How do you manage housework and child?

[Bluela18]

I feel overwhelmed with housework and things to do. I used to work and study full time but I got so stressed with everything, to the point I was having nightmares and walking in my sleep, but trapped in a nightmare sleepwalk. I couldn't keep up. Now things with work are more balanced, but I struggle so much with my to do list. I try to have a room a day to sort but I feel there is just so much to sort and do. It's task after task. Call after call for different appointments and other things. Then I think I can finally sit down to relax for 10 mins but I remember I need to phone however many people to sort this and oh I forgot this and that. Constantly caught in a battle with housework and things to do. I can never have me time or do anything. I have a small child too , I do my best with but I always feel I'm thinking OK play time , then watching the clock and getting stressed about my next task. This isn't normal or is there some advice to manange things more?

I feel similar a lot of the time 💐

Hopefully someone will come along with great advice!

I'm better at focusing on one thing or another so I like to keep my DC's awake time for play and activities with DC, and do housework chores when they're napping or asleep for the night. Sometimes I have to juggle things while they're awake (phone calls) but I just try to do as much as I can online.

I also lower my expectations and have put off big tasks for when DC is older (in preschool so I'll have time in the day to focus completely). I have a very long list of "nice to do but not essential" jobs on the house but I just accept that it's not going to happen within the next year!

Thank you , I just feel there is so many things to do, every day there is different things, or appointments and things that need doing around the home. I do make to do lists and schedules but I still feel unsettled and find different things that need to be done but just don't have the time

Since returning to work after Mat leave I felt the same way. I have now essentially become a minimalist! I got rid of anything that didn't add value to my life and it's has been quite life changing. It made me realise how much stuff I was trying to manage and how that got in the way of the things I really wanted to be doing! It also makes cleaning a lot easier and quicker, easier to pick outfits, less time maintaining things that break etc.
of course there is still stuff that has to be done but it feels more doable now. Also mentally, I have more clarity of thought which helps me with dealing with all the necessities!

It's impossible!
One trick is to ensure you set aside fifteen minute blocks of time to focus entirely on your child, so, knowing your focus is entirely on playing/whatever you're doing together for a set, short time, you're able to give bursts of quality time.

In theory the child is then happier playing alone for the next fifteen minutes while you pay a bill or two or hang up the washing.

Can also put silly hats on and do clown mimes to entertain said child while on hold to utility companies for three hours, or put on speakerphone and dance to the musak together.

Worth a try, anyway.

Spend your time playing with your child, get a cleaner

I have a 7 month old and feel exactly the same OP. I hate not being on top of my life

@BabyMomma2021 I think this is what I need to do. I feel like I’m in a constant war with stuff. If I’m relentlessly focused and organised I just about can keep the chaos at bay but if I have one off day because I’m tired or busy at work or my toddler is having a difficult day then the chaos is back.

It really bogs me down and makes it difficult for me to get out of the house as I feel like I have to get on top of things before I go out. Its all a new experience for me as I really didn’t give much of a shit about mess before I had a child, I guess because I knew I always had hours of time to have a cathartic clean!

Being more minimalist has to be the way to go. Did you have any system to doing it?

Honestly, I don't. My kids are young but in school and I work during school hours.

Sometimes I get up an hour or two before them to put a wash on (cheaper on the elec that way too) and clean the bathroom or a quick tidy of their rooms if they've come into our bed during the night.

When we arrive at home I promptly put dinner on so I can avoid the snacks before meals which works for us, when they are eating I'll tidy either the dining room, kitchen or playroom (they all join on from one another so depends where they're eating that day)

Hoovering gets done daily downstairs but bedrooms less often tbh, I mop the kitchen and bathroom floors every other weekend because I genuinely don't have time otherwise. Once a month I'll do a deep clean with dp on a weekend where we move the sofas etc.

You need to create more time, meal plan then do an online food shop to be delivered so you don’t waste time going to the supermarket.

Use a slow cooker a few times a week so you don’t have to cook and make double the portions so I can eat it for lunch the next day. Cooking once a day is a big win in our house. And it saves money.

Put a wash on every night before bed using the delay feature so it finishes just before you get up.

I get up at 5am every weekday, I workout, have a coffee in peace, book any appointments I can online and do banking etc whilst having my coffee, I then hang the washing on the airer then get showered and dressed before my daughter wakes up.

Every appointment and reminder goes into my phone calendar, it’s colour coded for social, work, daughter plans and it’s shared with my wife.

As soon as my daughter is in bed I have a quick 20 minute tidy round, hoover, clean sides and prep any lunches needed.

I like to be in my pjs settled by 8pm so I can switch off and relax for a few hours behind bed.

Are you over doing it? Sorting out a room a day, making many home admin calls?

Keep your standards in check.

Also we use sweepy app for housework, helps us keep on top of what needs to be done and who has done what.

Use your Google calendar or something similar to timetable in what needs done each day.

