Party invitation mix up - advice please!

[Poppy20871]

Hi 👋. This is the first time I’ve posted on mums net. Apologies if I haven’t posted in the correct place.

I’m a bit of a worrier and probably worrying too much about this but would appreciate some advice please.

My DD received a party invite which I’m more than certain was given to her in error. I queried with her Mum who said ‘oh no it’s fine, she’s invited’ as well as the other child I thought it was for. So all good. However, the child whose party it is now keeps saying to my DD at school, that the invite wasn’t for her 😔 she doesn’t like her, and will be cross if she comes to her party 😞. So this was definitely a mistake and the mum must have panicked and said yes she can come. I’m now worrying about this child upsetting my DD, I don’t want to take them. What would you do? Would you mention this to the child’s Mum? This child did come to my daughter’s birthday a couple of months ago and they played fine. So I’m confused.

Thank you in advance for any advice x

I would rescind the acceptance of the invite. I would tell the mother why though, nicely just say that the party girl has said she doesn’t want your dd there and you feel it’s best that on this occasion you decline the invite. I would send a little gift though (but that could be me just wanting to take the moral high ground…!)

I agree with the message above but not the gift!

Thank you so much for your reply, much appreciated! I was also in two minds about the gift. Thank you xx

Many thanks for taking the time to reply 🙂 xx

Why would anyone suggest giving a gift to the child who is being nasty/bullying your child ??

what does your DD want to do. Does she want to go to her party with her friends or does she want to avoid it. Either way tell the mum about the comments so she can have a word with her child.

As above I'd decline, no gift and I'd plan something nice to do with DD during that time.

Thank you for your reply. She said the other night she doesn’t want to go now. However I know she’ll probably change her mind. I’m in two minds to take her to show the other child that by saying this and that they won’t get their own way. But on the other hand they are obviously very unkind and really shouldn’t go and get a present etc, and also the worry of them saying it to her at the party xx

Thank you x

Don't go.

Text the mum saying hi, dd was told that the party invite wasn't for her and she was asked not to come so we won't be able to make it.

Have a fun day out and do not buy them a gift

Don’t use this to teach the other child a lesson. Use it to teach your child a lesson - she doesn’t have to go to a party where she will be made to feel unwelcome.

great lesson for her. This girl is being mean to her and you are 100% on her side. The party won’t be fun for your daughter with a bratty host. Do something fun with her instead. I think this calls for build a bear.

Don't go but definitely tell the mum why every last word! I would be absolutely mortified if my child had said something like this but would 100 percent want to know

Your poor daughter, kids can be cruel x

I'm assuming these kids are pretty young? So I wouldn't take it to heart, perhaps there was a genuine mix up and now the girl is annoyed that she has to invite your DD. If she's 5 then that's completely understandable and you can't expect her to follow social etiquette. I would rescind the invite but don't make it awkward, they might be best friends in a few months.

Thank you! You’re absolutely right, makes perfect sense! Absolute brat for sure and she’ll have a much better time doing something fun with me 😀 thank you xx

Many thanks for your reply. Yeh they are just all turning 6 so pretty young and not understanding social rules fully yet. And like you say we don’t know the full context xx

Thank you so much for your reply! Lord I know I’d be absolutely mortified too 🙀. They definitely need pulling up on it xx