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Original poster

Car seat logistics with toddler and newborn

34 replies

MariaVT65 · 20/11/2023 10:35

Hi all :)

I have a 3 year old and am just about to give birth to my second child.

I’m just wondering how all of you manage car seat logistics on longer journeys please.

Ideally we wanted to have our 3 year old in the front so I could sit in the back with the baby, but we’re unable to have a car seat in the front of our specific car.

How do you all manage with a small baby and a toddler during longer journeys? Do you have a toddler in the front? Or do you any of you sit in the middle of the back? Or just have both kids in the back?

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SeaToSki · 20/11/2023 10:37

Both kids in the back and an extra mirror thingy so I could see the baby using my rear view mirror. Then just stop if you really need to check on the baby

AlleyFox · 20/11/2023 12:44

Both in the back. I have a 16 month old and a 3 month old and we have dual mirrors so I can see both of them. In fairness we haven’t taken a journey longer than 30 mins, but it seems to work fine.

SaltyGod · 20/11/2023 12:50

Always both in the back. If the baby cries for a bit that is just what has to happen until we could stop. We would do 2hr+ journeys regularly.

I only now occasionally have one in the front, age 7+

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lertume · 20/11/2023 12:53

Both dc in the back. You have no choice if you can't put a car seat in the front. The kids get used to it

For journeys longer than 2 hours we've always taken the train rather than driving as it's easier to focus on them and they can stretch their legs a bit on the journey.

Sh1eld · 20/11/2023 12:54

I did briefly put my 3 year old into the front seat (rear facing with the airbags off, I researched both the car seat and car configuration carefully beforehand) and I sat in the back with my newborn. But from what you say that's not an option for you in your car? So that's fine, you won't be able to do that. Can you sit comfortably in the middle seat between your toddlers seat and the newborn seat? Wouldn't be possible in most cars but if you can and that's what you want to do then go for it. If not then you have to do the next best thing - both kids in well fitted car seats in the back of the car, stop regularly for rest breaks and to check on the baby.

H930 · 20/11/2023 13:06

We have a 3.5yo and a 5mo. The baby has always hated the car so for any journeys longer than about twenty minutes I squish myself into the middle of them 😂 not especially comfortable but way better than the poor baby screaming all that time - he really does get super upset but if I’m there he’s much happier. DS1 also hated the car but it improved drastically when we front faced him when he got older - holding out for that happening with DS2!

justmyluck1234 · 20/11/2023 13:11

18month old and newborn - both in back, mirror for baby. (No room to have any other way) no problems been this way for the last 6months.

skkyelark · 20/11/2023 13:57

I've also done the squish myself in the middle when necessary, but another suggestion to take the train for longer journeys when you can. As long as we don't need the car wherever we're going, we find it so much easier, there's so much more they can do on a train, you can interact with them much more, no need to stop for all the toilet/nappy changes, food, etc. And with a newborn, it avoids having to stop super often to get them out of the carseat.

Original poster

MariaVT65 · 20/11/2023 14:03

Thanks all so far so much for your advice. Just for clarification, i’m more considering future journeys where it will be 2-3 hours to visit our parents. Train won’t really be an option as we’ll also haven things like travel cots to carry.

OP posts:

Soontobe60 · 20/11/2023 14:09

First of all, the safest place for your toddler is in the rear. Your baby will be fine with you in the front. If it’s going to cry in the car, you being sat next to it won’t make much difference.
Second, ask your parents to buy a travel cot to keep there!

headcheffer · 20/11/2023 14:10

Both in the back. I've never found a baby to be particularly comforted by me in the back to be honest. They just seem to get more upset I'm not getting them out! I used a mirror so I can see the baby.

headcheffer · 20/11/2023 14:11

Oh and a journey of 2-3 hours is actually a journey of 5 hours with a newborn, as you need to stop for feeds and car seat breaks! Then as they get older it's less of an issue and I used to travel at nap time.

InTheRainOnATrain · 20/11/2023 14:11

Both kids in the back. Get a lie flat infant seat if long journeys are going to ve a regular occurrence and plan for 1-2 stops. I have a 3 year age gap and didn’t let my eldest sit in the front until she was 6 and even then only on short local journeys on 20 mph roads. I wouldn’t risk the safety of a 3YO to watch a newborn, seems a bit bonkers to me.

