Let go hungry or make a different meal?

[Herts501]

So my 3 year has been gradually reducing the number of foods he'll eat for some time now and also refuses to even try new foods. I'm getting to the point where I'm very near to running out of meal options for him.
He does eat fruit, some raw veg, cheese, sausage and occasionally egg, chicken and peas but mostly on their own as opposed to in a meal. He wouldn't touch a shepherds pie, stew, risotto, meat balls, pasta with sauce nothing like that at all.

My question is; if your little one refuses to eat do you just take the food away or try to give them something else?

My inclination is to say it's that meal or nothing but is that the right thing to do?

I don't specifically make a different meal but before bed I offer toast/weetabix or something

I don't think there is a right or wrong answer

Other than that, whatever option you choose, don't let the option you choose be one that allows your child to go to bed hungry.

Children need food to grow. Its not hard to make healthy child friendly food.

Just give him some toast or cereal

I wouldn't have such a young child go hungry. I'd offer something like cheese and crackers, toast, omelette etc

I'm am aware of that and he is growing thank you. I have no problem making healthy food for him. Please reread my original post.

Not exactly the most helpful comment.

It can be hard to make interesting and nutritious balanced meals day in, day out. But even if you do there's no guarantee kids will eat them. I have one child who eats almost anything and one who refuses almost everything. I do nothing different that's just how they are.

I would make a meal with one new thing added. If he eats it, great! If not, he won’t be hungry. A child going to bed hungry is not acceptable to me.

If it’s a good aversion thing rather than just being a bit picky then I would cook what they would eat, offer a bit of what I’m making for myself at every meal without the pressure to eat it and sling a multivitamin at them.

*food

first- Make sure the dinner has a safe food- ie. A spoonful of shepherds pie and then 1-2 items you know they will eat

If they refuse it, let them leave the table. Pop the plate in the fridge and offer again when they say they are hungry

if they refuse a second time- the option is toast and crudites. Nothing else.

make sure they are taking a multivitamin. Don’t make it a battle.

Just to be clear I am NOT sending my child to bed hungry. I am having to cook the same meals over and over so that I can ensure he is eating. He's in the 91 centile for his weight and 89th for his height.

What I am asking is how do I get him to eat more types of food and what do I do if he refuses to eat them?

This is great, thank you x

Wait patiently until he grows past this common fussy phase.

It's normal. Don't make it into a big thing.

it was either eat the family meal or if you don’t like it make yourself something else. They would make fridge food when little. Now as teens they are all impressive cooks and can cook a range of stunning meals.

Just got to keep offering the new food. Over and over. Make sure there's things he'll eat at every meal, safe foods, and some of the new food. Don't comment too much. Hopefully one day he'll try it. Approximately 65 million tries later, he'll like it (going on mine, who are 6 & 9)... It's frustrating. It's a long game.

Also i quite like the Facebook page / Instagram 'my kids eat in color'.

This is so hard isn't it.
I think that I would be happy to serve the parts of a meal separately. If he does have texture and mixing issues, you could even use one of those kids plates with compartments.
So plain pasta in one bit, cheese in another, cucumber in another.
Serve pasta with sauce and cheese to everyone else.

So you are doing variation on the main meal. This helps to normalise his food and keep the gap between him and rest of the family low. I think the advice is to keep offering new foods, so one compartment with something in that he might eat or used ot eat or hasn't tried, but not fuss or comments on it. It may appear and be left 20 times and then a nibble is tried.

Low key, similar as posisble to what everyone else is eating, but something he will eat.
Personally I think the key to getting them to accept new things is that they are not forced, and that they have enough to eat of what they can eat.

I would offer him something he'll eat but which is boring and the same every night before bed - anything interesting or varied will only encourage him to leave his meal to get to the second option. You don't want him hungry, but equally, he needs to know that his evening meal is the one which is better.

Also make sure you serve the boring back up in the same place, with the same conditions as his evening meal, eg no boring back up meal sitting cosy in pjs on the sofa in front of tv if the evening meal is at the table with you.

Hold your nerve, and good luck!

My ds was very fussy - I just made him what I knew he would eat. I don't think not giving them anything is okay it's neglect. It's not about being willful it's more complex than that. He eats everything now - apart from fish which he hated as a small child and still hates as a 19yo.
3yo children are very complex and not giving them proper food is not going to help the situation.

I wouldn't offer anything different as they get used to that and hold out for the toast/whatever else because they know it's coming. So serve the family meal but with no pressure to eat it. If they say they're hungry again later then bring out the family meal reheated.

Also lots of three year olds do understand if you simplify it so I always said to mine something like...
you have to try something lots of times before you even know whether you like it or not. And you may not have liked it last time but this time might be different.
Surprised me how often their little tastes change but then so do ours I guess so no different

There’s a really useful Instagram page called ‘kids eat in colour’ which has lots of tactics to encourage new foods.

I wouldn’t cook a whole new meal but would give them something else so they don’t go hungry, even if just bread and butter

I would only offer one meal and nothing else after, but always make sure there is enough of the things he eats on the plate so he isn't going to bed hungry. Every plate should have at least one new food and one safe food. Let him he eat what he wants and leave what he wants, no stress.

I wouldn't do toast/cereal later though. It's dinner or nothing.

This is excellent advise.

Also if you are concerned about fruit and veg intake you could try making milkshakes or smoothies together or blend veg into sauce or gravy to sneak it in.

Personally, I usually just keep the food on the table, wait for the tantrum to finish, and watch the child slope back to the table and gobble the lot!

That's because with my DC, it's usually not a genuine dislike but a sort of "I'm tired and would rather have snack food" type tantrum. i
e. behavioural, not really about the food.

I know with many children it really is about the food though, in which case I don't have much advice. If it's genuine dislike and I can see that the meal really is too spicy or whatever, then I'll compromise - but not cook a whole new meal. More like "ok, you're right, I used too much chili this time - just eat the rice, and then how about some cheese from the fridge" etc.