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Original poster

Breakfast club payments and exH using paid for places.

15 replies

muchalover · 14/11/2023 17:34

Hi, asking for DD.

Court ordered arrangement as mediation wasn't working. 50/50 custody but DD pays for everything even though he is a high earner and she is on student finance with no additional income ATM. She is doing a degree and on placement currently so arranged and paid for breakfast club in advance but gave explicit instructions that her prepayment was only for her and should exH use i breakfast club he would need to pay himself.

School said that as GS had one account this would be difficult but nevertheless gave assurances he would not be taking her money.

Today she got a bill for £68.

ExH won't pay it. There is no point in asking this time as it's happened before, several times and she ends up paying. If she doesn't pay her son won't be given a place in future.

Realistically what can the school do to stop this? It seems ridiculous with lots of split families with communication difficulties that school makes no provision in their own systems.

Thanks

OP posts:
Bobtheamazinggingerdog · 14/11/2023 17:38

Why doesn't she get maintenance?
She needs to stop paying in advance I assume

SawX · 14/11/2023 17:41

I'm not sure why you're posting about £68 when there are so many bigger issues here. When was the court order? Does he actually have the child 50% of nights?

Original poster
muchalover · 14/11/2023 17:51

@Bobtheamazinggingerdog it's standard in shared custody. No maintenance.

@SawX how to tell everyone you're privileged without saying you're privileged.

I was asking for advice on how others have managed not a judgement on my DD poverty thank you. £5 is a lot of you don't have it.

OP posts:

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autumn666 · 14/11/2023 17:53

Agree with PP that there are other issues here but could the school invoice for her time only? For example, if they do every other week give them a schedule of who to invoice for which weeks, or invoice her for every Wednesday and Thursday or whatever. Or pay after the event with details of which days it is to cover. If it is court ordered there should be paperwork to support the allocation of days.

If they don't receive payment for his weeks or days then they refuse to take the DC on those days. I had a similar situation with my ex and my childminder knew who should pay for each session and billed accordingly.

autumn666 · 14/11/2023 17:55

The childminder actually set up a contract with my ex to cover his days and a contract with me for mine. Could the school do that?

WhatInFreshHell · 14/11/2023 17:56

I just pay for mine the evening before I use the place. So this evening I've booked and paid for tomorrows session, and then tomorrow I'll pay for Thursdays session. I appreciate some schools may not allow you to do it this way, but I can pay for and select the place right up until tomorrow morning if I needed too. My exh kept doing the same and it pissed me off no end. The first time he tried to use breakfast club when I hadn't booked or paid for it was quite entertaining 😊 It was all my fault and I was very unreasonable. I'm a terrible person 😉

Original poster
muchalover · 14/11/2023 18:54

Thank you for the suggestions. I hope the school can allow her to make some arrangement that means she pays for her use and not his and that his non payment doesn't impact on her use of the club.

OP posts:
CandyLeBonBon · 14/11/2023 18:55

SawX · 14/11/2023 17:41

I'm not sure why you're posting about £68 when there are so many bigger issues here. When was the court order? Does he actually have the child 50% of nights?

Bloody hell are you for real? She's a student for god's sake!

CandyLeBonBon · 14/11/2023 18:57

I'd be getting a court ordered arrangement

SusanKennedyshouldLTB · 14/11/2023 18:57

I would just refuse to pay. The school need to edit their system as the current one discriminates against single parent families. Your dd has proof she paid for the sessions she used. The school need to bill the father.

Springingintosummer · 14/11/2023 18:59

I have a contact with my provider for set days - so if my child went on a day I had not paid for, they could not take them.

see what your DD’s contract is. If she does not have one get her to write saying she is only sending DD on Mon and Tue’s say and that is all she will pay for. Any other attendances are to be billed to other parent.

Onceuponaheatache · 14/11/2023 19:10

As shitty as the situation is, this isn't for the school to resolve. This is an issue between your dd and her ex.

No maintenance is not the standard even with 50/50 custody, especially where there is a large disparity in earnings.

Exp and I have 50/50 of our daughter, he pays me maintenance because he earns nearly 3 times my salary. We agreed an amount slightly less than the calculations stated, but he also pays 50% if all expenses for school and activities. If things are tight due to an unexpected bill for example he will give me extra or cover extra for dd.

Your dd needs proper legal advice and probably needs to take it back to court.

CandyLeBonBon · 14/11/2023 19:14

SusanKennedyshouldLTB · 14/11/2023 18:57

I would just refuse to pay. The school need to edit their system as the current one discriminates against single parent families. Your dd has proof she paid for the sessions she used. The school need to bill the father.

This.

SawX · 14/11/2023 21:01

muchalover · 14/11/2023 17:51

@Bobtheamazinggingerdog it's standard in shared custody. No maintenance.

@SawX how to tell everyone you're privileged without saying you're privileged.

I was asking for advice on how others have managed not a judgement on my DD poverty thank you. £5 is a lot of you don't have it.

What are you on about? You say she pays for everything which will be thousands a year, so why only post about £68?

Reugny · 14/11/2023 21:10

Onceuponaheatache · 14/11/2023 19:10

As shitty as the situation is, this isn't for the school to resolve. This is an issue between your dd and her ex.

No maintenance is not the standard even with 50/50 custody, especially where there is a large disparity in earnings.

Exp and I have 50/50 of our daughter, he pays me maintenance because he earns nearly 3 times my salary. We agreed an amount slightly less than the calculations stated, but he also pays 50% if all expenses for school and activities. If things are tight due to an unexpected bill for example he will give me extra or cover extra for dd.

Your dd needs proper legal advice and probably needs to take it back to court.

It's odd then schools around me resolve it.

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