How do you stop your toddler injuring your newborn?

[AlleyFox]

DS1 was 13 months old when our surprise baby DS2 was born. They are 3 months and 16 months now, and I’m in a constant state of terror that DS1 will injure the little one. He’s a handful - very energetic and a bit of a nutcase. Normally that’s a joy and we have a lot of fun, but I don’t dare put DS2 down anywhere because there’s been a number of close calls where DS1 has been too boisterous around him. This is making DS1 very jealous and clingy to the point where he screams if I’m not constantly holding him.

Up until now, my mum has been here every day to help me, but as of January she won’t be able to help anymore (knee replacement) so I’m just looking for tips that might have helped you?

We are also a co-sleeping family so naps and bedtime are a challenge with 2. Luckily DS2 is a very happy baby!

I think in your place I'd get a playpen you can put the baby in so there's a completely safe space where he can lie on the floor without getting bounced on. Then you can do all the normal lying-on-a-playmat stuff with DS2 in there while DS1 has the run of the rest of the room.
If your budget stretches to it, I also like the baby set for the tripp trapp highchair - we used it to keep baby away from dog, but I'm sure it would work similar with a toddler. It's just a baby seat (that also lies flat) that's not on the floor, so again you can put the baby down without him being bounced on.

Baby in the playpen.

Sometimes you can put the baby down somewhere safe and take the toddler with you. Eg, to the toilet or to take a quick shower (wash the toddler at the same time.
Playpen is a good idea. Depending on how good your toddler is at climbing it might also work to keep them contained sometimes too.

Put the toddler in the playpen/travel cot and the baby away from them

If its the other way round the toddler can gift the baby toys right on top of them!

I do have playpen that I could put the baby in. I can’t see my toddler being very positive towards it, but I can only try!

A reclining high chair with a really wide base

A playpen with a net cover (to stop toys being thrown in)

A moses basket on the dining room table and all the chairs pushed in properly

A moses basket in the bedroom with the door closed and a hook and eye snib on the top if dc1 can open doors and baby monitor

Good point about the ‘gifts’. I can try with toddler in the playpen, but I can’t see it going down very well. His favourite thing to do is run around throwing balls for our dog and I can’t see him enjoying being contained. He is a rocket of energy.

Put ball pit balls in the playpen - he might ask to go in!!😉

Good luck with it, I’m sure it will get better.

You need to keep them apart, full stop. I am all for responsive parenting or whatever it's called these days (I used to co-sleep with both children). You need to set up boundaries for your toddler. Otherwise you run the risk of living with guilt for the rest of your life if your newborn (God forbid) end up with a life changing injury

I have a 2.5 year age gap so slightly different. But from about 18 months the baby became more of a toddler and much tougher and more resilient - much less likely to get knocked over or be easily hurt. And he started getting his own back and being able to run away and play in other ways so the discrepancy between them was much less.

I also used a sling that could be used to put the baby on my back if I needed!

There's 16 month gap between mine. Baby is now 6 months. The last few weeks I've been OK leaving them together with baby sitting on the floor by sofa, whilst I prep a snack or wash bottles etc the other end in our open plan space. I can't see them as sofa blocks view, but can hear them. I wouldn't leave the room tho.

If I leave the room I take one with me, baby or toddler depending on what I'm doing. It's so so much easier now and I'd say it got that way when baby was around 5ish months. Toddler had stopped biting her by then. Still absolute nutcase, but thankfully doesn't make baby cry that much anymore. They make each other laugh waaaay more now!

The baby would go in the playpen.

I’ve a 15/16 month age gap. Baby typically went in a carrycot up on a high surface, or a sling. We spent very little time at home as it was far easier to be in a play cafe or park etc where toddler could be priority. At home. If baby was in the bouncer we taught toddler how to “gently” rock it/help and involved them giving them jobs and tasks. All gentle behavior was noticed and praised and all rough and tumble ignored (which helped massively reduce it. Reality is number one is still a baby and then wanting your attention isn’t a bad thing! They’ll get it however they can so try make sure there’s a million opportunities to do it without risk).

Certain games got played with toddler only when baby napped or fed. Toddler and baby were rarely left alone together. I’d usually bring one with me!

but overall my experience was that babies are remarkable resilient and the odd book being “shared” in their lap, I saw mainly as lovely rather than risky. I did remove BIG toys that were accidental weapons (so huge toy cars, the big plastic pink/musical instruments). Duplo, mega blocks, colouring, soft toys, small musical bits, toot toot etc all stayed as they did very little harm! A soft ball pit ball if thrown, is not idea but it will surprise rather than hurt.

I think having some mommy and toddler time (where partner took baby) also helped in our house. Tended to be at weekends!

But yup. Occasionally baby was more ‘manhandled’ than my first (eg I remember my toddler suddenly and unexpectedly enthusiastically sharing their food and was horrified to find my 3.5 month old happily sitting with a spoon in their mouth. I wasn’t weaning! Had to explain baby only had milk!). Once the baby can sit, a high chair is brilliant.

Now they are 3&2 and it’s a lot easier in so many ways. I love hearing them play with each other (though they still can hurt each other!) the laughs are worth it!