I feel so helpless though, I don’t think he’s looking after himself at all. (Admitted to taking coke for a whole month) I know he still does when he drinks.
and now he just looks so rough when he’s collecting ds, like he’s been up all night.
he is constantly late. And on numerous occasions his phone will be off and he will be very late in collecting ds. Mostly when I’m working.
a few times I’ve had to take ds to his myself only to wake him up by knocking the door. ( one time it was 5pm!!)

he takes ds into nursery late everytime, and has kept him off because he couldn’t be bothered taking him down.

at the weekend the same thing, was to be at mines between 11-12 I actually had to go into work early so tried calling etc same thing phone off. So I had to take ds round at 1135 and lo and behold I’d woken him up. I could see his flat was a tip and he looked like he’d been up all night. I called his sis upset to ask if she could pop round d to see for herself what I mean. And instead she phoned him told him I phoned and then I was subjected to hours of abusive txts from him.
she now doesn’t want to speak to me again or be involved.

im just so sad about it all. I want him to be a good dad but I feel my son would just be cooped up all weekend while he’s hungover. Most weekends. The lateness is so bad and in general I just don’t think he’s doing well.

has anyone got any advice?!

I have been here and I'm telling you that you should not let your son go.
You can not make his father be a decent parent. You can not make his sister/family see what is happening. They will protect him.
You can't change any of that, all you can control is looking after and protecting your son. That is your job as their mother.
Doesn't matter about the arrangements or work etc you need to plan to have your children all the time until he can prove he is safe to have them.
Contact ss for advice - they will expect you to be protective .

Call social services and get them involved. Will really help you in the long term especially if he applies for custody. My ex has drink and drug problems. He can only see the kids unsupervised when he has clear drug and breathalyser tests, otherwise he has to be supervised at a centre. All agreed with SS. He can’t have them when being up all night or hangover either, these are also unfit states to look after a child (for people with addiction problems, not your usual parent who might have a mild hangover a few times a year). You need to stop sending your child as it will look like you are unfit if you knowingly send them. Unfair I know but you would also be trouble.