Is this legal for the school to only send one parent to court?

[Mystical1981]

Hi I need advice because I'm fuming right now. My daughter (13) has not been to school for over a year she is a self harmer has major anxieties around school we are with cahms and just started having 1-1 sessions for this (been on waiting list for over 2 years) the school have been threatening me with a fine for a while but because I communicate with the school everyday and they can see that I try to get my daughter into school everyday they threaten it but they put the fine on hold because they saw I was trying and how much it has affected my life. I have lost my job over this I have had lots of breakdowns my mum has given up her life to try and help me and my daughter everyday. Everyday I am encouraging my daughter to go to school we have had many arguments over it but this makes her self harm more. She also went through a spell of not leaving her bedroom, health anxieties, not eating, paranoia. Its hard to explain on here everything that has gone on but I am constantly at the doctors with her or trying to get her to leave her bedroom trying to get her to eat. I am constantly qt the school having meetings or taking her to school welfare checks. Now let's get onto her dad. We split up 9 years ago he was very much involved in their lives seeing them every weekend. Then last year he decided to move 6 hours away he comes down everywhere weekend to see them but other than that has no involvement in their life. He has not offered any help getting my daughter to school he hasn't offered to take anytime off work and come down and stay at his mums which is a 20 min drive and help get her into school. He attends none of the meetings he doesn't contact my kids (son and daughter) he never messages me asking how the kids are, or if *she is going into school etc. He has just moved away and got on with his life. When I was speaking to the attendance officer she said to me she was going to have to proceed to the fine/court stage and said she wouldn't be prosecuting the dad because she has spoken to him on the phone and he said he's hands are tied because he lives so far away!!! I'm fuming I recieved a letter to go to court and I have got all my medical evidence together but if it turns out the dad isn't at the court can I take the school to court for this. The school have seen Me in bits over this they have seen that I lost my job over this they have seen me trying to get her into school they have seen me doing everything possible to get my daughter better and get her into school. My mum has been up the school even my dad it's affecting my whole family as they are close to my daughter. Even my daughter says my dad hasn't been there for me. How is this fair

*edited by MNHQ to remove identifying details.

This. Definitely.

It's ludicrous that the first parent to neglect their kids by leaving/stopping contact/not paying child maintenance/any version or combination of those get off Scott-free. The remaining parent then has more burden and responsibility and treated like they're not good enough and/or failing. Obviously it's usually divided along father-mother lines.

What are they fining you for?

Your child being too unwell to attend school?

So r just go with medical evidence. Go with the information that says after 15 days of medical illness that prevents a child going to school an alternative provider must be sought and provided.

Have the LA even tried to send tutors in? Offered online learning?

If not - in court you just ask why you're being fined for your child being too unable to attend school when the LA hasn't met their duty discharged to them to help?

Yes I did slight misread - but she has also receive a court summons herself so my point stands.

Great post.

There are a number of cases where LAs took parents to court and ended up with egg on their faces for failing to provide support themselves.

OP, @Mystical1981 have you been on the group Not Fine in School on Facebook? They are extremely helpful on these matters.

I don’t understand how the LA can do this. Surely have a statutory obligation to provide education for your child, if she’s not well enough to attend.

It sounds like you need a third party to help you navigate this. Hopefully more knowledgeable posters will be able to point you in the right direction.

I home schooled my daughter a few years ago,took her out of school for a year.
I did some research at the time and I remember finding the education act says that as a parent you have to ensure your child receives an education but this can be other than at school. So I don't understand why they are fining you ?
You say are not working so could you approach the education authority and tell them you are officially home schooling.as far as I was aware education is compulsory but attendance at school is not. I did this 12 years ago now so things may have changed, check out an organisation called education otherwise not sure if they are still around now but they were good on education law.

I’ve heard of lots of different types of alternative provision, but the idea of sending a tutor to the house is interesting. Not sure they could £££

Hi thanks for your message unfortunately I am having to go back to work I am falling into arrears with all my bills I private rent council won't help me as say they don't have any houses. Universal credit just covers my rent but all the other bills have to be paid too. I haven't paid gas and electric for 4 months now, behind on council tax I have got to go back to work otherwise I will be having the bailiffs on my case ontop of all this. I am a single parent so no help from a husband.

I have looked into all other provisions the only one is home schooling. The other ones you have to have a diagnoses of autism/adhd or something similar we are on waiting list for autism tests but been told 3 to 4 year waiting list

Can I ask you said you homeschooled your child how did you financially do this? I am a single parent no husbands income to fall back on etc. Universal credit just covers my rent let alone all the other bills x

They are saying no extra help can be given like tutors unless she has a diagnoses of autism or adhd apparently anxiety and depression isn't a good enough diagnoses. They won't offer any alternative education unless she has an official diagnoses which we are on a waiting list for but takes years

What has school done to support?

