Am I being unreasonable or is Mother In Law being annoying

[Pizfufffff]

I'm due on a period so not sure if I'm just being highly strung for no reason! I dropped my daughter off to my mother in law yesterday before I went to work, and told her that I was feeling a bit unwell (not majorly) As I was saying bye to my daughter I went to hug her, my mother in law put her hand out and said "no no don't get close to her she's a baby" (she's 11months old).

I got a bit annoyed about this as it's my daughter and I will hug her goodbye if I want to. Which then got me thinking that she does things like this often.

Recently she wanted to see DD so we took her over in the car (2 min drive) I take DDs pram suit off before she gets in her car seat, and didn't bother to put it back on from the short 10 second walk from the car to the house. When she opened the door she commented that "it's cold I should be wrapping her up more" (she had plenty of layers on)

She's always commenting on the dinners I cook for DD, she believes everything should be totally puréed, I give DD things with texture to teach her to eat and she does really well with them. MIL comments that DD gets constipated sometimes because I'm not puréeing her food.

As you can tell I've been stewing in annoyance for the last 24 hours haha, am I being unreasonable?

YADNBU X

Why were you dropping your dc at hers? I presume she was doing you a favour or providing childcare?

Yes she’s annoying

Yup annoying

What's your point? Just because you do someone a favour it doesn't give you a pass to be a controlling, nitpicking arsehole.

No but if you dislike someone then not asking them for favours is a sensible move

I totally agree. I would be making other arrangements if I were the op.

Well then I'd be grateful and suck it up...or pay for childcare or use someone less annoying

You told her you felt unwell so she was worried about the baby catching whatever you have. Bit pointless as you've obviously been close to her already but I think she probably meant it for the best.

Annoying about the food though.

I don't ask her for favours, she really wants to look after DD and it's no problem for me, if she ever expressed that it was a burden I would let my own mother do it, who I often say no to because MIL wants DD for the day so much.

Stop asking her to do childcare.

(people can see your unedited post)

I forgot to quote the person, and didn't know how to delete so I just wrote it out again below 😊

She told you not to “get close” to your own baby? Screw that.

Yes she does mean well of course! We do have a good relationship. I guess I was just looking for a bit of a rant as I don't want to mention it to anyone I know in real life!

I actually think it's eminently sensible not to hug someone if you don't feel well.

It's a good idea to check whether these annoying but quite minor things would upset you so much if someone else said them-or would you just shrug and say "that's just Aunt Susan's way."

My MIL could be a bit like this. She also doesn't take offence easily. So, if she made a comment I would reply in the same vein.
Once she told me to hold DD's hand by the road and I 'm afraid I did say quite loudly 'however have we managed to stay alive and not get run over before today' 😁

Haha brilliant

She’s being annoying but I don’t think she means any harm, things are just different since she was a parent of a young baby.

Not putting coats on babies in car seats is a relatively new thing, as is baby led weaning and giving more lumpy/textured food. She’s just not seeing that we don’t do things the way they used to.

I get it. She means well but it’s annoying and a little judgemental even though she might not be thinking how it comes across.

She's annoying, and at 11 months you shouldn't be pureeing food unless it's soup! Purees were created for premature weaning before 6 months. After 6 months then normal food is what they should have.

not putting coats on babies in car seats is a relatively new thing, as is baby led weaning and giving more lumpy/textured food. She’s just not seeing that we don’t do things the way they used to
I think this is a good point - my MIL would comment (as would my Mum) or at least notice and ask, when I did something different to how they had done it - my stock answer was along the lines of this is now what we're advised to do. So it's not personal but the guidelines and reasons have changed.

At 11 months old, a child is well past the puree stage, if you're doing traditional weaning rather than baby-led. You introduce textures and lumps around 8 months, and by 10-12 months they should be eating finger foods and things cooked normally, just cut into pieces that can be safely chewed and swallowed. So purely on that point, she is being ridiculous.

I imagine when she told you to keep away from the baby, she actually meant keep you away from her