Loosing my mind

[Jayjay08]

Hi, I am a single parent I have a newborn - 4 weeks old .. luckily he’s a good baby and hardly ever cries. I have a 3 year old He loves and kisses my newborn but as soon as I pick the baby up he punches/ pinches the baby. Whenever I’m feeding a bottle my 3 year old will kick off and run around towards him and try and grab him and pull him out of my hands. He’s so full on like constantly wants me to do things with him and kicks off whenever I say no. He repeats things over and over and over again like ‘ I want the toy.. I want the toy… I want the toy’ - literally whenever he dosen’t get something he will just sit and repeat it over and over again. I feel like I’m loosing my mind. He goes to nursery full time but I literally feel like I’m dreading 3 o’clock and the weekends. I can’t even believe I’m saying that I love him so much and have never felt like this. I just don’t no what to do. He’s usually such a sweet kind boy but I literally don’t want to go to bed so I don’t have to get up in the morning and repeat another day 🙈

To add- he punched my 4 week old in the face… he bit/ pushed his teeth into his head causing teeth marks and he scratched his foot causing it to bleed - every time it’s only when I am cuddling him or feeding him 🙈

I was in a similar boat, I had to hold really strong boundaries with the 'aggressive' behaviour. Everytime he did something like that he would go in his cot and I would tell him some version on - 'its ok to feel frustrated that I'm spending a lot of time with the baby but it's not ok to hit/bite/scratch/ throw things at her. I'll be back in a minute when you've calmed down'.

I never, ever leave him very long and make sure as soon as he's calm or not crying for even 15 seconds I go and get him.

But you have to do it every single time without hesitation.

Do you have anyone that could watch the baby for a few hours every week so you can spend some time with your older son? That's the root of the issue x

Yeah I put him outside the living room door and shut the door whenever he hurts him and he’s not allowed in untill he says sorry and he always does say sorry and kiss him but same thing happens again. Like when the baby cries I feel like I can’t even pick him up otherwise my 3 year old will go mad. I honestly don’t even no what to do. I try and get the baby to sleep for when he’s back from nursery and then I give him a bath and play with him and stuff .. it’s more like I’m ignoring my newborn .. my 3 year old gets way more attention. But it’s the constant need for attention like even to the point my 3 year old won’t go to the toilet without me coming with him, wants me to sit on the floor and play with him, repeats things over and over again when not getting his way.. throws things etc 🙈