10mo won't sleep in cot

calorcalorcalor · 2023-11-27T14:05:48+00:00

My 10 month old has always been a relatively good sleeper but all of a sudden refuses to sleep in his cot. He has been ill, teething, growth spurt etc but I don't how to help him fall asleep (and stay asleep - he's been waking up every 20 minutes at night!!) any suggestions????

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DuploTrain · 27/11/2023 14:20

My DS could only stay asleep for long periods once he’d learnt to fall asleep by himself (he used to wake up every 40 mins all night).

There’s lots of ways to do it - we did Ferber (highly recommend the book) and it was life changing overnight.

What that meant for us in practice was singing a song/ settling DS in the cot and then leaving the room. If he cried I’d go back after 1 minute, comfort, re-settle and then leave. Next time it would be after 2 minutes. You can keep the intervals short, but they have to have a chance to settle by themselves. If he sounded like he was settling I wouldn’t go in. It took two nights of crying (20 mins in total on the first night in 2-5 minute intervals. Second night 10 mins total). Third night and ever since he goes to sleep within seconds with no crying. And stays asleep! He’s 2.5 now.

Other methods are pick up / put down, gradual retreat etc. But they all have the same end goal - to get the baby to fall asleep in the conditions that they will stay in all night (dark, quiet and alone).

Before I did Ferber I’d tried sitting next to the cot and comforting until he fell asleep but it just made him more upset that I was there but not rocking him to sleep. So even though I could feel less guilty because I was “there”, it was actually distressing him more.

Original poster

calorcalorcalor · 27/11/2023 21:17

DuploTrain · 27/11/2023 14:20

My DS could only stay asleep for long periods once he’d learnt to fall asleep by himself (he used to wake up every 40 mins all night).

There’s lots of ways to do it - we did Ferber (highly recommend the book) and it was life changing overnight.

What that meant for us in practice was singing a song/ settling DS in the cot and then leaving the room. If he cried I’d go back after 1 minute, comfort, re-settle and then leave. Next time it would be after 2 minutes. You can keep the intervals short, but they have to have a chance to settle by themselves. If he sounded like he was settling I wouldn’t go in. It took two nights of crying (20 mins in total on the first night in 2-5 minute intervals. Second night 10 mins total). Third night and ever since he goes to sleep within seconds with no crying. And stays asleep! He’s 2.5 now.

Other methods are pick up / put down, gradual retreat etc. But they all have the same end goal - to get the baby to fall asleep in the conditions that they will stay in all night (dark, quiet and alone).

Before I did Ferber I’d tried sitting next to the cot and comforting until he fell asleep but it just made him more upset that I was there but not rocking him to sleep. So even though I could feel less guilty because I was “there”, it was actually distressing him more.

Thanks for your advice and I'm glad the Ferber method worked so quickly for you, that's amazing! Did your baby sit up or stand up in the cot? I'm worried if I leave mine for even 2 minutes he will try to stand up and hurt himself.

OP posts:

DuploTrain · 27/11/2023 21:29

He was 6 months when we did it, so no, not at first. But once he could stand up, if he woke up in the night he would stand up still half asleep. He would just lie back down and go back to sleep. Or if he cried I would go and re-settle him.

Have you got a video monitor so you can see what he’s doing?

At the end of the day though, if you do go down the self settling route he’ll have to figure it out himself. I don’t think he could really hurt himself much, and obviously you’d go in if he did bump his head or something.