Child doesn’t call me mama

[Upsetnotmama]

This is probably going to sound ridiculous but I feel upset and I can’t help it!

My first child is 18 months and she says dada, and our pets name, her nan is nana. I’ve been waiting for her to call me mama and guess what she has started calling me - my actual name.

doesn’t matter how much my DH and everyone says it’s mama or calls me mama she calls me my name. It doesn’t help that my name is a very easy and short name to say so I sort of get it but I’m so upset about it that it’s almost irrational.

she woke up yesterday morning and was calling out my name, not mama.

what can I do other than constantly say it’s mama and ignore when she says my name? DH thinks it’s absolutely hilarious and I’m being silly but I feel so crap because I do most things with her, I do the night wakes, gave birth to her and I don’t even get called mama. :( honestly breaks my heart hearing her yelling daddy and dada and nothing for me

I often call my mum by her name because she doesn’t respond when I say Mum. Obviously over years of me whinging she has tuned it out and takes no notice of Muuuum!

My own kids often call me by my name too. Partly because they think it’s funny. Partly because (same as my mum) I tune out the constant wails of Muuuuum! and they get a better response by yelling my name. Can’t say it bothers me tbh.

Bless you. She's a smart little cookie who has figured out your actual name and she's using it. She doesn't understand the emotional significance of calling you "mama" instead of your actual name, and it isn't a reflection of how much she loves you or how much you do for her. It's simply the name that she has somehow associated with you in her head.

I get that you're upset about this, but she'll probably start calling you something else as she gets bigger. Honestly - I mean this kindly - it really doesn't matter.

I wouldn’t worry too much. The fact that she was calling out for you shows what a lovely bond you have, even if she’s getting a bit mixed up with her words. I think you just need to wait until she’s a bit older, then she’ll understand what you want her to call you. She’s still just learning to speak and probably doesn’t completely understand yet. When I was her age I called both my parents Dada.

My friend has a big gap between her 2 girls and the baby calls her older daughters boyfriend babe. Whenever she sees him she flaps away and shouts babe, babe. She did use his real name in the end.

My daughter is 5 and calls me by my name sometimes. She thinks she's hilarious 🙄.

I wouldn't get too upset, she knows your mama, it's the identity she has assumed for you. Just give it some time, she'll be saying it non stop soon.

She has heard you being called this and is copying whoever is saying it.

I used to follow my grandad about as a toddler, as he was calling my gran 'JEAAAAAAAAAN' and I would say 'DEEEEEEEEEE'. She as known as 'Dee' to her grandchildren (I was the oldest and started the tradition) until she died. We even had 'Dee' printed on her funeral order of service.

Your kid will start saying 'Mum' as she gets older. 'Mama' though? unless you are Spanish.......

Sorry I mean mama or mum or mummy!

yes she’s heard my husband calling me it, despite always saying “go to mum/mummy” etc she’s calling my by my name :(

She'll grow out of it but I understand how much it hurts.

My dd went through a brief phase, around 12-15mo, of calling me Nunny because she couldn't pronounce the M in Mummy (even though from 10-12mo she could!) It sounded like Nanny... and I'm a different ethnicity to her (I'm mixed, dh is white, dd is basically entirely white) so people thought I was her paid nanny! It was heartbreaking and dh couldn't quite understand why I felt so strongly about it. I tried correcting her and of course it didn't work.

It only lasted about 3mo.

She'll grow out of it. I really doubt she'll be doing that at 15 (once she gets old enough you can correct her)

Your DH finding it 'hilarious' isn't helping , is it?! Tell him to pack it in.

It does matter because your children are the only people who will ever call you mummy/ mum/mama etc. Everyone else calls you by your name.

You could try not responding so quickly and just keep repeating (and repeating)mama, if that's what you prefer. They get the point eventually.
It's got nothing to do with how secure or otherwise your DD feels.

I think this is good advice.

I can't imagine why you are upset by this - you have a healthy happy toddler! Just forget it.

When mine was 3 she called me by my name for a solid 6 months to the point it even annoyed the mums at school (god knows why it bothered them)
She's 6 and it's returned. We are extremely close though. See it as a compliment x

I remember my ds aged about 2, and who apparently had been wittering on at me from the back carrier suddenly bellowing 'CMOT' - which did get my attention, and thereafter if he really wanted me he'd use my name. But he did stick to mum eventually.

Just reinforce with a 'yes poppet, mummys here / mummy will get your juice' or whatever. I'm sure its just she hears everyone else call you by your name so thats what she is hearing

Don’t ignore her, just answer to it like you would if it was your DH.

Its honestly just a phase and she’ll soon grown out of it.

Just carry on getting DH to call you mama when talking to her.

Does she say any words with M yet?
It could be that’s she’s finding it difficult to pronounce it but she’ll soon learn.

When I was around 3 yrs old I called my DM by her first name. DM was very hurt by it but I was just a kid, it didn't last long. I was back to calling her mommy within a few months.

My son was mildly speech delayed as a toddler and didn't call me or DH Mama or Dada for a long time. Our HV gave me great advice, which was to refer to ourselves in 3rd person e.g.
'DS can you give Mama the ball. Oh thank you for giving Mama the ball, Mama really likes it when you share.'
'Okay, Mama change your nappy now'
Don't refer to yourself as me, but just as Mama. Within a few weeks he'd got the hang of it.
Sometimes now I forget to speak in first person and refer to myself as mummy as I got so in the routine of it.

Thinking about it not really words beginning with M! She’s said mama but not actually directed at me, she called some food she was looking at mama the other week lol. She says other words.

Don't stress, it's just a phase. Keep gently correcting her every time, point to yourself and say "mama" with a big smile but don't make it a big deal. She'll get there in her own time, she's not choosing not to say it, she's just still working her speech out. She's only got one mummy!

My son went through a phase of calling EVERYONE "dada" when he was about 1. That lasted a few months, and we progressed to names for everyone except me. I was called "dada" for about another 6 months. Obviously I laughed it off to everyone, but it was really upsetting and I totally understand your feelings.

Please be assured that she knows you are mummy; she knows you're her person. This is purely a phase that she will grow out of.

I kept responding to my son as if he called for me, but every time he called me dada I would cheerfully say "Mummy!" It wasn't a quick transition, but it works.

I don't think it's unusual at her age, da da, ba ba, type sounds are usually earlier than Ma ma, so da da often comes first. If your name is easier for her to map onto speech sounds she already has then she'll use that at first. My first DC called me Bo Bo for a few months when he could say daddy so clearly. The rest of the family finding it hilarious didn't help. But he began saying mummy quite soon after and still says it now he's 12 when he wants something. There's plenty of time for you to correct her as she develops a better understanding of language. They say all sorts of cute words at that age that they soon grow out of.

Exactly.

DS started calling me by my name as a toddler, and, after his grandparents had had some kind of actual summit on what the four of them wanted to be called (Granny/Gran/Graddad/Grandpa etc etc), he has always called them by their first names too.

He was always a smart little cookie, and I think he got fascinated by the different names people went by (so hid grandmother being 'mum' to me, 'First Name' to DH, 'nickname' to his grandad, and 'supposedly; granny to him). I think his logic was kind of 'Well, if X is your real name, that's what I'll call you!'

He's 11 now and entirely fabulous. It doesn't indicate some kind of dysfunctionality.

Oh do try not to worry, it's just a phase as she's learning, it's not personal at all. She's repeating what she's heard others call you that's all. My daughter called me "Bodi" for a while because it was the closest she could get to Blondie, which is what my dad and grandad call me and for whatever reason that stuck in her head instead of mummy. She switched to Mummy and Mum eventually!