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Parenting

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Original poster

Having a baby mid-degree, anyone else?

19 replies

baiyu · 12/03/2008 22:21

Just wondering if there's anyone in the same boat? I'm having a baby in May but not taking any time out from my undergrad degree. Luckily I'll have the Summer anyway but then will be back in lectures in September. Does anyone have any similar experience or plans?

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LaComtesse · 12/03/2008 22:30

I did this (had a baby in June of my 2nd year) but it took me a fair while to finish my degree afterwards. Have you got a creche place booked near to your uni?

beansmum · 12/03/2008 22:49

I did this too. Had ds in June of 3rd year of 4 year degree then started back in Sept. I'm sure you'll do better than me but it was tough and I didn't graduate in the end. I probably wouldn't have lasted as long as I did if I hadn't had ds but I left just before the final exams mainly because I hated the course. I'm doing OU courses in a completely different subject now and that is working much better.

A good creche is really important. I had a really good nursery for ds, on campus and happy to rearrange times at very little notice when I didn't get my timetable until the last minute. They let me come in to bf whenever I needed which meant I only had to express for the feeds that coincided with lectures . It would have been almost impossible to go back if I hadn't found such a great place for ds.

Original poster

baiyu · 13/03/2008 11:43

I haven't got a creche placed booked yet but there is a good uni one, they have a few few free places each year which I'm definately going to apply for but they don't decide who gets them til late Summer which is a bit annoying. Guess i should get in touch anyway and book a place, hadn't thought of that, thank you.

beansmum - sounds like similar timing to me, I'm due in May and this is my 3rd year of 4 too. It does sound like a struggle, well done you for doing OU, finding the time and self-motivation for that must be a challenge I'm sure.

LaComtesse - did you have a more flexible structure in place for your studies or did you take time out and then go back?

Thanks for letting me know i'm not the only one!

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LaComtesse · 13/03/2008 13:56

Ahem. I went back on FT basis but due to various problems, I ended up resitting/retaking a lot of exams. I swung from FT to PT and back again. can't write much now as I'm in work but if you want to email me to talk about it more then contact me at garrettgrandaugh [at] aol dot com.

EffiePerine · 13/03/2008 13:58

A family member did this - took a year out but still ended up with a First (she is exceptionally bright )

gem1981 · 13/03/2008 16:02

hi
I had a baby (now 18months) whilst doing an OU degree, I finish it this year and have just found out that I am pregnant with number 2 !!

Its tough but when you need that extra motivation there is nothing more motivating than building fab life for your kiddies!!!!
(that's what I think anyway!!)

beansmum - what OU courses are you doing?
I am doing English Lang and Lit - planning on being a teacher

3madboys · 13/03/2008 16:19

hiya i had my eldest ds whilst at uni, i got preg in my second year and he was born during the summer break between 2nd and 3rd year, he is an aug baby so was 3 wks old when i went back to uni to try and complete my final year..... not great, in the end i took a year out and went back when he was 13mths old, graduated with a good 2:1, it was hard work, i didnt sleep much but it is doable.

i used the university nursery too, ours gave students a discount which was a godsend as my dp was also at uni, he didnt take a year out and so graduated a year before me and then started an MA whilst i was in my last year. it worked out fine, and i got preg with ds2 just after graduating

LaComtesse · 13/03/2008 16:27

Congrats 3madboys - I really struggled to cope with the workload, being a parent and the emotional upheaval (I split from my partner when I was 12wks pg). It's good to know that some people manage better than I did .

Indith · 13/03/2008 16:30

Hi baiyu where are you studying?

I'm a current finalist, had my ds January 2007 and went back to lectures 10 days later That was only part time though, when I found out I was pg I decided to split my final year in 2 and did 2 modules last year and am doing the final 4 this year.

There are now 2 other babies in my college (am at Durham so tis colleges). Tis tough but worth finishing.

