You’re not alone! Your brain isn’t actually mush: it’s that every minute of your day is accounted for and using your brain, so there’s no give/spare, and no time for free-roaming thoughts.
I have a four year old in reception and an 11 month old, and from the minute I wake up there’s a task: a breastfeed, a nappy change, breakfast, clearing up the high chair blast zone (all fucking day it feels like – the floor and the high chair and the bibs are a full time job), wrangling child into uniform and wet weather gear, school runs, naps, meals and snacks – the baby eats what we eat more or less, but it still needs to be heated then cooled then chopped, meal prep and snack prep (eg he can’t manage apple slices unless poached), meal plan, food shop, cleaning, 8,000 school requests for recycling to make models, donations for the Christmas fair, fill in the phonics reading record, mufti day, nativity costume, plus all the general life stuff like MOT or dentist or the damp patch, decluttering the too small clothes and sourcing bigger clothes, do we have enough nappies, nap schedule needs changing as he’s not settling, bigger child needs a play date, on and on and on.
DP does his share and takes half the nights and his brain isn’t mush because he goes to work and therefore has brain rest breaks and daydream time and isn’t constantly thinking 10 steps ahead: OK if I need to pick up early today because wraparound is closed for training then I need to move the nap forward by 30 minutes but then we’ll miss the class so we’ll do the library but that means we need bread sticks for a snack because bananas aren’t an on the go food so I need to go to the shop so I’ll check the list on the fridge… etc.
Can’t wait to go back to work! I had a couple of hours off this weekend thanks to some friends taking both kids so I could focus on a job application, and without needing to chase a cruising, stair-climbing, multi-meal-needing baby my brain came back to action almost immediately.