Potty trained 6 months but refuses to poo on the potty/toilet .

[FlippinNora]

My three year old (was 3 in January) will never do his poos on the toilet or potty and seems afraid to do so. Has a lot of trouble with his bowels which I'm sure is at the root of it but with laxatives is pooing regularly (and loosely!). He had a stint over xmas where he did all his poos on the potty, then he got constipated and refused to use it for poos again. We've got lots of incentives for him and a sticker chart and last night I sat next to him and read to him while trying to get him to poo (I could tell he needed one). He got upset so we left it, put his nappy on for bed and then, almost instantly, he pooed. Anyone else had the same problem, got any ideas? Thanks.

What worked for me was stopping chocolate and biscuits and being quite firm that the only way dd would get them again was if she pooed in the toilet/potty (this was after six months of pooing in her pants - every day). Took a couple of weeks but no problems at all since. The trick is to remove the treat entirely then reintroduce when they do waht you want.

There's quite a few threads on this with lots of good advice - look out for the Kandoo wipes in the bathroom idea (wish I'd thought of that)

ooh what's that kandoo idea? I have this problem with my fairly newly-trained ds. He gets so grumpy when a poo is overdue and it's a bit of a nightmare.

Thanks for that. What is the Kandoo idea - to have it there as something new and interesting to use as a reward? Does it work?

What worked for us was reading him books. There are a few good ones. Our fave was Everybody Poos by Taro Gumi - lets face it, babies and toddlers have heard their carers exclaiming "ooo yuck you have a poo in your nappy" and "who stinks" and "ooo thats a bad one" not to mention the expression on our faces - any wonder they have anxiety about their poo.

They need to know that it is not a 'bad' thing and that it is completely normal and everyone does it.

I am not a big fan of the bribery systems for anything myself, but also know that what works for one kiddie does not necessarily work for all and that for the sake of sanity parents will do whatever works for them.

Buy Kandoo wipes; put them in the bathroom next to the loo; wait for dc to say "ooh what are those?"; say "they're only for people who do poos in the toilet" - something along those lines.

BTW, I'm sure me stressing out about the situation - long, intense discussions about why shitting yourself is not a good idea (not in so many words, obv) - did NOT help. Chill out, you won't believe it now but it really will pass (in more ways than one, ho ho)