Help me please

[NAB3wishesfor2008]

DS1 has hit DD so hard she has what looks like a black eye coming next to her eye. There is also what looks like a small bit where the skin has broken.

I have sent him to sit on the chair and he is refusing to stay there. Has back chatted his Dad and is encouraging his little brother to do things for him.

He will not do as he is told.

DD says he hit her first, he says she hit him. I believe DD from DS1's manner.

He is telling DS2 to not do as I said and DS1 will not do as he is told.

I am utterly pissed off.

How old are they both?

God NAB - I am sorry. He really is pushing all the buttons isn't he.

I'd prob have slapped him by now. Not good advice I know.

Right - VERY firm, stern strict voice. He sits on the stairs/chair whatever - he gets off you move him back. You tell him now what the consequences are. Doesn't matter if she hit him first - he knows enough not to hit back. You need to SHOUT. I find it works for DS although to be fair he is a good boy.

Is DH still there?

Hi NAB. I'm sorry I have no advice, but I wanted to give you a . Remember he is only testing you because he knows how much you love him.
You're a dead good mum and I know you'll get there (even though it seems like ages at the moment).

DS1 is nearly 7

DD is 4

poor ypu, can sympathise. Taking lots of deep breaths this end for you. Do you have to take him to school or does he go himself?

If you normally shout then try whispering, sometimes being really calm shocks them into behaving and vice versa.

We're usually very calm with dc's so when we shout then they know we really mean it.

In this situation I would take something off him and make him apologise to dd. Later i would talk to him and explain why you are disapointed with his behaviour and how it's wrong to hurt his sister and how she feels etc he is old enough to understand why he shouldn't be doing it as well as consequences for his actions and apologising.

Have to leave for school now

Will check back later.

are you feeling any better, NAB?

I phoned MIL and read the OP to her. She spoke to him telling him he was the older brother and it was up to him to look after the others. She also said to apologise which he did.

Her idea was to tell him if he didn't stay on the chair I would have to tell his teacher what he had done to his sister. This worked a treat! After their behaviour in the car yesterday we are walking to school whenever possible and on the way he asked if I would tell his teacher. I said I would decide once there. He said I wasn't allowed in the classroom. I told him this was so serious that I was. I wouldn't have told her but it worked!!

DH went about 7.35 and I have to take them to school.

Have done the food shop, coped when DS2 threw a mega tantrum and once he has gone to bed I am going to do some jobs, eat some lunch and chill on here.

Thanks all for listening.

I will enjoy my 3 3/4hour before it kicks off again.

The main problem is his answer for everything. When I said get ready for school "You said I had to stay on the chair" etc etc

Sorry I have no magic wand either.

I get the answer for everything, too. Entering ino a big discussion seems to prolong it, so I try and tell (in my case dd2) what I need her to do, and what the consequence will be if she doesn't. eg You need to put your coat on now, or you will be walking to school without it".
Sometimes it works, but it does help that she knows I will follow through on the consequence.

Easy when everything else is going ok, but not when I'm disratced by the others.

Sorry NAB, I have no experience of children this age so can't help. Parenting is so complicated because it just keeps changing. Sounds like you're on top of things now though.

Take care.

Great advice from MIL.
It's a lovely change from all the MIL from L threads we see on her.

on here I mean

I have trouble thinking of consequences at times so that doesn't help.

Have picked up DD. She has a swollen eye which is blue so will no doubt become a full on bruise.

poor dd. have you got some arnica to put on it? it really works a treat. x

I thought of that this morning but was worried she would rub it and get the cream in her eye.

could you get hold of the tablets? they work well too.

I don't think she would take them. I'll see how she is tmw.

have you tried them, though? They're tiny and are quite sweet, so she may take them.

Will look next time I go shopping, thanks.

Won't it be too long after the event though?

depends how long before you get them, if in next couple of days I'd say they'd still be worth using if its really badly bruised. Did you have a better evening btw?