When to introduce new partner

[thirtysomethingmumof3]

Hi all. Long time lurker, first time posting.

Have recently met a new partner after separating from soon to be ex husband last year. When I say recently, we've been together a few months and I have 3 DC, 11, 8 and 2. It's getting to the point now where I'm considering telling the older 2 that I've met someone, I don't want them to meet him for some time but we have both agreed we are committed to a long term relationship.

In my mind it will be beneficial to allow them time to come to terms with the idea that I've met someone and ask questions etc. I would also allow them to decide when they were ready to meet him.

Can I ask what others opinions are on the above, and also what others have done in terms of introducing new partners.

How long is a few months, 2…6?
It makes a big difference.

what’s the rush?

do you need to tell them?

why not just see how it goes?

how many months? have you been with him when children with your ex?

Why not just get through the divorce first?

There's no rush. I wouldn't tell them. Let them get used to the divorce first.

Why do you need to introduce him to your kids? Have some fun dating him and keep him separate - best of both worlds.

This is what DH did with his kids. He told them he was seeing someone and left it down to them to decide when they wanted to meet me. They were 13, 14 and 3 at the time. Obviously the 3 year old didn't have a day but after I met both the boys I met 3yo SD. We were together 4 months when ai met the kids but I had known him for 20 years.

If it was me I’d probably leave it until I was comfortable with them meeting him? Honestly, probably a year? Do they need to know?

How long have you known him? If you've only known him 2 months you don't actually know him yet. Having made the mistake of introducing at 4 months and having his whole secret past life come out at his parents house 8 months later, personally I'd say leave it as long as you possibly can. Sounds as if the kids already have a lot to deal with if the divorce wasn't long ago.