If you want to chat then Indith _ underfire @ yahoo dot co dot uk is my e-mail and also my MSN

But right now tis half 4 so I'm going to stop pretending to be taking notes from this incredibly dull book and go collect ds from the rather wonderful uni-ish creche.

3madboys · 13/03/2008 16:32

cant say it was easy lacomtesse, there were times when dp and i nearly split up, its our ten year anniversary this easter (we got together in the first year at uni) and baby no 4 is due any day now

beansmum · 13/03/2008 17:15

gem1981 - I'm doing english lang and lit too! although I'm doing all the lit courses first and may aim for eng lit instead. Was doing maths originally so it's a bit of a change. I'm planning on teaching too, once ds is settled in school, he's only 3.5 at the mo. No other job fits quite as well around being a single mum. (were you born in 1981?)

BernieBear · 13/03/2008 17:21

I had ds between finishing my second year and doing my second year exams. (He was born April) I was single, went back to Uni in September for third year. It was hard as I developed PND, hell in fact at times. I did get a first though but used the counselling facilities at uni to get through. Uni's are often very helpful in situations like this. Having been out the other side I look back now and wonder if I should have either taken a year out or split my final year into two like Indith. Good luck - if you have a lot of support it is doable!

LaComtesse · 13/03/2008 19:50

I've just realised it's 10 years this year since I went to uni . Time flies.

Acinonyx · 13/03/2008 20:06

I had dd at the end of my second yr PhD (full-time). I intended to take one year out but in fact took 2 - I worked part of that second year out so that, in theory, I could be part-time in this, my final year. It has not quite gone to plan as although I have 3 days/week childcare I have a full-time workload including teaching.

It's pretty hectic and a lot depends on whether you child is a good sleeper and how good your childcare is. Tiredness is the main problem - but I am older too and perhaps need more sleep!

gemmiegoatlegs · 13/03/2008 20:09

well done for timing anyway! I often flirt with the idea of popping out another one at the end of May and going back in October, god bless those uni holidays!

Good luck and just a word to make sure you get all the financial help you are entitled to when the baby comes!

littlelamb · 13/03/2008 20:20

I had dd at the end of my first year and went back full time after the summer break. DD was about 10 weeks old when she started at the uni nursery and is still there 3.5 years later, even though I graduated nearly two years ago! (Its a great nursery). I didn't find it too hard, I did English lit and my scheduled timetable was only about 6 hours a week, so I had plenty of flexibility to get work done, and even go home to sleep if necessary . I think the most important thing is that you are honest with your department and make time for regular meetings with your personal tutor. Mine were always very good if I needed extensions (they even extended my disertation deadline when I ended up in hospital with glandular fever!) I say go for it. My graduation day was one of the proudest of my life, because I knew how hard I had had to work just to get there, when so many people thought I wouldn't

Katiekins83 · 17/03/2008 13:44

hi! i did this...but had my son in october.
Tutors were very understanding , but what i was not aware of is the fact that nurseries and creches in my area do not take babies under 4 months( some even 6 months!)! so had to rely on family... in the end i took a year out. i have friend who had a baby the year before though and her partner really helped out and she qualifed in the summer with a first! i think it all depends upon your situation and your baby, if i had to do it again i would deffinitely take the year out from the start!

Original poster

baiyu · 21/03/2008 13:45

Indith I'm at Edinburgh Uni. I can't believe you went back so soon, well done you!

Berniebear sorry you had a tough time of it but it's great to know that it can be done and survived!

littlelamb and katiekins thanks for your advice, I'll be sure to keep in touch with my department and get all the help I can!

Feeling a lot happier now that i know other people have managed. It's only one more year for me so I think just head down and get on with it if I can.

Have a great day ladies!

OP posts:

Indith · 21/03/2008 16:49

Good luck baiyu

I'd do a bit of nagging and see if you can track down other students with kids at Edinburgh, there must be some! It has been so much nicer this year with having 2 others in my college.

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