Rant about going out with a toddler

[mumofatoddlerhelp]

My ds has just turned 3 and we always try and go out and do nice things but every time we do it ends up being so stressful and everyone ends up grumpy and I wonder why we even bothered. Tantrums, whinging, walking the wrong way, refusing to walk, refusing to go in pram and so on. When does it get easier? Should we even bother?

I think 3 is quite old to go in a pram and mine would definitely have refused. But other than that I think all of those things are fairly normal. 3 year olds can be annoying and difficult as anything. Much better now mine is 5!

And I know, I'm going to get flamed for the pram comment!

Mine is exactly the same. And I would be absolutely lost without a buggy for him too. He can be so so lovely, and fun and joyful. But jesus fucking christ.

I can't stand my kids whinging. It's so annoying!
I find it really difficult that kids don't really understand the sacrifices you make for them. I remember taking my 4 & 6 year old nephews to lego land. Took the day off work, paid for them, drove miles. They moaned non stop. So annoying 😂

@mumofatoddlerhelp What are the tantrums and whinging about?
My DS has also just turned 3 and is certainly a bit more prone to a tantrum than normal. Although, usually getting him out of the house helps!
I actually agree with @Fantasia99 - mine does use a buggy once a week when I do the supermarket shop (I don’t drive for medical reasons and it’s a 40 min uphill walk on the way home so it’s just easier with DS in a buggy when I have bags), but he certainly isn’t a huge fan of being in there. Much prefers his bike.

What are you counting as ‘nice things’?

I find low pressure approach is the best way with my very stubborn 3 year old. We don’t pre book anything and we’ll mostly go to a place we can do things in our own time. It means if he wants to amble around he has time, if he’s tired and whingy we can get a snack and have a sit down etc. If he’s clearly not in the mood and it’s going to be horrendous we can abandon it. On a weekend, within reason, we’ll often just do what he wants to do as well. Quite often that’s literally sitting on the circular bus service around our town or getting a tram to a cafe, the park or the petting farm and coming home again. They are still really prone to overwhelm and overtiredness at 3 and we’ve found, after 3 days at pre school, DS often can’t handle all singing all dancing days out.

I know the feeling.. my DS is 2.5 and he just wants to stay home and play all the time. So he kicks off if we go out, even if it’s somewhere he likes going (park, library, shops).

We still use the pram because I don’t want to drive everywhere and I need the exercise. If it’s walkable for him, we will walk.. but it’s too much for him to walk the 2 mile round trip to the shops and happily walk around the shops too.

Sorry no advice there really..

@VivaVivaa thank you, maybe we do need to have more chilled weekends. Unfortunately he's non verbal (severely speech delayed) so he can't tell us what he would like to do. We don't even really know what he likes and doesn't cause he can't tell us! It just adds to all the stress. He goes nursery 3 days a week as well so at least he's getting good stimulation there I suppose. I just hate not doing much as I feel like we're wasting the weekend away

@Inyourwildestdreams not wanting to go in pram or walk where he wants is the biggest tantrums. Unfortunately he refuses to walk a lot of the time (wants to be carried) and I don't have the strength to carry him for long (and have a 9 month old) and my husband has a bad back so he has to go in the pram if he doesn't want to walk. He's non verbal as well which adds to he stress and most of the time we don't know what he wants and what he's tantruming about

My 20 month old won't go in a pram anymore 😂😂😂

@mumofatoddlerhelp That sounds really hard. Mine did have a period of wanting to be carried all the time which I just can’t do either so that was a definite battle. Does yours have a balance bike? Mine had just shown an interest in one now and loves it.
I don’t have any experience with speech delay myself but I have a friend with a 3yo with a severe speech delay and she certainly does show a lot of frustration due to being unable to communicate her needs. It looks very difficult.