DS is 2, DD due in 2 months. I’m so scared I’m not even excited. I feel racked with guilt I wish it was just me and him a bit longer
im majorly the default parent. I do 90% of things as DH works later, I work but I nip out as after 4pm I have no calls, so I can get DS from nursery because I miss him
im drained got a bit of a bug and in my 3rd trimester so feeling pregnancy drained
DS is really high energy and in typical toddler phases, tantrums, hitting and biting
he mainly takes these things out on me, me being the default parent. So I just find it hard
I had PPA after having him so I’ve never left DS with DH longer than 5 hours. The person he’s stayed with overnight is my parents or MIL (twice) but I stopped the latter as he doesn’t settle that well with her or have much of a bond with her so it’s cruel to send him somewhere where he obviously doesn’t like it
PS he stayed with MIL twice due to kind of ultimatums from DH. My PPA has took a big
strain on our relationship
and although having that is my fault I looo at DH a bit angry :( I can’t stay at my work conference as I’m too afraid of being away overnight as DH is the heavier sleeper. DS doesn’t sleep through and I always wake and hear him and DH does later on or doesn’t and the thought of not being there in the night terrifies me
but also I would love a hotel room to myself for an evening. That sounds awful doesn’t it?
I mean I think I wouldn’t feel to bad if I knew I wasn’t having another so soon. We wanted a 4-6 year age gap but got caught during contraception change so can only take full responsibility
j think the constant thought of “how will I juggle 2?” Is in my head terrifying me