Night time toilet training

[PullUpPrince]

My son is 4.5 and he’s not made any progress with being dry overnight since he potty trained at around 2 years 4 months. He still wakes up with a really heavy, full pull up and he’s starting to push back on us encouraging him to get out of them.

If he comes downstairs in a pull up in the morning or if he’s got out of bed in the evening he will wee in his pull up when he’s awake and conscious - he doesn’t have accidents during the day so I do think this is a choice. I make an effort to take them off and he argues about it!

Several times we have decided this is the week and set about waking him in the night to use the toilet, but we just don’t make any progress. Even when he uses the toilet twice in the night he’ll still go on to wet the bed.

My youngest is 2 years 4 months and training and he’s waking up to use the potty and has been dry 5 nights out of 7!

The children I know who are dry (and most are) have all just become dry, rather than been “trained.”

Any advice? I have read on the NHS that most children are dry at 5 and we are nowhere near.

Exactly the same here, same age for potty training same age now! I thought it was something they can’t control (overnight - weeing in a nappy while awake can be solved by not putting on til the second he goes the bed and removing it as soon as he’s up?) and while most may be dry by 5 I thought anything up til 7 is normal to still be wet at night. So I’ve done nothing to train mine as I thought it was hormonal.

My friends son day trained at under 2 and was dry at night weeks later. My nephew on the other hand is almost 5 and very much still in night nappies like my daughter. I think there’s huge variation in this.

Someone with more experience will be along soon hopefully as I don't have any helpful advice, but I heard that night time dryness is mostly down to hormones and it's not something that can be controlled.

@modgepodge apologies I've realised you mentioned that it is hormonal already (I haven't had my coffee yet)!

It's hormonal, you can't night train. Its not considered an issue until they are 7.

I think the only tweak you can do now is as soon as he gets up in the morning to switch straight to underpants. But thats all I would do. It's hormonal I don't think you can train them to wake up when they need a wee they just develop that by themselves. Don't feel bad about him being in a pull up as long as he's only in it literally for being in bed.

Thanks - I have heard it’s hormonal too but also read “oh crap” potty training and she says night time should be done with daytime. I was heavily pregnant/had a new born when he trained and so I tackled daytime in isolation.

I do try and put his pull up on last minute - he’s a bugger for sneaking back downstairs. My point is he choses to use his pull up too. Which is really frustrating.

It's a developmental thing and, as pp say, related to hormone levels. There is a hormone that suppresses the production of urine when we sleep. Different kids start producing he hormone at different ages. Training doesn't really work because they are asleep and not aware of what they are doing.

My dd was not dry at night until age 6. She went from having a wet pull up most nights to being dry every night in just a few weeks. There is nothing wrong with your ds, you just need to wait.

@Riva5784 and others who have said the same. Thank you. I have been worried as all his friends are dry. Especially now DS2 is dry!

Our 3 year old is daytime potty trained but wears pull ups at nights. The odd time we have forgotten or she has taken it off without us knowing she has had an accident. I also have two older children 9 and 7 - 9 year old was dry at about 4 through the night happened pretty much overnight and she just didn't need to have a pull up. 7 year old is dry however will still have the occasional accident if she's staying over somewhere unusual or forgets to go to the bathroom before bed ( this is super rare now though usually only at her grandparents where it's not her normal routine ) 7 year old had pull ups until she was 6 - tried a lot to help but it definitely is just a case of when they are ready I think, like others have said it's a hormonal issue. With my 3 year old we will just wait until the pull ups are drier and then risk her going to bed without one. I don't think waking them and getting them to go when they are just not ready is going to help, tbh just makes you and child tired and has no benefit!

Also I was also super worried with my 2nd daughter , because her sisters happened overnight and didn't require any help from us and she was relatively young I thought we were doing something wrong or that she had some sort of undiagnosed medical condition at one point! But don't worry it's perfectly normal and it's just dependant on their development, literally nothing we can do to progress it ! Just make sure you get some of those waterproof sheets to put on top once they are drier as I found with a child that learns later they are more prone to the odd accident! But don't worry and don't compare , each child is different 😊

I bribed each of mine once I thought they understood the ask. One in particular would be dry all night then fill their nappy with wee when they woke up, choosing to lie in instead of going to the bathroom.

I told them if they were dry for ten nights in a row I would buy them a toy - Lego/playmobil/whatever. Both managed it within two weeks.

This is the issue with him using his pull up when he’s awake - i don’t necessarily know what is during his sleep and what is when he’s awake. This is a good idea. Thank you.

You can't train, bribe or threaten. It won't work.

He needs to produce a hormone that wakes him up when he needs a wee. No hormone and he just won't wake up up.

GP won't be concerned until age 7/8.

Don't worry it will happen. Both of my children were toilets trained by age 2.5. One was dry at night within 2 weeks. The other not until age 5.5.

I'm a Beaver leader and when we do sleepovers and camping usually find about quite a few kids need pull ups overnight at age 6 and one or two at age seven.

My oldest was night dry at 4
My middle at 2
and youngest literally on his 5th birthday stopped weeing in pull-up and wakes for wee at night.
Take the pull up off as soon as he wakes to stop him consciously using it.
They all do it in their own time xx

My son is 5 and still not dry at night. He does get up to use the toilet at night before he's fallen asleep but his pull up will still be extremely heavy in the mornings. I take it off as soon as he gets up.

The health visitor said not to worry about it at all. I think children are 7 before it would be considered a concern.

As a TA we have had children in Yr5/6 needing night pants on residential trips and it was always managed discreetly without other children becoming aware , some children have medical issues , some sleep so deeply they wet themselves , maybe ask school for support too or health visitor .

Thanks. I spoke to the HV and she said wait and speak to the school nurse. I think she wasn’t interested if I’m honest. I’ve done the things she suggested. She advised against lifting him in the night. She also said it might be because he’s a deep sleeper.

Im going to give it another 6m and then try the GP.

My older two were both 6. One started to finally get dry nappies so we tried taking them off (including taking them for an extra wee around 10 for the first few weeks) and she was fine. My middle one had very full nappies and no signs anything had changed but asked to try without them, so we did the same as above and he was dry. So if we’d waited for a dry nappy as the sign from him I don’t know how long it would have been. We had tried earlier on with my eldest, around 4.5/5 probably, and she slept through wetting the bed. So she definitely wasn’t ready compared to when we tried when she was 6. In contrast my youngest was dry from the first day we daytime potty trained him at 2 through no effort or encouragement on my part. Just one of those things. In short, I wouldn’t worry yet. But give it a try every so often and lifting them for the first few weeks seems to work for many kids.

I’d put him to bed with no pull up on then when I went to bed about 10 I’d put him on the potty to wee he’ll be half asleep! Then put a pull up in and hopefully he’ll wake dry!

My son is 6 on Friday and he's only just started being dry overnight. It's hormonal initially, they don't start getting dry until the right hormones are developing. After a certain age it can become habit/laziness or he just can't help it. 4 is nothing, keep him in the pull ups and don't pressure him. At his age, he can't help it.

We did that for 8 weeks with no success. Just 8 weeks of wet sheets. Some nights he wet the bed twice.

Thank you. We did a long stint of just trying hoping it would click but it was hell on earth as he just kept wetting the bed. I did this post in November so maybe it’s time to try again.

My youngest is 2.5 and trained at 2 - he was the same as yours and was dry from the start and remains so. Had a babysitter recently who looked confused when I said the two year old is in pants at night but the 5 year old isn’t…