Can anyone give me some advice as to how to not feel incredibly exhausted

[Mamabear04]

I'm looking for some practical advice as to how to cope with feeling exhausted. I have 2DC 4years and 1 year and I look after DC2 5 days a week solo and then DC1 goes to nursery 3 afternoons and DGP take her 1 full day a week. DH works from home most days but his job has become increasingly busy and he's not been able to help with pitching in with 5 mins here and there to change a nappy or put DC2 down for a nap. I'm sooo tired and I'm finding it exhausting keeping ontop of the housework as well as trying to prepare at least 1 home cooked meal a day so DC eat some veggies. I don't have any other help other than DH (who helps as much as he can but the past 2 weeks has had deadlines etc at work so can't help like normal) and my parents who are getting old and already take care of DC1 one day a week. My inlaws don't help at all and I don't have friends who have time to help as they all have young children too.

I'm asking for practical advice as to how to physically cope. I take vitamins, eat healthy, get outside every day, try to get enough sleep. I just always feel exhausted. Any other things I'm missing? Please help me!!)

Do you go to any clubs or socialise in the week? Are you tired or a little bit drained/bored as well with the same routines...
Regarding the cleaning is it ok for now to lower standards a bit? Unless you're able to buy in help with a cleaner a declutter and keeping kitchen and bathrooms clean is often enough. The rest will still be there!
And veggies could be given in snacks instead of always at meal times maybe?
I think having children is just busy and tiring and there isn't much scope for rest so sometimes it's a case of being easier on yourself and lowering standards for a while during these intense stages

Can you buy in help? Buy in meal kits?

Do you need a weekend off? Is that possible?

What fills your cup? Any hobbies you haven't had time to do but could do st a weekend?

Do you get energy from hanging out with certain friends or some baby groups?

Vit B12 injections (sounds dodgy but grim a beautician who offers lots of injectables) and magnesium supplements have helped my energy and to get better sleep

The monotony of being full.time carer to small children is exhausting in itself. Can you do stuff just for you with youngest? I'm thinking a movie in the day when they might nap? Going to a gallery in the day? Somewhere you want to go not because it's good for the baby? Or snuggle in the sofa and watch a movie together and sod the rest just for am hour or two.

Go and get a full MOT with your GP. Your thyroid levels might be out of whack (they can often be after pregnancy) and you might need a top up pill for a few months. Your iron, B12, ferritin, Vit D and blood count should also be checked.

How much uninterrupted sleep are you getting every night? Can you improve that if its less than 8 hours?

Those ages are exhausting. I expect you're mentally exhausted more than anything. Can dc2 have some nursery time to give you a break?

How do your kids sleep?

Iron would probably be my first thought. You have a lot in your plate, but it couldn't hurt to ask the GP to check a few things - especially if your exhaustion is intense and constant.

I'm reluctant to go to my GP (although would love a MOT). I was very ill during the summer and have developed asthma as a result of my last pregnancy. I went to the GP for about 8 weeks with a "viral chest infection" that they kept saying would clear up by itself and i ended up in hospital for 3 days. So i just don't feel confident going with the complaint of feeling tired....

Kids sleep OK and DH helps during the night. DC2 sleeps 7-6am (later if we're lucky) and DC2 sleeps 7.30-7am but will wake occasionally with nightmare, help with duvet that she's kicked off etc. Some nights she'll sleep through and then some nights she can call us through 1-3 times. It just depends. DH also always gets up early with DC2 so I can sleep a little later. I am so thankful for this.

It's hard to do much with them on the days DC1 is at nursery as we need to get back to eat lunch before she goes and then DC2 needs to go down for a nap at noon. I quite like him to sleep in the house because a. He sleeps better and for longer and b. It gives me a proper break where I can please myself. On the day DGP take DC1 i take DC2 to a mum and toddlers which I enjoy and I think DC2 needs it as he clings to my leg with the busy environment and good for him to see other kids his age. The day we have all three of us together I try to break the normal cycle and do something we couldn't do for the rest of the week but the last few weeks there has been sickness etc so had to just stay close to home!

What happens at weekends? DH used to take both DC out for a morning or afternoon so I could sleep and slob around.

The 'helping' DH does - indicates you think everything should be your responsibility, which is mentally tiring.

I think you need some time to kick your heels up and do something for you. Can you go to a regular class or activity? I found listening to podcasts and reading good but easy books helped me feel connected to the world when DC were young. You need some ideas in your head about something other than dc.

I'd use nursery more if you can afford it

You say you don't want to be seen as bothering your GP, but I think actually you seem over tired. Given your reluctance to see the GP, perhaps you could do a blood test privately and see where you are with eg thyroid, Fe levels etc just for reassurance.. if anything comes up you can then make a GP appointment.
I have used these, they're very quick https://monitormyhealth.org.uk/our-tests

I have similar ages although DC1 is at school 5 days now. For me it's tiring but not exhausting, so I definitely think you should be getting tests to see if you're deficient in any nutrients. I'm hypothyroid but I take thyroxine and don't suffer any symptoms. I also take high strength vit D and multivitamins daily. It would also be worth looking at perimenopause, I'm 44 so it's something I keep an eye on.

I always have a bit of a rest during DC2's nap as I need that time to recharge. And plan as much as I can so I sort chores and meal prep while the DC's sleep, so I don't have to juggle looking after them while dealing with cooking or housework. I take DC2 out every day to an organised class or activity as it's a break for me even while I participate - I don't have to think up activities or set up and tidy. We bring lunch out with us so we don't have to rush home, and DC2 naps in the buggy.

hahah, my god do we hate inlaws.

3 cups a coffee a day is what keeps me going xx.

😂