Daughter being picked on at school club

[mum2monkeys88]

Hi, My daughter, who is 10, came home from netball today and told me another girl is being mean to her . Apparently, she has been saying nasty things since my daughter started.
Comments such as:
You're rubbish at netball, and I am better than you
You shouldn't be in the team
I wouldn't care if the ball hits you in the face.
I have asked my daughter how she would like me to help sort this situation but she has said she doesn't want to get the girl in trouble and doesn't want me to tell the netball teacher. My daughter is very timid of things like confrontation and not wanting to get anyone in trouble etc she is a people pleaser.
Myself on the other hand, just want to drop a message on epraise (school app) and just make the teacher aware and to look out for any issues that may arise.
But I do not want to break my daughters trust by going against her wishes,but I can not allow her to be continually put down by another child.
Please help

I hate this. Bitchy little bullies. I honestly pray this doesn't happen to my child because I was bullied by a girl who sounds very similar to this and I'd never want my child to face the same humiliation and pain I went through. I am not sure I'm a great advice giver as I'd be tempted to have a really friendly chat with the bully. Really really overly sweet and kind tone but an "I know what you're doing" message. Not threatening or anything just saying "I know what you've said to her, please stop". This is obviously terrible advice but would be very effective I think. I think it also depends on what this girls parents are like. Do you think you could have a conversation with them?

Thank you for you're reply, I do not know the parents, nor am I very confrontational. Myself and daughter have agreed that if it happens again, I am allowed to speak to the teacher.

It's a fine line between keeping your dd's confidence and stepping in as a parent.
My dd was bullied, didn't want me to do anything in case it made it worse, we had a serious talk about it where I said my priority was her welfare, I was so proud of her for confiding in me but as her parent it was my job and my responsibility to keep her safe. She eventually agreed to let me deal it with and deal with it I certainly did (think scorched earth approach, I'm a nightmare)
Years later dd still refers to this time, she calls it when I took off on my broomstick!
I would recommend having another talk with your dd, explain that bullies can't be allowed to get away with it and you as the grown up will sort it out.

My daughter is very timid of things like confrontation and not wanting to get anyone in trouble etc she is a people pleaser.

The best long term support that you can offer your daughter, is to rehearse some responses to such comments and phrases. Working on her confidence to reply if some other insecure child makes comments like this.
"What might you say if......" conversations or "What would you do if ....." conversations are so helpful to have had in so many situations she is going to meet over the next 10 years or so, when you won't be there to intervene.