Guilt over emergency caesarean

[VenusRose]

I had an emergency caesarean with DS. I wanted to avoid CS but obviously had no choice. He’s recently developed eczema (despite being exclusively breastfed, which is supposed to reduce the risk). I can’t help feeling guilty that this is probably due to the EMCS :( I felt like a failure back then because my body wasn’t able to give birth as nature intended and now feel even worse. How can I forgive myself?

Completely agree. I had an EMCS. I don't blame myself. I was following advice from a doctor who said you risk harm to your baby if you don't. I do worry about women sometimes. How much control do we think we have over nature ie baby being stuck. I see blaming yourself in such circumstances as either a sign others blame you, too much reading of hippy home birth magazine, a sign of depression, anxiety, trauma or being excessively blamed as a child.

I thank the amazing surgeon and nurses for my emergency c section! Without it I'd be dead and my DD.. years ago woman falling pregnant was a death sentence!
Eczema has nothing got to do with how you gave birth.

No, I didn't. I'm sorry to have annoyed by reacting just to the opening words, but even in this post you're still saying mothers always seem to find something to feel guilty about. I may be an outlier, but I didn't. I'd have felt guilty if I'd ignored medical advice and done something risky, but that's not how it was for me or for the OP.

I remember meeting women back in the early 90s who were clearly not reconciled to the fact that the fabulous natural birth they had planned for hadn't happened. I myself had hoped for the minimum of intervention the first time I gave birth. However, looking back now I think I was living in cloud cuckoo land. The female body has a lot of problems with birth because of the way humans have evolved to walk on two feet, and probably other factors as well. Good obstetric care is essential so that in the far from uncommon cases where something goes wrong midwives and obstetricians can intervene and save the lifes of baby and/or mother. We are so lucky to have this. It's a scandal that NHS obstetric services are currently overstretched and underfunded so that mothers and babies are not as well served as they could be.

When (I hope it's when, not if) things improve one of the priorities for the NHS should be improving communication and antenatal classes so that women go into labour with more realistic expectations and proper support after any significant intervention.

I don't blame myself either. Or care. I've had 3 elective CS (for medical reasons - small pelvis, big babies). I've never even been in labour.

Just glad we all made it safely through.

Maybe I'm missing something here.. natural vaginal birth with both my children. Both breastfed for 12-13 months. One has eczema.

Please be kind to yourself. I also had an emergency c section. Breast feeding failed despite trying due to tongue tie and issues getting it resolved quickly. Despite not having had the birth/start that gives protective factors our son doesn't have eczema or anything else. My honest believe is it's swings and roundabouts at times.
Xx

I have quite bad eczema, had an emcs and my daughter doesn't have it. I didn't produce milk so couldn't bf either. I don't think a c-sect has anything to do with getting eczema or not.
Be kind to yourself

I have eczema, my mum didn't have a c-section. Stop blaming yourself and be pleased you made a decision that means both you and your baby are here, alive.