Potty training!

[Birdy1991]

Hello,
my DD is 3.3 and we are just getting nowhere with potty training with her! I have tried three different potties, a couple of which she has sat on twice but never done anything in. A few months ago (maybe July?) she did a small wee and a poo on one day and then literally nothing the next few days so we thought maybe she’s not fully ready and try again soon. We have tried on and off with different methods, e.g cold turkey with pants and also wearing pull ups. I have tried steps up to the loo in case she wants to sit on the toilet like a big girl. I tried making a game of putting a soft toy in the toilet and them going together, but now she has a meltdown about that. When suggesting the potty/toilet she quite often has a tantrum and we have never forced her to sit on it obviously. Ever since that one poo/wee nothing has ever happened since.
We tried really hard early September when she started a new preschool (she is one of the only children in nappies there) and one day they had 5/6 pairs of pants and leggings bagged up and they said this is just not sustainable. Fast forward two months later and we have still not got anywhere, in this time we have introduced the toilet steps without success.
I also feel guilty as I work full time in a demanding job so can’t be here to try all the time, my husband does and she may sit on the loo on a good day but then doesn’t do anything and 5 mins later will go in her pull ups.
I would go cold turkey again and stick at it until it hopefully sinks in but there is the issue of nursery! They have two members of staff and can’t manage changing 6 pairs of pants in one day. I have tried bribing with toddler cake bars (please don’t judge me 😞), sticker reward charts, I bought a book about children that start using the potty/toilet. What more can I do? Please help? I already feel guilt for working full time and not being here with her all day!

Hi OP

i found potty training really stressful too, so I waited this time round for ds3 to be almost 3 1/2. Started before he was 3 with general toilet chat - ‘this is a toilet, do you want to sit on it, it flushes’ etc. no pressure. Kept in touch with nursery to see if they felt he was ready etc. then we agreed to go ahead.

we started over the weekend without clothes, just letting him be, so lots of accidents and we just talked about it. Never made the toilet, started to only want to go outdoors. Each day, when we had enough of cleaning up, moved him back into pull ups. Then sent him into nursery - mornings only, let him have accidents, brought him home and put a pull up on.

slowly, i let him have two accidents a day, then back in pull ups. Just kept talking, asking, let him lead it.

I found putting him back in pull ups helped de stress me from getting frustrated.

took a few weeks, but found this worked a treat. More than two accidents, back in pants. He got there. So will your dd.

good luck

Same here your not alone trust me. My 3.3 year old has just the hang of weeing in the potty but point blank refuses to poop anywhere other than his nappy. It’s frustrating as no matter of time, bribery or praise will change it. He gets so upset about going for poops on the potty that I’m worried he’ll keep it in which i don’t won’t. I’ve come to accept that it will happen but he will do it in his own time, I’m guessing it’s one of those things you can’t force them to do. Ps nursery shouldn’t make you feel guilty they should be working with you and providing help and advice and encouragement for your little one. My little one had 3 poops in his pants at nursery yesterday and when I picked him up they didn’t complain they said he did really well using the toilet for wee wees. Don’t worry she will get there x

Thanks to both of you, I know she will get there one day, you don’t see any teenagers in nappies! The mum guilt definitely doesn’t help…

@Snorkello, I will give your method a go!