Get a cleaner. That’s what we did.

Yeah this is how I'd like to be 😂😂 but not going to happen I'm knackered enough as it is without getting up an hour before my five year old and working out etc 😭

I also have been totally overwhelmed since returning to work. I just can't stay on top of everything at home either. It doesn't help my husband is incapable of ever putting anything in the bin so I feel like I have to tidy before I can clean. Every so often I go on a mad rampage and bin everything in site. It makes me feel a bit better for a short period, but essentially I've lowered my expectations of what does need doing on a daily/weekly basis

@Ollifer you don’t need to workout, I do it as I feel better but you could use that time to meal plan, do the shop, throw stuff in the slow cooker etc. This way once we’re home from school/work I can focus on playing with my daughter and having a chilled dinner, bath and bed as she gets my undivided attention for 2 hours.

Even up 15 minutes earlier to shower etc gives you more time with baby.

I get what you mean and I often get in my own head and stressed. Working from home just 1 day a week has really helped me manage life admin and I'm not as stressed on the weekend.

I think you're being a bit OTT though and either need to lower your standards or get a cleaner.

For context I work full time and have 2 under 3.

I generally do one full clean on the weekend, any life admin on a Friday when I wfh, keep on top of washing during the week and maybe whip the hoover around in the week too. Other than that it really doesn't need much more than that.

Does your partner help if you have one? If not start giving them things to do.

A cleaner was more work for me as we had to tidy first!

I am struggling. 4 month old and 3 year old and chaos

I struggle with this too, especially as I have a velcro toddler. The only thing I really keep on top of is the laundry, because DS loves helping with it. Have you heard of the involvement technique?

I try not to get stressed about the house though, because in the grand scheme of things a messy house is not that important. My house was perfect growing up, but I have far more memories of my mum slaving away than I do of us having fun together. Caring for your DC's needs is more important.

How old is your little one? It's something I find a struggle as well but my DD is now nearly 2 and does 'help' in her own way. Like the PP she loves helping with the washing so will 'bring me the clothes' to hang up and it always behind me with her brush/mop when I'm doing the floors- I find this helps as to her it's playing but I'm actually managing to get stuff done but I do agree it feels like there's never enough time for everything!

I thin the most important thing to remember is that not everything has to be done! At the start of the week I look around and think ‘I must get at the bathroom this week’ or get the oven done for example. Then daily I look at the stuff that HAS to be done eg clothes etc and hold off on the nice to have things. Someone said about the 15 minute play time- that’s great- I’d add after work/first thing in the morning sun to have done something they really appreciate with them so by the end of the day there’s an ‘at least I …’ thought in your head!!

If you can, can you take a day without DC to do a massive declutter and sort? It's so quick and easy to clean and tidy if you have minimal stuff.

I second this. It's a bit shit to take leave and spend it sorting/doing housework, but I always feel better having done it

Similar to Aperol I started with a meal plan which entailed writing a list of all the meals we like to eat, made a variety list of 7 then a shopping list that went with that. I also had a delivery saver and had my food delivered. Then once I had that sorted I went to a 2 week and then a 3 week meal plan swapping some meals out so they were every 6 weeks.

Slow cooker "dump" meals, look on Youtube for a million of these and batch cooking. Do you have a partner? I used to batch cook on a weekend when Dh was around doing the parenting. I used either frozen sliced or diced onions, frozen peppers etc so no chopping (look at Batch Lady on YouTube) I made the usual chilli but I times the recipe by 4 or 6. The first time you have chilli and rice, the next time it is nachos with the chilli beef plus salsa (jar) jalapenos and cheese served with guacamole and sour cream. Same with bolognaise first time spag bol well actually pasta because it is easier to eat, then next time baked ziti. If you freeze them in a gallon ziplock and lay them down they defrost quicker rather than a chunky block.

Load of laundry in at night to finish the next morning so you start the day with a load already done. I can highly recommend TOMM (The Organised Mum Method) for keeping on top of everything.

Depending on the age of your child get them to help tidy, starts them in a routine of it. I also stopped folding clothes beautifully, just chuck my knickers in the drawer, stopped folding Dh's t shirts that he wears in bed. Dh had a lie in on a Saturday morning, I had a lie in on the Sunday. The other parent got up with the children. It was bliss.

It’s impossible!

We do the bare minimum that I can stand to deal with. So, laundry has to get done, there’s no compromise there. But no ironing at all, and I do regularly not get round to putting my clothes away, so they inevitably end up in a permanent pile.

Living room is vacuumed every night by DH while I put kids to bed as it’s unliveable otherwise

Kitchen gets cleaned again every night.

Beds are changed once a week, and I do it during the bedtime routine for the kids so it doesn’t waste any time.

On a Saturday we try and do a general tidy and house clean. So one of us has both kids whilst the other cleans. We never get everything done so stuff just waits till the week after.