They should be doing welfare checks/home visits

Have they offered work at home? A reduced time table?

There are alternative provisions for mh issues you could ask your local authority about referral process. Or look at home schooling.

They are lying to you. She is too unwell to attend school, after the 15th day of absence, they have a legal duty to provide education.

Have you joined the Not Fine in School Facebook group?

Have you investigated if there is a local EBSA (emotionally based school avoidance) group, they’re often run by MIND and offer regular support.

In England contact IPSEA, in Wales SNAP Cymru for support.

They shouldn’t fine you and if you are successfully prosecuted, you should appeal. Your child is unwell. Government guidance is clear mental health difficulties should be recorded as illness in the register not unauthorised absence.

And yes they should prosecute both parents when prosecuting as he has PR. He also has a duty to ensure school attendance. If he felt you were wilfully failing in that duty there are many things he could do. However the main focus should be how you can get the right support in place for you and your daughter, prosecution is not supportive.

Why don't you educate her at home? It sounds very stressful fighting her every day. Clearly that's not the answer. Men don't take responsibility and a lawsuit wouldn't change it. I don't disagree with you but I think you can do some things to make everyone's life easier.

You are focusing on the wrong thing. Rather than focusing on your ex, focus on DD not being provided with the support she needs and is entitled to.

If DD can’t attend school because of her MH, the absences should be authorised. Email the school requesting the absences are authorised. State the regulations (Education (Pupil Registration) (England) Regulations 2006) make clear where a pupil is absent because they are unable to attend due to their medical needs the absence must be regarded as authorised. Also include DfE’s attendance guidance states absences should be recorded as authorised where pupils cannot attend due to illness (both physical and mental health related).

Go on to say that as DD is not receiving an alternative education under s.19 of the Education Act 1996 and an EHCNA has not been requested, the school and LA could have done and still can do more to support DD with her additional needs. Finish by giving them a reasonable deadline to reply. I would copy in the headteacher and the Director of children’s services at the LA too.

In addition to this, the LA should be ensuring DD receives suitable alternative provision so that she receives a suitable full-time education. This should have begun once it became clear 15 days would be missed. A diagnosis is not required. Email the Director of Children’s Services requesting provision. If they refuse, delay or ignore you, email again reminding them of their duty under s19 of the Education Act 1996 and if they fail the comply with their duties you will be forced to look at judicial review proceedings. Then, if that fails, contact SOSSEN for help with a pre-action letter.

Alongside this, request an EHCNA. On their website, IPSEA has a model letter you can use. Again, this is based on needs, not diagnosis.

If you post on the SEN or SN boards, you will receive advice about EHCPs and alternative provision.

The school/LA is not meeting your daughter's needs or supporting you and her adequately. They have a duty under the law. Focus on challenging them.

The SEND system is based on need and does not require a diagnosis.

Under the Equality Act 2010 there is a reasonable adjustments duty is owed to disabled pupils.

The Act says that a pupil has a disability if he or she has a physical or mental impairment that has a long-term and substantial adverse effect on his or her ability to carry out normal day-to-day activities. Physical or mental impairment includes sensory impairments such as those affecting sight or hearing.

Your daughter's mental health condition can be considered a disability under this Act due to the length of time she has been unwell and the impact on her daily life.

The school should be developing an individual healthcare plan for your DD with input from her CAMHS worker. The local school nursing team may be of help with this too.

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/legal-rights/disability-discrimination/disability/

https://www.ipsea.org.uk/school-anxiety

https://childlawadvice.org.uk/information-pages/disability-discrimination-in-education/

https://www.equalityhumanrights.com/equality/equality-act-2010/technical-guidance-schools-england

https://educationhub.blog.gov.uk/2023/04/10/what-are-reasonable-adjustments-and-how-do-they-help-disabled-pupils-at-school/

Pg 28 for information on how schools can develop an individual healthcare plan.

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/supporting-pupils-at-school-with-medical-conditions--3

Template for IHP on link here:

https://www.wellatschool.org/resources/individual-healthcare-plan

Other useful information:

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/mental-health-issues-affecting-a-pupils-attendance-guidance-for-schools

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/providing-remote-education-guidance-for-schools

Home schooling isn't suitable for every child. Nor for every family for that matter, especially when it's a single parent family. My DD has anxiety and is Autistic. Getting her to do any school work at home is a nightmare. She gets caught in a spiral of anxiety about doing the work right, not understanding it, thinking she can't do it, calls herself names, says she's dumb and ends up having a panic attack and meltdown. We've had periods of school refusal, nothing as bad as OP, she does well at school, she absolutely couldn't cope with home schooling.