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Brain a soggy mess after having second baby!

7 replies

Fearnecuptea · 20/11/2023 04:57

Anyone else?!

So I have one 5 year old with adhd and a (currently poorly with a cold) 8 month old (who barely sleeps- does 5 or 6 hour stretches on a good night plus the waking every 1,2 hours or just wakes every 1-2 hours the full night).

I swear to god, my brain has turned to mush. It is so frustrating. I can barely form an intelligent sentence, I feel busy all the time with mundane tasks and thoughts.

I guess I'm not asking a specific question but just wondering if anyone else has/had this second time round? When/how did it improve?

I go back to work in 4 months and honestly worried I won't be able to do my job (aka conduct meetings and less projects).

OP posts:
Fearnecuptea · 20/11/2023 04:58
  • lead. Omg 😂
OP posts:
Fearnecuptea · 20/11/2023 09:39

Bump! Or am I the only one??

OP posts:
crankit · 20/11/2023 12:44

I feel you... currently 27 weeks pregnant with a 14 month old and I am so forgetful it's ridiculous ! I will argue until I'm blue in the face about things I thought happened/have said !!

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spitefulandbadgrammar · 20/11/2023 13:06

You’re not alone! Your brain isn’t actually mush: it’s that every minute of your day is accounted for and using your brain, so there’s no give/spare, and no time for free-roaming thoughts.

I have a four year old in reception and an 11 month old, and from the minute I wake up there’s a task: a breastfeed, a nappy change, breakfast, clearing up the high chair blast zone (all fucking day it feels like – the floor and the high chair and the bibs are a full time job), wrangling child into uniform and wet weather gear, school runs, naps, meals and snacks – the baby eats what we eat more or less, but it still needs to be heated then cooled then chopped, meal prep and snack prep (eg he can’t manage apple slices unless poached), meal plan, food shop, cleaning, 8,000 school requests for recycling to make models, donations for the Christmas fair, fill in the phonics reading record, mufti day, nativity costume, plus all the general life stuff like MOT or dentist or the damp patch, decluttering the too small clothes and sourcing bigger clothes, do we have enough nappies, nap schedule needs changing as he’s not settling, bigger child needs a play date, on and on and on.

DP does his share and takes half the nights and his brain isn’t mush because he goes to work and therefore has brain rest breaks and daydream time and isn’t constantly thinking 10 steps ahead: OK if I need to pick up early today because wraparound is closed for training then I need to move the nap forward by 30 minutes but then we’ll miss the class so we’ll do the library but that means we need bread sticks for a snack because bananas aren’t an on the go food so I need to go to the shop so I’ll check the list on the fridge… etc.

Can’t wait to go back to work! I had a couple of hours off this weekend thanks to some friends taking both kids so I could focus on a job application, and without needing to chase a cruising, stair-climbing, multi-meal-needing baby my brain came back to action almost immediately.

crankit · 20/11/2023 13:24

spitefulandbadgrammar · 20/11/2023 13:06

You’re not alone! Your brain isn’t actually mush: it’s that every minute of your day is accounted for and using your brain, so there’s no give/spare, and no time for free-roaming thoughts.

I have a four year old in reception and an 11 month old, and from the minute I wake up there’s a task: a breastfeed, a nappy change, breakfast, clearing up the high chair blast zone (all fucking day it feels like – the floor and the high chair and the bibs are a full time job), wrangling child into uniform and wet weather gear, school runs, naps, meals and snacks – the baby eats what we eat more or less, but it still needs to be heated then cooled then chopped, meal prep and snack prep (eg he can’t manage apple slices unless poached), meal plan, food shop, cleaning, 8,000 school requests for recycling to make models, donations for the Christmas fair, fill in the phonics reading record, mufti day, nativity costume, plus all the general life stuff like MOT or dentist or the damp patch, decluttering the too small clothes and sourcing bigger clothes, do we have enough nappies, nap schedule needs changing as he’s not settling, bigger child needs a play date, on and on and on.

DP does his share and takes half the nights and his brain isn’t mush because he goes to work and therefore has brain rest breaks and daydream time and isn’t constantly thinking 10 steps ahead: OK if I need to pick up early today because wraparound is closed for training then I need to move the nap forward by 30 minutes but then we’ll miss the class so we’ll do the library but that means we need bread sticks for a snack because bananas aren’t an on the go food so I need to go to the shop so I’ll check the list on the fridge… etc.

Can’t wait to go back to work! I had a couple of hours off this weekend thanks to some friends taking both kids so I could focus on a job application, and without needing to chase a cruising, stair-climbing, multi-meal-needing baby my brain came back to action almost immediately.

Omg im knackered just reading that !! But you're so right... and the high hair blast zone 😆 hate it !!

wishIwasonholiday10 · 20/11/2023 13:48

You’re definitely not alone. I only have one child (16 months) and my brain is totally non-functional after months of distrusted sleep due to teething and 10 days of no sleep at all due to illness. I’m trying to do my job but failing miserably and making so many mistakes I would be more productive if I wasn’t at work at all. The Xmas break can’t come fast enough.

Fearnecuptea · 21/11/2023 07:07

spitefulandbadgrammar · 20/11/2023 13:06

You’re not alone! Your brain isn’t actually mush: it’s that every minute of your day is accounted for and using your brain, so there’s no give/spare, and no time for free-roaming thoughts.

I have a four year old in reception and an 11 month old, and from the minute I wake up there’s a task: a breastfeed, a nappy change, breakfast, clearing up the high chair blast zone (all fucking day it feels like – the floor and the high chair and the bibs are a full time job), wrangling child into uniform and wet weather gear, school runs, naps, meals and snacks – the baby eats what we eat more or less, but it still needs to be heated then cooled then chopped, meal prep and snack prep (eg he can’t manage apple slices unless poached), meal plan, food shop, cleaning, 8,000 school requests for recycling to make models, donations for the Christmas fair, fill in the phonics reading record, mufti day, nativity costume, plus all the general life stuff like MOT or dentist or the damp patch, decluttering the too small clothes and sourcing bigger clothes, do we have enough nappies, nap schedule needs changing as he’s not settling, bigger child needs a play date, on and on and on.

DP does his share and takes half the nights and his brain isn’t mush because he goes to work and therefore has brain rest breaks and daydream time and isn’t constantly thinking 10 steps ahead: OK if I need to pick up early today because wraparound is closed for training then I need to move the nap forward by 30 minutes but then we’ll miss the class so we’ll do the library but that means we need bread sticks for a snack because bananas aren’t an on the go food so I need to go to the shop so I’ll check the list on the fridge… etc.

Can’t wait to go back to work! I had a couple of hours off this weekend thanks to some friends taking both kids so I could focus on a job application, and without needing to chase a cruising, stair-climbing, multi-meal-needing baby my brain came back to action almost immediately.

YES! Thats exactly it, never ending thoughts on what's coming up. It's so exhausting (and boring dare I say?!) being in this nap/eat/ stimulate baby routine and then on top of that you've got the home admin and other child to think about too. Plus attempting to maintain the vaguest ghost of a social life.

Im so pleased I'm not the only one who feels like this.

I spend most of my spare time RN with other mums of 5 year olds and sometimes find myself comparing (I know I shouldn't). Seeing how "together" and well slept they seem, I feel like a frazzled mess in comparison!

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