I don’t think I am, but I am not in the best place and I can probably be a bit unreasonable at times. Husband left last year and has gone more or less NC even with DD(7), which is heartbreaking. There are times when I struggle to juggle everything and my sister has been an absolute rock, and she has supported me since it happened. I feel bad criticising her considering how much she has done, and how much she continues to do.
While I trust her 100% with DD I am just not comfortable with DD being around DS’s partner. Again, I feel bad because he hasn’t done anything bad really, but he just seems so clueless and insensitive at times and it just doesn’t sit right with me. The problem is that DS (obviously) and DD really like him, and I am the one who is making things complicated. DS thinks I am unreasonable and overbearing. I have really tried to reduce relying on DS to help me with DD, but she often asks if she can come along because they are very close and DD considers her and her BF as the “fun” and “cool” people. She also seems to see him as a replacement male role model, which is sad to watch for me as she is clearly struggling with her father having abandoned her/ us.
Just some examples of things that made me uneasy. We went to a lake during summer and DD was the only one swimming. At some stage he decided to get fully undressed and went for a swim, too. Needless to say I don’t want my daughter to be exposed to naked adults. DS laughed it off and said that it’s a cultural thing and that it’s normal behaviour where he is from. There have been other situations where he has just made comments about things that were clearly not age appropriate. I appreciate that DD is too young to understand these references yet, but I don’t want her exposed to attitudes and material that might make her things that such things are normal. There have been some instances when she had nightmares after he told her things that scared her.
I am not claiming that he is a danger to her, or that he has any creepy interest in her. He just seems clueless and completely unaware how to behave around children, and it bothers me that DS is brushing things off most of the time. I know DD likes to spend time with them but I just don't want her to be exposed to anything that will hurt and scare her considering how much she has already gone through. Am I overreacting here? I am asking because I really don’t think I am but I also appreciate that my head might not be in the right place.
Thank you