Social life

[TheresaWa]

Hi, how often do you go out with or without your partner and without children to do any kind of plans ? (Dinners, concerts, cinema, bowling or any other activity you enjoy).

I have a 2yo DS and anytime I will have a second child.
I changed job at the end of last year and it has been a very demanding long hours job this year so frequently finishing late and in April I found out I was pregnant, so I have been tired some time to do certain plans. I feel I miss going out more, having interesting conversations, etc. also because of the pregnancy I miss being able to do more things to do.

Back home abroad I feel my mom friends go out more and are less constrained by their children. Their support network is bigger and the lifestyle is different.

We live in Central London and my DP mother lives outside London, she comes twice a week to pick up our DS from nursery but we don't go out when she comes as we don't want her to drive late at night.

I feel recently trapped, I guess due to work, pregnancy tiredness and not many friends to do plans with.

Thanks

I'm out out in a couple of weeks for y works Xmas party I am so looking forward to having a few drinks. Other than the odd work department down the pub to celebrate a birthday (only 5 in the team) so I don't go out out much. But I love being home

I usually go out at least once or twice a week. Sometimes, that would be going for a run with a friend in the evening followed by a drink. Or dinner or theatre/art gallery. DH runs with friends/goes for a drink also once a week. But my youngest is 5. It does mean that one of us is out three times per week. However, it recently hit me that DC will leave the house and I would like to still have some friends and hobbies when that happens.

Once every 1-2 months with friends (mostly work socials and leaving dos etc).

I haven’t been out with DH since DD was born as she is only 16 months and we have no family near by to look after her and not yet ready to leave her with a babysitter.

I have a 23 month old and a nearly 7 month old.

I went out rock climbing (my number 1 hobby) around 6 different times between first baby being 3 months and 9 months. Partner would come with baby so I could free her just before & just after). Then that stopped (too tired with a baby who didn't sleep well whilst being pregnant. I then went to yoga once a week for a few months, until too pregnant.

ThIs year, i went out for a meal for my birthday with friends in Feb. Then baby arrived April. I went out 1ce swimming, 1ce climbing & I'm going climbing again tomorrow. Sooo that'll prob be 5/6 times in a year. We were away most of August & half of September tho.

Next year I'd like to think I'll get to rock climb weekly. And perhaps an afternoon/eve out without kids every other months.

Work, shopping and slimming world are really the only places I go with no kids. I'm a single mum and opportunities to go out are very rare due to lack of invites and lack of childcare. I think (generally) couples have better social lives either individually or together.

Until our kids were 6 and 11, we had no family support locally. So maybe once a year we'd get to go out together if my sister came to visit.

With friends I'd probably go out once every 2/3 months at that stage cos I was a SAHM and didn't have much spare cash to go out.

I have an 18 month old and usually go out about once or twice a week. I'll also when I'm on days off meet with friends during the day who have kids too.This week I've had a night out and two dinners with friends so particularly busy. My partner is the same and we normally get out together once or twice a month.

I'm a strong believer in maintaining a social life and hobbies as I need something other than being a mum and work in my life. Its essential for good mental health to have friends and connections with others. Before I know it, my son will be grown up and spending time with his friends and I hope by modelling good social connections and relationships that will help him as well.

Single mum with no support network. My child is 6. I go out about once a year, would love to go out more but the additional cost of a babysitter is prohibitive.

It's hard when you have no support network nearby. When mine were little some of the nursery staff did babysitting so that worked really well as my children knew them and we could trust them. It was mostly dinner out locally and not that often or for too long (as it gets expensive) but we used to really enjoy it.

We have a 1 year old and 5 year old and I never go out without the dc. But that's mostly out of choice as I like the consistency of our evening routines and putting dcs to bed, and I don't like the thought of having babysitters in our house when the dc are so young. I don't feel I miss out much as I generally preferred to just go out with DH even before we had dc. We don't go out just as a couple any more but we are out every weekend as a family, and for me that's a social life. We go to a lot of theatre, museums, concerts and London attractions etc so although it's family friendly it's still enjoyable for us as adults. I've also don't things for adults with my younger one in tow, like guided walks, cinema and theatre matinées although usually on my own but that's been nice to do more adult activities. I don't drink alcohol at all so I don't miss nights out at pubs etc.

I will have more time for myself once my DCs are both in school as I won't be working so for me it's something I'm happy to put on hold, knowing I can focus on the DCs when they need me more and I can get back to hobbies in a way that they won't miss me. We will probably use paid babysitters when the dc are a bit more independent and sleeping through. We are in London too and my family are here but I don't think I'd want them babysitting, I'd rather use a paid babysitter.

I have a 2.5 year old DD and a 4 month old DS (also in central London) so no chance of an evening out any time soon. Me and my DH are doing this solo as unfortunately there are no surviving grandparents nor uncle/aunties. The only people I know with little children (under 5) who consistently manage evening outs have family. I did manage some meals out with friends before DS was born, but that's unlikely to be repeated until he's well established on weaning (he's EBF and I don't express), and only if my DH stays in to be with the kids. We do have some friends locally who have/would watch the kids of an evening, and there are online babysitting services I know some people use, but I'd only leave for a night out with DH if I knew both kids would stay asleep (so never knew we left). It took DD 2yrs before she'd reliably stay asleep, so that's about 18 months away!

To be honest, it's just something I've accepted as being the rather sad consequence of not having any surviving extended family. At the moment I'm too exhausted to go out anyway (the 4 month sleep regression is real!), so don't feel I am missing out and I know through having DD that I will eventually get my evenings back. It's a hard slog, but they're not little forever