Feeling so lonely but never alone

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I'm 27, I have an amazing little boy who is 2 and half and am currently pregnant with baby boy No2, due in march next year.

I've always worked full time prior to having my son in larger office environments, I always had lots of friends, had fun at work, enjoying meeting new people.
I do work now but I only work evenings 5-10 and at home. I work 7 days on 7 days off which is perfect as I get to care of my son all day, don't have to rely on child care ect, so I know we are lucky in this way, but it's doesn't take away from the fact how lonely I am right now.
My partner has a good job, lots of works friends, goes out doing things with his work friends, like right now they're planning their Xmas party and I can't help feel envious of him, even to the excitement of finding an outfit.
Maybe i feel worse right now because I'm pregnant, I feel huge and so not confident at all to even want to do anything for myself.
My partner does try to encourage me to go out even for food but I feel with awful amount of guilt.

After having my son it took me about 18 - 24 months to find my new self, I suffered with quite bad post natal depression.
I take my son to classes multiple times a week just to help him be around other children which breaks to week up for us, but I feel like I'm always counting down the hours until his dad is home from work, I feel guilty I feel like I know next year he's going nursery and I will never get this time back with him, but I can't help but feel so alone, I don't really have many mom friends and the ones I do have they're working during the day.

9/10 things we do, it's just me and him, he's my little bestie and I love him more than anything but some days are tough. Im feel like heading towards the 3rd trimester of my pregnancy now I'm getting a little scared, just of myself more than anything I don't want to lose myself for my sons sake.

I think being pregnant is very isolating anyway but being pregnant as basically a stay at home mom with a toddler is very very isolating.

Sorry you haven't had any replies until now. That must have increased your feelings of isolation and loneliness.
I've just put up a post myself about feeling isolated as a parent. The guilt we feel is immense.
Are you still depressed? Can you talk to your midwife about how you feel?

Hi, OP

I completely understand where you are coming from. My first child was during COVID and it was one of the most isolating and depressing periods of my life. It almost two yrs to get out of the cloud of sadness hanging over me, l also had PND.

I have another child and l am taking a low dose SSR it has really helped me. I also talk to a physchologist one on one. Sometimes when my husband is at home l feel like he is so far away and being with a child or children all day is sometimes so draining and relentless. I know a part of me is gone and never coming back. I just don't know what l have lost😢

Please speak to your partner, midwife and get some help for yourself.

It won't always be like this. Even if you were in a busy office job you would soon be going out on maternity leave. Try to see this as a very short stage. Maybe after you finish this maternity leave plan to go back to a more social workplace. There is no shame in that. You are obviously a person who thrives with social connections and that is so important for your mental help. This contributes to a good relationship and good parenting. So try not to think this is my life forever. Is there something you can join for yourself where there is social interaction..a choir/ bookclub..an adult place just for you.
When you have your 7 days off can you sometimes go visit your mum presuming you enjoy her company and it can be considered a break.
My main point is this is only temporary...plan to return to work as this isolated work is not suiting you and that's OK.

I had this.

It was horrific.
I loved being a mum, and I was great at it. 2nd pregnancy from 7 months on it got hard. I was I alone mostly with both of them, from 3 months onwards it got so hard to manage PND hit at it worst.

Best thing for it was support. Ppl who listened to me without interrupting and advising, just listening and hearing me. Online, in person, even in a jornal.

2nd best thing is actual help. Nursery. Cleaners. I did too many take aways, wish I'd looked into a cook or batch cooking and freezing. Childminder/ nanny.

I had weekly cleaners, they were both mums, and honestly they were my friends at that hard time.

Playgroups/baby classes were good to get out, force fresh air and push for fresh mindset.

My biggest setback was the poor sleep. Husband was busy. I wish I'd had help with the nights.

My whole world also changed. I was in a fast paced, professional, ppl based job, worked in it since 18yrs old, then at 33 became a SAHM. DC1 made it an amazing time, DC2 I struggled to understand how I'll manage both without 1 missing out, the guilt hit hard and I've never been the mum I was since.

DC2 is 2 soon. The worst of PND is over, but it's left bad habits after its reign. DH is still too busy, I'm still alone in my head.
Try to avoid comparisons with DH, it causes resentment and then effects relationship too, try he enlist his help, to give you time to yourself 30 mins daily. I've taken up things I enjoy and can manage to do and I prioritise my self care.

I'm in a very similar place to you.
I have a 2.5 year old and due in march. And I've just had to stop driving as I can't fit behind the steering wheel. I count down the hours every day for my DH finishing work. I can't offer any advice just commiserate in this with you

I highly recommend the app Peanut to meet other mums in the area that want to make friends.

Motherhood is isolating in my experience I can't just go out with friends as the majority of us have to sort of child care even if it our husbands as mothers are often the default parent at home.

Putting your son in nursery before the baby comes for a couple of mornings a week might help with the transition to 2.

Take care xx