Tantrums wearing me down!

[Frankieeee]

My just turned 2yo tantrums so much for me. He attends nursery, has a day with grandma and of course has been alone with his dad and he does not throw tantrums for them like he does me

I do know about being his safe place and I’m glad he feels he can unleash all emotions around me, it makes me special in that sense! But some days I just feel like he dislikes me (silly I know) and wonder why me :(

His speaking’s getting better but for example, at the moment (I’m convinced he could have a 3 course meal and still do this) he pulls me to the kitchen, our downstairs is open plan, and points at the cupboard and will scream if I don’t get him a snack. Raisins are his faves, he likes rich tea too but I’m being firm and not just giving biscuits because he’s pointing to it.

m He will have the. biggest tantrum nothing stops him unless I’d give in, but as I’m being firm I just get the horrendous tantrum where he’s upset goes red crying and he’s angry and it makes me feel awful :(

I know they’ll lessen as he’s older but it’s a tough stage and I’m due with his sibling next month so the thought of tantrums galore and a newborn is scaring me a little :(

I would recommend you walk away when he starts and keep walking away until he calms down.

I find it really encourages use of words and explanation and allows me to have a breather so both our emotions don't escalate.

It also teaches the child that it's not an effective way to communicate.

@hotcandle is there times for this? Basically I always feel bad and pick him up cuddle him etc quite quick as I don’t want him to be upset

j know I need to find a different way to help him through tantrums as the fact they’re the worst for me means he knows my reaction is different (as DH says I’m a ‘softie’ haha!)

Do you always stick to your guns with everything, not just the snacks? Are you inconsistent with other things perhaps?

When he drags you into the kitchen, I would take him back out. No snacks at all. Let him be upset as well. The quicker you ignore tantrums the better IME.

I ignored DS1 tantrums (cos I had a baby at the time). With DS2 I found them harder to ignore and they were worse as a result.

I’d say I do ‘give in’ his main tantrums are this atm but for example sometimes on a walk if we redirect him (stop him running across the road, up someone’s drive etc) he starts kicking off , then I’ll carry him or he’ll put his arms up to me to pick him up

DH tells me not to do this says I’m encouraging it and also I am pregnant but we have noticed he only does this with me