Safe to have a party for 1-month-old?

[pizzanoodle]

Hi everyone,

We're expecting a baby in December and we're thinking of organising a party for when the baby turns 1 months old. This will likely be at the end of January at an indoors soft play place. We're thinking probably 10 adults, 20 ish kids.

Will it be unsafe for the new born? Just conscious that he will not have had some immunisations yet (eg meningitis) and we've heard stories of newborns catching it when outside before their vaccines.

What do you think?

Thanks!

I probably wouldn't, those places are germ filled - but also incredibly noisy. Sorry but I don't see the point for a 1 month old? And what if you have a C-section or complications, you'll hardly be wanting to organise a party.

You mean a party for you that you're going to bring your baby to?

Depending on how many people want to hold/fuss over the baby, yes it could be a real germ spreader.

Why are you holding a party for a one month old?! Or do you mean it’s for an older child? Confused by this 🤷‍♀️

I am normally very pro anything with a new baby rather than one of the cautious types, but I just can't see the point of this? It's probably because I think soft plays are noisy and grim, and I only go when I run out of other ways to occupy my kids!

I'm guessing the objective is to celebrate the new arrival? Which I wouldn't book in advance anyway - you have no idea when it will arrive or how either of you will be. If you're going to be on mat leave, I'd go for more, smaller gatherings e.g. just one family come round for tea.

And then have a bloody great summer party to celebrate e.g. six months in June (when you could get a bouncy castle outdoors for the same cost!)

Don't do it for your own sanity, I hate those places, you'll be spending enough time in them over the next few years as it is, without having to attend one while sleep deprived and being expected to host everyone else's children.

Why a party for a month old?

Good points everyone!

I guess the reason why we thought to hold one is to celebrate the new arrival and meet people we haven't seen for a while. On top of that we have a three year old and she might quite enjoy the party.

But yeah, perhaps it's too much / too germy! And smaller gatherings would be easier to handle!

My 10 month old has just had a trip to out of hours doctor for severe vomiting due to virus / covid / cold they have. This is after receiving all up to date vaccines and being EBF (antibodies) this is from play groups she attends and is currently a none mover so just shows how things are so easily picked up by the little ones. Please do not do this to your newborn in the peak of RSV season when people will want to hold them. Even if they didn’t catch it directly, you could and pass it on.

So really just bringing a baby to a soft play place? Yes sure it's fine! People do this all the time - older sibling plays and baby in pram/sling whatever. Your baby won't be anywhere else. I took my five day old out to a restaurant...

The OP wants 10 adults and 20ish kids to meet the baby all at the same time.

So it's not quite the same thing at all.

I get your sentiment about celebrating the baby's birth but I don't think soft play is the right way to go. If you're Christian would you not just get the baby baptised, and invite family to that? If you're not religious you could have a naming ceremony to honour the baby and get everyone together. It's not anything official, just the parents introducing the baby to their people. You could do a little afternoon tea in a hall or something.

To add, I attended a christening recently where the parents had really thought of the attending children after the church ceremony. They'd hired a room at a pub and brought in some toys and a little ball pit for the younger ones. Even hired a magician to entertain them, and had a disco provided by the dad's phone and a speaker! Much nicer atmosphere than a soft play.

My DD's older sister has her birthday a month after DD and we had a soft play party in a church hall. She was fine with it and wasn't ill afterwards, though she actually slept almost the whole way through. I don't think it would be unsafe from a health point of view, although it was definitely hard work to organise 4 weeks post c-section!

I thought the same. A one month old will not appreciate a party, it's likely they will want to feed most of the time and not be relaxed, nor will you. Then there is the possibility that you won't feel sufficiently well or alert to manage it.

What is the point?

If you want friends and family to meet your baby, ask them over to yours for a (short) visit.

So just a get together? and since you have an older kid and friend with kids you’re thinking a soft play?
in that case, yeah fine, the 1month old would be with you, maybe sleeping, not playing with the older kids anyway

If you'd like to see people and let them meet the baby then I'd recommend not a soft play. Sounds hellish!

Is there a friend or relative who might host for you, possibly when the baby is a little older and has had some jabs, and the kids can play outside?

Or go to a pub with a playground?

What for? One month old? No no no. Just no, utterly absurd.

i wouldn’t. i had a december baby who got bronchiolitis at 5 weeks and it was awful, she was on oxygen and had a feeding tube etc. keep baby away from places like that especially in winter

I wouldn’t have felt like being around so many people at 1 month postpartum and there’s no way I would do it during the winter virus season. In addition to the chance of your newborn getting ill, looking after a small baby 24 hrs a day while you are also ill is the most miserable experience so I’d be trying to minimise exposure to germs for those first few weeks. Have smaller gatherings with close friends and family only if you feel up to it at the time.

You might go 2 weeks overdue.
You might have CS/complications necessitating staying in for a week.
You might finally get home, close the front door and just want to establish you new family.
You might have infections/anaemia/stitches ... etc.

(Me, btw)

I wouldn't organise anything formally, just go with the flow and make arrangements when you're all good and ready.

I wouldn't personally. That's peak time for illness amongst children, a very busy time of year for soft plays and even if baby doesn't get coughed over they're likely to dislike the noise level as it'll disturb their feeding or sleep.

If you're desperate to do something like that I'd try to find a venue where its closed to public and just your guests attend, like a hall with a bouncy castle for the children for example.
Definitely don't arrange it until baby is here and you are sure if you still like the idea though.

Going against the grain here - yes, I would, because this is exactly what we did.

It was DD's 4th birthday and DS was 4 weeks old. My friend brought her son who was 2 weeks old. The babies slept in their car seats for pretty much the whole thing.

Everyone got to "meet" DS - by looking at him sleeping, he wasn't passed around.

It was all over after 2 hours.

I wouldn't have a 'party' exactly but maybe if you have 20 people you want to meet the little one do 10 at a time at yours with just some sandwiches, crisps, and a bowl of salad out for them to help themselves to :)

I think you should steer clear of toddler and infants all in one place in a soft play as a one month old is far more likely to pick something up here, and when newborns get sick it can get serious very quickly.

I'd be less stressed about the illnesses somewhere with fewer toddlers.