Mummyme87 · 20/11/2023 15:16

Always had both kids in the back, newborn and 3.5yr old. And few times a year we’re doing 4hr and 6hour car journeys

Original poster

MariaVT65 · 20/11/2023 15:18

Mummyme87 · 20/11/2023 15:16

Always had both kids in the back, newborn and 3.5yr old. And few times a year we’re doing 4hr and 6hour car journeys

Thank you :) So how do you manage during the longer journeys? Is it just the case of doing lots of stops?

We had our first in lockdown so he was quite a bit older than newborn before we got to do a longer trip.

OP posts:

Mummyme87 · 20/11/2023 15:20

@MariaVT65 i spent a lot of time leaning in to the back to pacify the baby who HATED the car seat, we usually stopped once, max twice otherwise we would have been travelling all day. Pick a time when the baby is more likely to sleep… say they usually wake at 6am for a feed then nap for a couple of hours, feed them then in to the car to at least get you a good distance

BertieBotts · 21/11/2023 08:04

My kids have been OK travelling so it hasn't been a problem to have two in the back.

On one longer journey I put toddler on one side, baby in the middle with a belt fitted base, me on the other side. It started off with teenage DS on the other side but baby kept getting upset and it did seem like my presence soothed him a bit more.

Most of the time we have the DC on either side in the back. I can sit in between them but it's not very comfortable, even now we have a 7 seater car with a full sized seat in the middle. It has one of those seatbelts that comes from the roof and plugs in either side and you end up sitting on it. Next time we do a long drive or have people visiting us, I'll probably try putting one of the car seats in the middle to improve comfort for whoever sits in that row.

BertieBotts · 21/11/2023 08:05

YY I agree trying to time the longer stretches of journey with a time they would usually have a nap.

Advice is not to exceed a stretch of more than 2 hours in the car seat because the position is not ideal for their oxygen saturation levels. For babies under 4 weeks, ideally aim for no longer than 30 mins. So a 3 hour journey would benefit from a stop off. (Just 5 mins to stretch legs is fine).

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 21/11/2023 08:08

I've never sat in the back with the kids..both kids in the back on long journeys eldest has their kindle, and baby usually sleeps, and lots of toys for them that toddler can pass to them.

Depending on age, and length of journey a couple of stops for nappy changes and a feed

bettynutkins · 21/11/2023 08:15

Got 3 and 1 year old. Have always done 2-3 hour journeys, every month pretty much.

Have a mirror so I can see baby. Those first 4 months we would stop 1/2 times. Once she hit 4 months she became a nightmare and we would have to stop in random roads off the motorway and calm her down. I have also squashed in between the seats very uncomfortably on occasion.

We always drive at 7/7.30 when toddler can go to bed and the roads are quieter.

Superscientist · 21/11/2023 08:23

Stick to major motorways and know where are the service stations are so you know when you can wait for the next one as there are two stops close together and when there is a bigger gap so need to stop even if it might not be necessary. We don't have two children but have just moved me into the front when traveling on long journeys with my 3 yo. The last trip we did was from Dorset to Manchester and we pretty much did it in one go. We passed a service station when she was just starting to fuss and said we would stop at the next services station this was just south of Birmingham. We didn't there was congestion on the M6 and we were rerouted onto A roads and struggled to find somewhere to stop not knowing the area. We found somewhere is Staffordshire but as we pulled into the supermarket she fell asleep after crying for an hour. We had a comfort break and got something for dinner and started off again when she woke up and continued the crying until we got home.
I think I'm going to have a higher bar for diverting off the motorway in future!!

The time it has been most useful for me to be in the back on our long journeys was less when she was little and more when she was 1 to 2.5. younger than that it was more ftm anxieties than her need for me to be there. Then from 1-2.5 she mostly needed toy retrieval so just have plenty of options to get through whatever your stop distance when you can get them from the side of the car seat or on the floor or by some Houdini behaviour in the boot!

Flittingaboutagain · 21/11/2023 08:24

Avoid longer journeys until baby is able to travel safely and time them well so neither one will be crying and disturb the others nap! Lots of stops and lots of special car only joys go down well here. Both in the back with mirrors.

gotomomo · 21/11/2023 08:25

Kids in back, never sat with either of mine

Hercisback · 21/11/2023 08:27

Both in the back.

Newborn shouldn't be in the car that long without a break anyway.

DragonFly98 · 21/11/2023 08:27

A baby or toddler in the front is really unsafe. Just put both in the back there really is no issue.,

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