Mum guilt today...reassurance please

[mumtoboys12]

Today has been really difficult. 10month Old and 3 year old. 3 year old still not over the jealousy of new baby and does anything and everything for some sort of attention (despite being showered in love care attention every day.)
A lot of shouting at him today as he just doesn't listen and sometimes hurts his brother being too rough. Tantrums over everything. Tears and naughty steps. Crying and wailing. Hates not getting his own way at the moment. He's such a sweet kind caring boy usually but it's really bad this week.
When all is said and done and he is in bed, I feel horrendous and sad. Just got into his bed while he is sleeping and cuddled him so tight and whispered all the lovely things and how much I love him.
I hope he forgets the shouting tomorrow and we have a better day.
Mum guilt is SO real.

no advice but you’re not alone. i have an 11 month old and 2.5 year old and it’s so rough at times. like toddler just kicking and pushing over her sister for no reason just relentless all day and then i get overwhelmed at constantly having to be switched on and alert and snap and shout. it’s awful and im the same, all i can say is on days like that i make sure to make a fuss of toddler at bedtime, cuddle and extra books etc. i apologise to her for shouting and explain i was upset at some of the things that happened that day and didn’t mean to shout at her etc its so important to apologise to your children.

@lemonnomel yes I totally agree, I did apologise and say mummy shouts sometimes because you don't listen, but never forget how much we love you etc etc and he nods and gets it. Doesn't erase it all from my head though, it's so tough isn't it! Yep we have all the pushing and dragging around the floor (the kids not me ) and it's exhausting being referee lol!

I feel for you, I have two with a similar age gap and found the period of time when they were 1 and 3 the most challenging. It’s such hard work. My biggest recommendation if you can (and it’s not always easy) is to be as calm and matter of fact as you can when there is bad behaviour, explaining that you don’t like it and why. I found that shouting would only made the behaviour worse and made me feel awful too, so lose/lose. I didn’t like the idea of a naughty step and really don’t think it would have worked with mine and would have just made things worse. When there is good behaviour go over the top with the praise and how happy you are with them. That seemed to work best with mine.

@TeamSleep Thankyou so much! Yes I'm not a fan of the naughty step as it makes him upset but today I was all out of options. I make sure that when the baby has gone to bed, he is totally spoilt with cuddles and praise and we have a little snack together Under the blanket on the sofa etc and I know he loves that time. I am just hoping at the little one gets older, it all becomes a bit less stressy and the jealousy subsides! Xxx

You sound like a lovely mum with a great relationship with your son, it does get easier. They are not rational people at that age! It’s very hard to keep your cool at times. I think it’s lovely you apologise for shouting, because let’s face it, if they were shouting at us we’d say that was bad behaviour, so it’s good for them to see us slip up occasionally too and how to make amends. My 9 year old had a bit of a tantrum the other day and I kept calm. Lo and behold once she’d calmed down too she apologised and I was so proud her and told her so.

@TeamSleep ahhh that's so lovely, Thankyou for saying that. Most days I feel like a great mum, but today I just don't. I think I need to sleep and try again tomorrow!!!!!❤️

A good sleep solves everything in my opinion! Hope tomorrow is better, hang in there!

@TeamSleep Thankyou lovely, you sound like a fantastic mummy too xxx