My DH and I have 4 children aged 5months, 2, 7 and 11. The older two are not my biological children but his from a previous relationship however live with us full time and do not see their mother.
We currently live almost 200miles from where I am from and where my friends and family are and DH has a job which means he works away a lot which I find very difficult with all the children. An opportunity has come up abroad which would mean he would work away for 9 weeks at a time then be back for 3. It would not be possible for us to go with him however the money he could make from this would be life-changing for us and we have discussed and agreed that he could do this for a year and at the end of the year will never have to work away again. I have said that I could only do this if we were to move back to my home city, where my family and friends are for support. DH doesn't have any siblings and his parents aren't massively helpful whereas I have a very large, close family so I know I will have the support I need down there.
I think this will also be great for the children in many many ways but I also know that it will be a huge upheaval for all of them, in particular my stepchildren who have already had a lot of change in their lives. I also know through my work how unsettling and difficult it can be when a parent works away for extended periods of time. I want to try to make this as settled and positive for them as possible. It is going to be a very tough year but I think it will be worth it with the knowledge that at the end of it we can all finally be together permanently without worrying about DH needing to work away again. The older children are understandably a bit nervous but also very positive about it however the reality of the change may hit them once we are there so I don't want to bank on it being an easy ride just because they are positive about it all right now.
Does anyone have any advice about how we can make this as smooth for them as possible?